web analytics
August 31, 2015 / 16 Elul, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Opening Up About The Holocaust

Respler-013114

Dear Dr. Respler:

Regarding your January 17 column, “Passing On One’s Holocaust Experiences,” I wish to offer some comforting words to the grandmother whose father is sharing his wartime experiences with his 11-year-old great-grandson (the letter writer’s grandson).

I am also a child of survivors, one whose mother still has a clear mind. Although she is physically healthy, she is very depressed. All my life she never shared any details of the atrocities she endured during the war. I think if she shared her pain, she would unburden herself. I agree with you that the letter writer needs to redirect the audience for her father’s horror stories, but it sounds like her father is still enjoying his life and relating to his family. Conversely, my mother has always been a quiet, sad person.

Baruch Hashem, our amazing father had a positive outlook and dealt with his issues differently. I feel very bad for my mother; as no one wants to be around her, she is very lonely. She has no friends, and even her few contemporaries who went through what she endured are different than my mother. While I may be reading between the lines, it seems from the letter that this woman’s father is not depressed. Thus, she should be grateful that he still wants to be a part of the lives of his grandchildren, great-grandchildren and you. That being said, I reiterate my agreement that this woman must help her father find another medium to express his painful memories.  An 11-year-old child should not be put in the position of having to deal with these issues.

I wish my mother would talk about her pain. In fact, I showed the woman’s letter to my mother thinking it would start a conversation between us. But all she said was that she did not want to discuss the column and that the great-grandfather should keep his feelings to himself. I said to her, “Mommy, it is better to talk about your feelings. Maybe if you would talk about your past, you would not be so sad all the time.” She just became quiet and said that she is who she is and that she could not change at her age. I even raised the idea of a support group (I had one lined up for her), but she said that she just wants to bury the past and that I should never again bring up this issue.

Even though I don’t know the woman who wrote the letter, I just want to convey to her my hope that she look at the positive side of this situation. She should be grateful that her father is at least talking about his past and that he appears to be taking an active part in his daughter’s and her family’s life. For this she should be happy.

Silence is not always golden. Expressing feelings helps people move on and enjoy their lives. I think Hitler, yimach shemo, did not only kill six million Jews, but also killed my mother’s spirit and denied me the ability to have a normal mother. Thank you for listening, Dr. Respler, and keep up your great work.

A Child of Survivors
 

Dear Child of Survivors:

Thank you for your letter. In life we must always try to find the positive in every situation.

I hope this woman reads your letter and sees another angle to her situation. With respect to your mother, she appears to be clinically depressed. It seems as if she took all the anger she accrued during the war and turned it inward. This might be the cause of her depression. I think you should recommend to your mother that she receive professional help.

About the Author: Letters may be emailed to deardryael@aol.com. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Respler will be on 102.1 FM at 10:00 pm Sunday evenings after Country Yossi.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

2 Responses to “Opening Up About The Holocaust”

  1. As a Holocaust survivor myself I can relate to this problem, to talk or not to talk.
    I resolved my problem with seeking psychiatric help for many years since I suffered with PTS. I was fortunate to become a professional artist where I can express myself freely. I have quite few friends many very young people who regularly visit me. It is the most serene part of my life right now at 89 years of age.
    Shalom
    Holocaust survivor

  2. Margaretha Tierney says:

    Dear people who still suffer. Take your hurts to G-d. Tell Him all you have suffered and still suffer and give them to Him. It is too big for you to continue carrying. It might not seem like He takes them, but once you have actually done it, refuse to listen to the thoughts that come about them — just say, 'They don't belong to me any more. G-d has taken them from me.' Then purposely do something to take your mind from them. Every time they come to mind, direct your attention elsewhere while acknowledging that they do not belong to you any more. Say these words out loud. After a while the 'enemy' will leave you alone. Direct your attention to the goodness of our G-d and ask Him to give you His joy. Nehemiah 8 verse 10.

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Tunnel in the Kaiserburg
Nazi Gold Train Discovery May Bring New Claims from Holocaust Survivors
Latest Sections Stories
South-Florida-logo

The flag had been taken down in the aftermath of the Charleston shooting and was now back and flying.

South-Florida-logo

A light breakfast of coffee and danishes will be available during the program.

South-Florida-logo

A variety of glatt kosher food will be available for purchase at Kosher Korner (near Section 1).

South-Florida-logo

Jewish Press South Florida Editor Shelley Benveniste will deliver a talk.

Corey Brier, corresponding secretary of the organization, introduced the rabbi.

The magnificent 400-seat sanctuary with beautiful stained glass windows, a stunning carved glass Aron Kodesh, a ballroom, social hall, and beis medrash will accommodate the growing synagogue.

Even when our prayers are ignored and troubles confront us, Rabbi Shoff teaches that it is the same God who sent the difficulties as who answered our prayers before.

I’ve put together some of the most frequently asked questions regarding bullies, friendship and learning disabilities.

His parents make it clear that they feel the right thing is for Avi to visit his grandfather, but they leave it up to him.

There is a rich Jewish history in this part of the world. Now the hidden customs are being revealed, as many seek to reconnect with their roots.

There are times when a psychiatrist will over-medicate, which is why it’s important to find a psychiatrist whom you trust and feel comfortable with.

On November 22, 1963, Abraham Zapruder created one of the most famous, and valuable, pieces of film and became forever linked with one of the greatest American national tragedies when he stood with his camera on an elevated concrete abutment as President John F. Kennedy’s motorcade passed through Dealey Plaza in Dallas. Exhibited here is […]

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-082815

There are times when a psychiatrist will over-medicate, which is why it’s important to find a psychiatrist whom you trust and feel comfortable with.

Respler-082115

Dr. Yael Respler is taking a well-deserved vacation this week and asked Eilon Even-Esh to share some thoughts with her readers in her stead.

My husband is a great guy and very loving – except when things don’t go his way.

A great portion of mental illness stems from a defect in the body.

Personally I wish that I had a mother like my wife.

Why should any girl deserve to end up with a guy who can’t even think straight?

Women don’t often realize they are being abused, especially if the abuse is emotional rather than physical.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/opening-up-about-the-holocaust/2014/01/31/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: