web analytics
September 30, 2014 / 6 Tishri, 5775
At a Glance
InDepth
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim with Soldiers 5774 Roundup: Year of Relief and Service for Israel’s Needy

Meir Panim implements programs that serve Israel’s neediest populations with respect and dignity. Meir Panim also coordinated care packages for families in the South during the Gaza War.



Home » InDepth » Op-Eds »

For Tehila


Tehila Elbogen died in March, shortly after her sixteenth birthday and after a two-and-a-half year struggle against a rare and as yet incurable cancer. She lost the physical battle, winning the one that was spiritual and leaving a legacy that all of us who knew and admired her shall cherish until the end of our days.

She taught that life is not measured only by the number of years. At least as important, it is measured by how the allotted years are used. By this standard, she lived a full life and triumphed over death, a truth that as yet is of limited consolation to her family. I write now but did not write when she died because I feared my words would be inadequate, that they would not convey Tehila’s vitality and goodness and what made her special.

For forty-one years my wife and I – and the children as they came along – have shared a two-family house in Boro Park with Brocha and Shmuel Hoch, they as landlords and we as tenants, terms that while accurate in a strict legal sense distort the essence of an extraordinary relationship. They are our closest friends, people of instinctive kindness. There is a powerful bond of affection that encompasses their children and ours and now also their children’s children. We are an extended family.

Shmuel and Brocha have five children, each gifted and blessed with spouses of great merit, achievements and character and each actively involved in our community’s religious life. Recki is the youngest. Her modest and soft demeanor conceals substantial intellectual strength and other gifts. Her spiritual strength is greater still. We have known her since the age of two, and I can say with certainty that I have never heard anyone utter a deprecatory word about her.

Recki and her husband, Volvi, a man whose merit mirrors hers, were fortunate to have five beautiful children, with Tehila in the middle as the third. Tehila was sweet and smart, at once serious and full of fun. She had a smile that enveloped her and was transmitted to persons in her presence. She wanted so much to live. She had so much to give.

When she was diagnosed, the shock was enormous, as it always is when children are stricken with a life-threatening illness, an experience more common than we may want to acknowledge. Chai Lifeline, which was established to serve and assist Jewish children with cancer and also the families of these children, attests to the prevalence of serious illness, as do the pediatric oncology departments of major hospitals.

As parents do in these sad and frightening situations, Recki and Volvi worked feverishly to do all they might to help their daughter, seeking whatever information they could learn, ensuring she got the best medical care, acquiescing to different treatments and staying with Tehila for days when she was in the hospital. Their love, support, and devotion knew no bounds.

In good health Tehila was petite. Illness made her frail. Yet there was that life-affirming smile, that ever-present “thank you soooo much” on her lips. Her love and concern for others drew everyone who came into contact with her into a unique, everlasting circle of love. Knowing the pain she experienced was bringing much pain to her parents, she tried to shield them from the knowledge of her enormous suffering.

Though she never wavered in her emunah, she undoubtedly experienced moments of difficulty over the fate that was hers. One of her oncologists at the Children’s Hospital of New York-Presbyterian, a woman who obviously knows much about tragedy and suffering, came to love Tehila and to know of her wounds. This is from her memorial tribute to Tehila’s indomitable spirit, an expression of gratitude “for her courageous miracle life I was blessed to share”:

 

 

When I hear people describing the “uncomplaining” girl who was always so “nice,” I think quietly “are we talking about the same kid?” My Tehila relentlessly reproached her disease – sometimes catching the ones she most loved in the crossfire. At first I thought she barely tolerated me, then I was let in on the secret. I was one of the lucky few permitted to see the real stuff of which she was made.

About the Author: Dr. Marvin Schick is president of the Rabbi Jacob Joseph School. He has been actively engaged in Jewish communal life for more than sixty years.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “For Tehila”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Arab terrorists at the traffic circle in Ras al-Amoud May 2011
Children Evacuated as Arabs Attack JM Neighborhood of Maaleh HaZeitim [video]
Latest Indepth Stories
FE_PR_100112_22Learning_CableTV425x282

Can teenagers seriously be expected to behave properly when they are surrounded by so much suggestive material? Is it fair to expose them (and ourselves) to so much temptation and then tell them, “Just say no”?

Narendra Modi

Washington remains ignorant of the need to dismantle alliances with various Muslim countries.

ISIS terrorist

Defeating IS requires bombing its strongholds and recognizing the violent nature of Islam.

PA Chairman Mahmoud Abbas speaking in Ramallah, July 1, 2014.

Abbas again used the UN to attack Israel, distort history, and undermine prospects for peace.

Israel and the Palestinian Authority cannot even agree to move their clocks back on the same day.

Shemita is about relating to each other by temporarily eliminating gaps of wealth power & status

David transcended adversity to become a leader; Who are we to make excuses for a lack of greatness?

sympathy: Feeling sorrow or pity for another’s tribulations; Empathy:sharing an emotional experience

Last week the president announced a four-point plan. Unfortunately, there’s little buy-in from our European and Middle Eastern allies. Here’s my own four-point plan that may be more palatable to our allies.

Rosh Hashanah has an obvious connection to God’s Kingship. We constantly refer to Him during the Asseres Yemei Teshuvah as Melech/King. The nusach of the tefillah, referring to Rosh Hashanah as “a remembrance of the first day” (of Creation), implies a certain dimension of divine kingship operating at the time of Creation and replicated every […]

Yes, God judges, but His judgment is that of a loving father who longs for his child’s quick return.

Anti-Semitism has returned to the mainstream of European society and Israel has become its focus.

Home is Milwaukee where their congregation, Beth Jehudah, and community always await their return.

A murderous uprising is taking place in Israel; On the roads, In the mixed Jewish-Arab cities.

“It’s a lousy column and a dishonest one,” Halberstam wrote. “So close it. Or you will end up just as shabby as Safire.”

More Articles from Marvin Schick
Front-Page-090514

Although I was not a Zionist, like most others I knew in Agudath Israel in which I was active, I was zionistic.

Front-Page-040414

We now are in the season of advocacy of preschool, referring specifically to the education of children who are four years old.

Two months ago, the Pew Research Center issued a comprehensive study of American Jews and ever since the American Jewish community has been debating the findings. I have contributed my share to this debate, which concerns matters of critical importance.

As the Torah teaches, poverty will never be eradicated, nor will our obligation to assist those in need.

As we commemorate the fiftieth yahrzeit this Friday, the second day of Kislev, of Rav Aaron Kotler – the greatest Jew, in the opinion of even many of his fellow Torah luminaries, ever to set foot on North American soil – we are obligated to reflect on his achievements and the lessons he taught.

A major sociological characteristic and consequence of modernity is the tendency for people to join together in associations that express a common goal or interest or a shared experience. The United States has been a nation of joiners from day one and perhaps even before independence was declared. Alexis de Tocqueville described this tendency in Democracy in America, the epic prophetic work published a century and three-quarters ago.

There is constant talk of a tuition crisis, of the growing number of yeshiva and day school parents – and potential parents – who say that full tuition or anything close to it is beyond their financial reach.

Where children are emotionally and socially when they are not in school is a matter of growing concern for educators, especially in Jewish schools and other religious institutions.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/indepth/opinions/for-tehila/2007/09/05/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: