web analytics
April 27, 2015 / 8 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Is My Child An Addict?

Schild-Edwin

The third thing we have to remember is that an addict is a liar. Addicts will say anything to hide their addiction and take any action to mask the problem.  In my opinion, most of the time they don’t even realize they are lying, they just say whatever they think we want to hear. The problem is we are wired to hate lying and liars, which causes us to react as soon as we realize we are being lied to.  We get angry, disappointed, frustrated, etc.  We have to learn to look behind the lying.  In most cases the child is suffering from low self-esteem, feels guilty and doesn’t know how to handle being caught in a lie.  When confronting the child, it’s best to not get into a debate, but simply say, “My eyes see what I see and my ears hear much better than my eyes.” Arguments of right and wrong, using or not using never go anywhere productive.  Confrontations in the midst of strong emotions are also doomed to failure.

The fourth thing is scary: Is my child a criminal?  Of course, the answer is dependent on what the child is doing. Is he doing something illegal?  Is he making purchases online without your consent and maybe even using your credit card without permission?  Is cyber bulling involved in his activities?  Like Josh, is the child missing for long periods of time and putting himself in compromising safety situations?

The fifth thing is asking whether your child is losing friends:  Addiction to technology, whether the child is using a computer, tablet or cell phone, often results in him or her becoming more isolated and spending less time socializing with others.  This is a problem at any age, as children learn by socializing and spending time with adults and their peers.

The sixth is noticing that the child is getting very little physical activity.  Lack of outdoor activities and play with other children prevents necessary social skills from being learned.  In addition, childhood obesity is an increasing problem. That being said, video games can occasionally be educational, fun and exciting. In fact, gaming can improve eye-hand coordination and may foster positive social interactions when played with other children. It also allows children with little athletic interest or ability to compete and form friendships with like-minded gamers.  Once again, technology isn’t innately bad, but the amount of time spent using it needs to be controlled.

Research has shown that children spend, on average, close to an hour a day playing games.  This number increases drastically if a child’s video-game console is in his or her bedroom. As we said, parents need to do what’s appropriate for the child’s age and ask themselves if they are relying too much on handheld games to keep their children quiet during long car trips or on long, unstructured days.

Another factor is that children with certain disorders, like those with ADHD, are attracted to video games.  A child who’s bothered by distractibility in the real world may be capable of intense focus, or hyper-focus, while playing. And hyperactivity is not a problem: a child can hold the controllers and stand or pace back and forth in front of the TV as he plays.

Obviously we have only just begun a discussion.  There are many factors at play when a child uses technology as either an escape or a means to gain some sense of expertise to build self-esteem.

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

One Response to “Is My Child An Addict?”

  1. It's too bad video-games, the most immersive and engaging of all the artistic mediums, can't be used more for education and training. With that said, we're only a couple generations away from having something almost as immersive as The Matrix but with a focus on fantasy and gratification, it will be far more addictive than any drug because it will feed so many appetites.

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
IAF F-16B Fighter Jet
Reports: IAF Strikes Syrian/Hezbollah Targets Overnight
Latest Sections Stories
Food-Talk---Eller-logo

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

South-Florida-logo

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

South-Florida-logo

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

The teenage years are not about surviving. They are about thriving.

Every moment was a gift. I held each one, savoring.

We arrived in Auschwitz on Thursday, January 30, 2014. My seminary was taking us to see where the prisoners were kept. When we got there, I stepped off the bus in complete and total silence. I was in the back, and when we got to the gate I hesitated and started shaking uncontrollably. I couldn’t […]

From the moment Israel was declared a Jewish state, it has been the subject of controversy and struggle.

Now that Pesach is over, we return you to your regularly-scheduled pressing questions:   Dear Mordechai, Can I use a nose hair trimmer during Sefirah? Harry Lipman   Dear Harry, Yes, as long as your nose hairs are so bad that they’re affecting your job. Like if you have a desk job, and they interfere […]

It is very natural for kids to want attention and to be jealous of each other, especially when there is a new baby.

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.

More Articles from Edwin Schild
Schild-Edwin

Interestingly, sometimes people who have a very high self-awareness may experience intense reactions to circumstances that others might respond to more mildly.

Schild-Edwin

We define stress as the feeling we get when there is too much to do and too little time to do it in.

I’d like to share some valuable insights that, with clear and meaningful understanding, will have a tremendous impact on our family’s future

Josh is only nine years old, yet he’s an addict. How is that possible? You’re wondering where he gets his drugs from, how does his addiction manifest itself and if there are treatment plans.

often find myself telling clients, “There is no such thing as emotions!” Then I wait for their reactions. My hope is that the client will challenge me, as obviously we all experience emotions. It’s the way we are wired.

In Part I talked about celebrating 30 years of Regesh Family and Child Services providing services to children, teens and families. I shared the agency’s origin and the many lessons I have learned through this journey. As I mentioned, it is my hope that my experiences will add to your toolbox of life skills.

As I look back, it is clear that I learned much as an administrator and therapist – and as an individual experiencing life. I hope you will stay with me as I reminisce.

I know what you are thinking. What possible situation could cause a professional to advise a parent to “Pray hard that your children ignore you”?

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/is-my-child-an-addict/2014/02/28/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: