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UN Security Council Emergency Session on Zionist Snow Conspiracy

Sheikh Mohammed Luni Jihad asserted that the Israelis created the snowstorm to punish Palestinians and destroy the Al Asqa Mosque.

looney-tunes security council

The UN Security Council is to convene an emergency session to discuss the heavy snow storm  enveloping Jerusalem. The 58 states who make up the Organization of Islamic Countries demanded the special session because of the untold suffering this is causing to the 200,000 Palestinians living in Jerusalem. In welcoming the move, Baroness Ashton of the EU confirmed that only Palestinian Arabs have been affected by the snow due to the racist ‘security’ wall that separates them from the 650,000 Jewish (illegal) settlers living in Jerusalem.

Speaking from Ramallah the Palestinian Authority’s leading cleric Sheikh Mohammed Luni Jihad asserted that the Israelis created the snowstorm specifically to punish the Palestinians and in particular to destroy the Al Asqa Mosque. While some climate scientists have disputed certain aspects of the Sheikh’s claim, there is universal agreement that this kind of freak snowstorm is due to man-made global warming which is caused mainly by the Zionist control of all the world’s natural resources. Al Gore and David Cameron both confirmed that the ‘science was settled’ for this.

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon was quick to agree to the special security council session, stating that there was no greater tragedy in the world today than the sufferings of the Palestinians, and that the snowstorm was a ‘disproportionate response’ by the Israelis to recent ‘minor’ provocations. The latter reference was to the totally harmless past time of Arab youths in Jerusalem to stone Jewish women and children (which in some cases does not even lead to death or serious injury). US Secretary of State John Kerry warned the Israelis that if the snow storm was allowed to continue – and hence deprive the Palestinian youths of the opportunity to stone Jews – then he would personally support a third intifada. Fortunately the Arab youths have already found inventive ways to express their frustrations in the snow.

Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas was especially scathing in his criticism of the Israelis. He believes the snow storm has been created not just to persecute Palestinians but also to give the Israelis an excuse to delay the release of the next bunch of convicted terrorists earning Masters degrees in Israeli prisons.

Meanwhile on campuses through the western world students mobilized to show their support for the suffering Palestinians. A common theme expressed in protests was that the snow storm was an attempt by the Israelis to ‘whitewash their crimes against humanity’.

The Disasters and Emergencies Committee (DEC) has also launched an emergency appeal to ensure that additional money can be given to the Palestinians to buy tobogans and ski equipment for the terrorists released from prison who are all struggling to survive on an EU-funded salary of just $50,000 per year.

Visit Confronting Antisemitism and Israel Hatred in the UK.

About the Author: Edgar Davidson started blogging in 2005, to protest the blatant anti-Israel bias that permeates every aspect of British society. He always seeks new ways to highlight the hypocrisy of the anti-Israel narrative (he also runs the purely satirical blog Free Palestine Now). Edgar now spends much of his time in Israel, where he has an apartment.

The author's opinion does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Jewish Press.

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8 Responses to “UN Security Council Emergency Session on Zionist Snow Conspiracy”

  1. Then it seems to me that they had better watch their asses. But they need a little practice since they snowed on Zionists too. It was to throw everyone off the trail!!!! How are the drugs in the PA? The sheyk should report on that.

  2. Gil Gilman says:

    This is what y'all get for taking these blokes seriously.

  3. Looney Tunes are always right. It is the Zionists who caused the snow storm .

  4. Les Le Gear says:

    Hey many christians still blame the Jews for killing their god. Passéd down for the past couple thousand years. Also pretty looney.

  5. Yechiel Baum says:

    if they don't like the snow in jersualem, then send them back to Eygpt to enjoy the ten plagues that our Hashem sent to them. It is not the jews that made the snow but Hashem. Apparently their pagan gods did nothing for their worshippers while Hashem protected us.

  6. yes. we do that when we get annoyed. severely annoyed.

  7. The world has gon crazy. the amount of idiots are increasing from the US to the UN to the EU and well of cause the Muslims…… They are the best

  8. The world has gon crazy. the amount of idiots are increasing from the US to the UN to the EU and well of cause the Muslims…… They are the best

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