As the first yahrzeit of my heroic nephew—David Menachem Gordon—approaches, Chaf Gimmel Av, there is much to reflect upon.
David’s life was mostly happy. He had siblings who loved and admired him; parents who genuinely loved, fought for, cheered for, and cherished him. An extended array of family and friends who remain inspired by his bravery. He was a true friend; and if you were among the many that he called ‘friend,’ he was faithful, honest, and straightforward—as much as one can be, even if it was to his own detriment. He had a smile that almost forced you to smile back. And those eyes! Those beautiful, blue, hypnotic eyes. He had an enviable simchas ha chayim–a love of life—that was often contagious. David was a: brother, son, grandson, nephew, uncle, cousin, talmid, comrade, and friend; but we must also remember that David was indeed a warrior, and a proud soldier who fought, and saved lives in Gaza—all for the country he loved.
As we mark one year without our Beloved Consoler, I am still filled with anger and disdain. It is extremely difficult to mourn David properly, mostly because of the many unanswered questions about his passing. I suppose I could ask the MANY people who proclaim to be ‘in the know;’ or I could ask the MANY journalists and bloggers who wrote about his life, without having the benefit of actually knowing him. Specifically, I am referring to those of whom wrote details about his death, after never seeing a report, or asking his family—just assumptions.
It is interesting to note, that for the first few months I read everything I could just to feel like I knew as much as everyone else seemed to. Many times I’d pose questions to my sister (David’s mother), but most of her information, albeit inaccurate, came from the internet. We quickly learned that articles and stories need not be truthful, accurate or even original to be published. For instance, I read in several places that his phone was found smashed, and the SIM card was gone; but on a recent trip to Israel, I was handed David’s phone with SIM card intact, by an IDF Givati Commander.
Publications felt the need to report that: “His gun was found by his side,” which is the military’s code for suicide. And many felt that his supposed suicide was a result of the abuse he experienced as a child. Those journalists did not do enough research, nor will they know the hurt their words and opinions caused his grieving family. David was a survivor, NOT a victim. He persevered with love and support, from his family and friends. He sought help for himself, and used his pain and talent with words to regain trust in people. And he took great strides to help other survivors of abuse to find their voice. Through his blogs he was able to touch people’s lives in such a way, that readers thought he was speaking directly to them. He made a difference, and he saved lives. He never wanted to be known as ‘the kid who was abused.’ His activism, if that’s what it is called, was life-changing for so many.
“Blush for a few moments, so others don’t have to bleed.” This mantra, if you will, has changed lives, and has allowed for real healing. David’s strengths and talents were developed from his experiences, but it is important to understand that those experiences do not define him.
The details of David’s death are unknown, even to this day. His family has not been given the information that the early reports seemed to publish freely, and repeatedly. It appears that much about his passing will not be revealed. Moreover, certainly not enough to answer the many questions that still plague his family and friends.
I recently saw on Facebook, that for the yahrzeit of our 3 Israeli teens who were brutally kidnapped and murdered this past summer, that we should unite together, as a Jewish Nation. To unite against hatred, bigotry, and terrorism. I loved the idea! I loved that all over the world, we as a Jewish People, could actually get together with no hidden agenda, and just behave as we should—for the elevation of the pure souls: Eyal, Gilad, and Naftali.
I ask for something similar in honoring the memory of David Menachem, but feel the need to go a little further. Because David demonstrated such chessed in his shortened life, with his work in the Chessed Group (Yitzchak Shlomo Krepel), R’ Eliezer Goldsmith (a.k.a. The Midnight Rabbi), and his volunteer work with Magen, in addition to all of the chessed he did quietly, I feel it is important to remember the lessons David embraced.
Let’s step out of our own comfort zone, l’iluy nishmas David Menachem, and increase our acts of chessed, as David would have wanted us to do.
For some of us, every day is Yom HaZikaron—and we will never let David Menachem be forgotten. Y’hi Zichron Baruch.