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April 18, 2014 / 18 Nisan, 5774
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Posts Tagged ‘Jewish Orthodox’

JBlog Roundup: Love and Marriage and Hate and Divorce and Blintzes

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

You want strange news? I’ll give you strange news:

According to a complaint filed in Federal Court, Nancy Genovese, a mother of three, was arrested for taking a picture of the decorative shell of a helicopter on display in full public view near the entrance of the Gabreski Airport in Suffolk County, New York.

While shooting the chopper from her car, she was approached by a Southampton Town Policeman, who demanded to know why she was taking photographs. The cop notified the Suffolk County Sheriff’s Office and the authorities at Gabreski Airport that Nancy was posing a terrorist threat.

Among those responding to the call were airport officials, Homeland Security, the FBI, the Southhampton Police Department, and the Westhampton Police Department. Genovese and her 18- and 20-year-old sons were questioned for six hours by the side of the road by everybody in range wearing a uniform. It’s not a very busy airport. it’s not like they had better things to do.

This went on for quite some time, and involved many different kinds of humiliation and threats, including a lot of needless jail time and being placed on suicide watch – and also some cash is missing, don’t ask. Read the whole thing, if you’re into this kind of entertainment (of course you are). But the lesson we take from this really bizarre story is:

Cops Scare Easy.

Seriously, it’s something I’ve learned a long time ago, and just goes with their territory. Cops Scare Easy, and so when you run up against one of them, think of him as Bambi, fragile, and frightened out of his mind. But it’s Bambi with a sidearm, so be even sweeter.

EAT, PRAY, LOVE, WED

Tania, a female Jewish Orthodox student at Yeshiva University with an international background. She says she attended a wide range of Orthodox institutions from the right to the left. In her blog, Thinking Jew Girl, she goes into School, Peace in the Middle East, Orthodoxy (whatever that means), women’s rights, shidduchim, engagements, weddings (that’s three different aspects of the same gigantic issue), food, politics and anything else (I think she may have left out only figure skating and philately).

Yesterday, a reader wrote her: “I’m worried I will never get married. Do you have any suggestions of how I can avoid this nagging feeling? Do you have the same problem?”

If I had a dollar for every time some friend told me she was afraid she’d never get married… My humble opinion is that getting a good shidduch is a lot like finding the right home: the range of the supply depends on the demand. Or, in other words, it’s all about expectations and standards.

I’m saying it even though I actually found my loved one of many, many years all by myself, without the help of a shadchan. Back then we were a little looser, if you know what I mean. And I’ve stuck by the same lovely person ever since (we’re in our fourth decade together, in case you’re curious).

Tanya writes back: “I totally understand and empathize with your feelings of frustration.”

She continues with a heart breaker:

“About a year ago, I went out with this guy who was ten years older than me… It was the best first date of my life. He had huge warm eyes, a friendly demeanor, a genius mind, he was tall and cute, and the conversation had this awesome flow, positive energy, and I was sitting there thinking ‘Oh my Gosh! This guy is SO cute!’”

But then… “A month later at midnight he dumped me.”

To find out how Tanya managed that one and what she’s doing every day to stay sane and not slip behind in her YU work, visit her blog and say hi from Tibbi.

GET THAT GET

First, here’s the NY Post report, condensed version:

Four guys in black ski masks, tied up and beat Robert Klein, 25, an Orthodox guy from Brooklyn, until he told a rabbi he was giving his wife a get.

Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 1/20/06

Wednesday, January 18th, 2006

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories by e-mail to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215.

To all women, men or children who feel that they are at the end of their ropes, please consider joining a support group, or forming one.

Anyone wishing to make a contribution to help agunot, please send your tax deductible contribution to The Jewish Press Foundation.

Checks must be clearly specified to help agunot. Please make sure to include that information if that is the purpose of your contribution, because this is just one of the many worthwhile causes helped by this foundation.

**********

Dear Rachel,

Regarding the chronicle from the anonymous parent of a gay child (11-18), I would like to give you my input on this subject.

I too am the mother of a gay young man, an Orthodox gay young man – a wonderful young man. Of course I wish my son would marry and have a family, but he was born gay and I have to live and accept this fact. At a young age I knew already that he was different. Children are born gay – they are not created gay. No outside forces can make them gay. Scientists have proven that there are special gay genes passed down through the mother. My son is a gentleman – he would never think of marrying a girl just to protect his name or reputation, or that of his family. Too many Jewish Orthodox families push their “different” children into marriages to hide the truth – and in the end produce sad bitter spouses and mixed up children, many of who have written you sad desperate letters.

Being gay is difficult for an Orthodox Jew, and my son at times has told me that maybe he should think about not being Orthodox, since he is not accepted by the religion as such. But I tell him that he is religious because he believes in Hashem and the Torah, and what other people think is not important. I tell him “do as many mitzvos as you can.”

By the way, my other children and my daughters-in-law and sons-in-law also love my son because he is such a fine person, a big baal-tzedaka. Many times I have had at my Shabbos table Orthodox young people who, when their families found out they were gay, disowned them. I could never do that to my son. If he was a thief, if he committed adultery, I could distance myself from him, but not for something he has no power over. Like I said before, he was born that way.

Don’t encourage gay people to hide their inclination and make believe that they are straight. They will only hurt those who love them.

Anonymous parent with an honest input

Dear Parent,

With all due respect to your very special calling in life (caring mom), your endearment of the child that you carried and nurtured under your heart has led you to embrace a totally distorted perspective of his “condition.” Somehow, somewhere you have sadly been fed a completely false premise – that homosexuality is genetic, and the absurdity that it is inherited via the mother! For the record, there is absolutely no scientific evidence (after all the exhaustive attempts at studying the issue of genetics in this area) that proves homosexuality to be genetically inherited.

Please don’t misunderstand – in no way do I suggest that your love for your son is misguided (nor that you should coerce him to marry before he is ready to). On the contrary, your strong feelings are most admirable, and you are indeed fortunate that your child is one you can be proud of. He sounds truly like a gem of a human being.

Precisely because of your deep caring and the fact that you are a G-d fearing religious family, you owe it to yourself and to your son to leave no stone unturned in pursuing a course of proper psychotherapeutic evaluation with a really competent psychotherapist to determine whether there is any serious possibility of change. To say “don’t need it don’t want it is fixed and unchangeable was born with it ” may be perfectly acceptable for the vast majority of people in the general world, but it is folly and contrary to the teachings within our Orthodox framework.

HETERO-sexuality is our natural state, from which it is possible to become diverted in childhood. In psychological terms, this would be defined as a failure to reach full psychosexual maturation. By no means is this considered to be an unbreakable disorder – unless one is in serious political or psychological denial.

No one is claiming to have easy answers or quick cures. We are all dealt challenges in life that we are expected to rise to and overcome, rather than resign ourselves to making peace with the devil. You are certainly to be commended for doing the right thing in accepting and loving your son regardless of his struggle. Homosexual behavior should be condemned, not the person who adheres to Torah values despite his foreign inclination.

G-d’s commandment for us to steer clear of “abominable” doings should alert us to the fact that the temptation can present itself. For otherwise G-d would have had no reason to lay down the law.

Thank you for sharing your pride and your pain. May you be blessed with happiness, healing and an unburdened heart.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-18/2006/01/18/

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