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August 31, 2014 / 5 Elul, 5774
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What Kind of Community Needs to Hear this?

Rabbis have to stop dismissing everything that comes from outside the Beis Medrash.
Rabbi Mendel Epstein

Rabbi Mendel Epstein
Photo Credit: The 5 Towns Jewish Times

There are many very happy marriages within our community. There are also many happy marriages outside our community. We can learn from them. We should learn from them. Hopefully we can arrive at a place where we can laugh at the absolute silliness of a Bill of Rights that says not to abuse women, to provide for one’s family, and to be intimate with one’s wife. I hope we get there soon.

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About the Author: Rabbi Eliyahu Fink, J.D. is the rabbi at the famous Pacific Jewish Center | The Shul on the Beach in Venice CA. He blogs at finkorswim.com. Connect with Rabbi Fink on Facebook and Twitter.


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7 Responses to “What Kind of Community Needs to Hear this?”

  1. Igor Stavnitser says:

    "But here is the real problem. What kind of society needs to be told these things? How is this all not patently obvious? What kind of world needs a rabbi to affirm these basic principles?"

    What kind of society?
    Society that has heard incredible stories since birth. Stories that make contemporary stories of misogyny sound tame. Yael's sacrifice, Yehuda's treatment of Tamar, etc.. Society where there is no forum for critical discussions of such stories, other than following few standard explanations.

    In any case you don't get a community you want, you get a community you get. So this Rav got the one on his hands that needs to be told that you can't abuse your wife. So… who exactly are you angry at?

  2. why would a person get married and then decide to abuse their wives, or it does happen their husbands? then they are probably getting married for the wrong reasons, and should be told so before they take their vows.

  3. Eliyahu Fink says:

    Why do you think I am angry?

  4. Eliyahu Fink says:

    Why do you think I am angry?

  5. Well, Torah is a tool, not a magic wand (even the latter is a tool, actually… never mind). If you don't use it the proper way, it's gonna do nothing. So, there are religious jews who need to be told those things (another question – they just won't give a damn about anything they're told by anybody other than those who have already taught them exactly what they already believe… never mind, again). And the others – have, for about 100 year, been reading secular books, getting degrees in universities, and, in general, looking at things "outside the community"… I don't quite understand your passion. :)

  6. Igor Stavnitser says:

    Igor Tseitkin Abuse must be quantified somehow to make any conclusions. Each case is uniquely tragic, however, it would be useful to see some numbers to benchmark incidence of abuse vs other groups before making any conclusions. With so many different types of spousal abuse to choose from, there are probably cases within all groups. What are the numbers and sources?

  7. malkae says:

    people who abuse their wives are not ‘regular’ people, they are dysfunctional were not talking about the norm, they have a need to dominate, control, abuse and disrespect in order to feel powerfull and they have no empathy

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