United Hatzalah program honors our survivors, war veterans with specialized medical care
Nothing could be further from the truth. Not only have the atheists heard the Intelligent Design argument, they say they’re tired of hearing it. They adamantly refuse to admit that design is proof of a Designer. Nothing in my FFB upbringing could prepare me for the likes of these people.
Oh the countless failed attempts to get out of this mess! The denial. I’m strong. I can control myself. I can limit my time on the computer if I make up my mind. Yeah sure.
Another great idea – I’ll have someone in the family hide the USB cable somewhere out of the house, and if I have some “valid” reason to go online, I’ll get online at the library maybe once a week. (We don’t have wireless Internet access.) I didn’t know where that wire was hidden. Maybe in the car? I didn’t want to know.
It didn’t work. Maybe it didn’t work because it was too hard to wait a week to continue my all important e-mail correspondences. Maybe it was too hard to shlep down to the library every time I felt I had some very important reason to get online.
Whatever the reason, inevitably the cable was back in our home computer, and I was back at my habit. It went on this way for years. Finally something happened that saved my life. The yeshuah came in the form of good news. A close family member, someone I care about, someone I was worried about, finally stopped smoking. I had to do something to thank Hashem. I had to take something upon myself – some new improvement to show my gratitude.
What could I do? What should I take on? The thought was loud and persistent. “If Yosef (not his real name) can quit smoking, you can quit the Internet.”
The inner conflict began. “No you can’t stop going online! You know how many times you tried to stay offline. Forget it!”
“Yes, I can stop going online. That’s it. I’m not going online anymore.”
This time my commitment was different. This time my commitment was to Hashem, not just to myself. I owed something to Hashem now. (Not that I didn’t owe Hashem anything before.)
The USB cable was removed from the computer for the last time. Somehow I never asked for it back. And somehow I managed to control myself even when I went to the library. I’d see the many people with their faces glued to the computer screen. I felt sorry for them. I was free now. They were still in prison. I could just go off now to that nice comfortable chair in the library and read a book.
It’s been about a year now. Did I ever cheat? To be honest, yes, sort of, about 3 or 4 times that I can remember. For example, about a year ago on Tisha B’av I allowed myself to watch a Project Inspire video online, while someone sat in the room as my shomer. The other times that I remember were also relatively innocent – not that these lapses are justified.
What has my new offline life been like? Life goes on as usual. I’m so busy during the day, I have no time to think – I’m just too busy living life. How I twiddled away so many hours online with all I have to do, I’ll never know! But when I stop to think about my new life, I guess I would describe it in one word – freedom. Freedom from the daily grind of deleting junk mail. Freedom from getting my head caught in stranger’s problems. Freedom from apikorsus. Now instead of sitting for hours looking into a computer screen, I can sit on my lawn and feel the fresh air and look around at the beautiful trees. Real-life fresh air and real-life trees. In short, baruch Hashem, I’ve been released from prison.
Henia is a freelance writer. She can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org (Henia’s e-mail address is not for social correspondence, but for freelance writing purposes only. Someone else checks her e-mail and responds on her behalf)
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During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]
The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.
The Mets at least have hope for the future with some good young pitchers.
French thinkers of the Enlightenment were generally not pro-Semitic, to say the least.
My Jewish star was battered, indeed it was a wreck
But I picked it up anyway and put it around my neck
To know that hatred mangled it was surely very painful
But just the same to me it is still very beautiful.
A compulsion is a repetitive action. But what underlies the compulsion is an obsession or fear.
When any student in the building is in danger of failing, the equivalent of tornado warning sirens should wail around the school.
It goes without saying that when it comes to your kids, safety is always your number one priority.
After the last of Austria’s Jews were murdered, Albert confiscated whatever Jewish property remained.
How can you expect people who go through such gehenom to even know how to give warmth and love?
What exactly is the definition of an Internet addiction? Just how out of control does one have to be to qualify as having a true addiction?
I was going crazy. I couldn’t stand it another minute. Yes, I was feeling sorry for myself.
I had been blessed, b’li ayin hara, with children very close in age. Surely having one child after the other was a blessing to be grateful for. I knew there were many people who would give a million dollars to have such a “problem.” But still, it was very stressful. But that wasn’t the hardest part, and it wasn’t the main reason for my feelings of despair.
I’d like to believe that I at least have average intelligence. And when in need of inspiration or to learn something to facilitate my personal growth, I gain much from adult tapes and books. I’m greatly inspired by the words of the plethora of writers and speakers who target their words to adult audiences; their sentence structure and vocabulary meant only for us grownups. Their valuable lessons are often arrived at through a series of logical steps any adult with reasonable intelligence should be able to follow. And follow I do.
Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/a-tale-of-a-recovering-internet-addict/2012/08/17/
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