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Conceivably, there was a misunderstanding early in the relationship with your in-laws that has now become a colossal rift. I ask you to take a step back from your anguish and reframe the situation in a way that gives your in-laws the benefit of the doubt. Then attempt to speak to them in a loving manner about how important it is for you to be close with them. From an emotional standpoint, this may be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do. But if you can succeed, you will reap huge rewards in this world and in the World to Come.

It’s also possible that your in-laws are very insecure and do not know how to act while around you. They may feel that you do not like them or want them around, not realizing that this might stem from the way they’ve behaved toward you. Since we can never know how a person feels until we’re in their shoes, please do your best to keep an open mind. Hatzlachah!

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Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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