web analytics
April 28, 2015 / 9 Iyar, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Discourage Tattling, Encourage Tootling

Schonfeld-logo1

“Mommy, Chava is doing it again!” Basya yelled up the stairs.

Nechama sighed, “Doing what again?” Nechama was not sure what was next. Was Chava writing with crayons on the wall? Was she pulling Basya’s hair? Was she throwing her food? Nechama hoped it was none of the above, but what distressed her more was that she did not want Basya to tattle. From experience, Nechama knew that tattling just snowballed out of control in their house.

“She’s clearing off her plate without you asking her to! Just like she did yesterday. Isn’t that great?” Basya said with mounting enthusiasm.

Nechama smiled. It was so nice to hear one of her children telling her about something good that the other one was doing for a change.

“Yes, Basya. It is wonderful. It’s also amazing that you are telling me about it. That’s perfect. I’m coming right down to finish loading the dishwasher,” Nechama answered.

* * * * *

We all know that kids love tattling on one another, letting you know when a sibling or classmate did something wrong. While this type of peer pressure can discourage children from misbehaving, it also creates a negative environment in the classroom and home. Children often feel like their siblings or classmates are “out to get” them.

Recently, I have become interested in a new classroom-based intervention to combat tattling and turn it on its head. This technique is called “tootling.” Instead of children reporting negative behaviors to the teacher or parent, they learn to report positive, pro-social activities. The goal of tootling is not only to reduce negative interactions, but also to encourage children to be aware of positive actions in themselves and others.

There are several reasons why children tattle:

Lack of information. Some children tattle because they want to know if the teacher or parent will enforce the rules.

Attention-seeking. Children who want attention will often tattle on others to get their teacher or parent to notice them. Instead of acting out, they choose to tattle and get the attention that way.

Limited problem-solving skills. When children do not know how to handle the problem themselves, they approach someone older to help them figure out.

Legitimate concerns. Dangerous, destructive, or illegal activity should always be reported.

In order to combat the many reasons that tattling takes place, incorporate tootling into your home or classroom. The focus goes from the negative to the positive – and helps children cultivate problem-solving skills, provides them with information, and allows them to gain attention for the right reason.

Why Tootling Works

Reporting on other’s positive actions can inspire the reporter to emulate those good deeds. In addition, if others report on a child’s positive actions, that child is more likely to repeat them. And finally, those repeated actions will become habit or routine.

Implementing Tootling in the Classroom

Training Session – a class session is set aside to explain to the students what the tootling process is. Students are taught how to appropriately report positive peer behavior. They are not allowed to report on their own behaviors. They are given clear examples of tootling such as:

* Ruchie lent me a piece of paper.

* I dropped my book and Yossi picked it up.

* Someone was leaving me out at recess and Shayna included me.

* Nochum shared his lunch with me because I forgot mine.

* Baruch let me go ahead of him at the water fountain.

* Yehudah gave Chaim an extra try at handball today.

* Riva helped me with rhyming in my poem for English.

* Bayla showed Sarah how to jump rope while skipping.

* Students are then encouraged to give their own examples of tootling.

Index Cards. Once the students understand the concept of tootling, the teacher passes out index card that will be taped to their desks to record tootles. A correct tootle states: The name of the helper, the name of the person who was helped, and the positive behavior. For example: a. Ruchie b. Me c. Lent me a piece of paper.

The students are instructed to fill out their index cards quietly throughout the day.

About the Author: An acclaimed educator and education consultant, Mrs. Rifka Schonfeld has served the Jewish community for close to thirty years. She founded and directs the widely acclaimed educational program, SOS, servicing all grade levels in secular as well as Hebrew studies. A kriah and reading specialist, she has given dynamic workshops and has set up reading labs in many schools. In addition, she offers evaluations G.E.D. preparation,, social skills training and shidduch coaching, focusing on building self-esteem and self-awareness. She can be reached at 718-382-5437 or at rifkaschonfeld@verizon.net. Visit her on the web at rifkaschonfeldsos.com.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

One Response to “Discourage Tattling, Encourage Tootling”

  1. Karen Berger says:

    What a fantastic idea!

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
The Highlandtown neighborhood in Baltimore city is directly in the path of violent rioters.
State of Emergency Declared in Spreading Baltimore Riots
Latest Sections Stories
Teens-Twenties-logo

The poetry slam required entrants to compose original poetry with powerful imagery and energetic rhythm bringing their poems to life – making it palpable to the audience.

Teens-Twenties-logo

“I was so inspired by the beautiful lessons I learned and by the holiness around me that I just couldn’t stop writing songs!” she says.

Schonfeld-logo1

But Pi Day is worst of all
I want the extra credit bad
But trying to remember many numbers
makes me sad.

Several thousand Eastern European Jews had escaped Nazi death and Soviet persecution by fleeing to Shanghai, China.

Now that we’re back to chometz, it’s just the right time to give thought to our wellbeing. Who doesn’t want to lose a few bulky matzah-and-potato pounds? Who wouldn’t like to eat smarter and feel better? If you’re like most people I know, these are probably the first things you’d like to address. It’s time […]

My mother-in-law and I have had our problems since the beginning of my marriage.

It was Lia van Leer who changed the image of filmmaking in Israel so that it is now seen as an expression of culture and not mere entertainment.

“People who never buy cookbooks are getting this one,” said Victoria. “They read it cover to cover and find it so interesting.”

We have recently witnessed how other minorities deal with even perceived danger aimed at their brothers and sisters. They respond in great numbers.

The Hebrew Academy students took part in all categories and used successful and innovative techniques to achieve their goals.

“The objective behind establishing small communities as places for relocation was a remedy for the excessive cost of housing and education in the large New York metropolitan market,” Mr. Savitsky explained.

Jewish Democrats did not entirely trust the son of Joseph Kennedy, a man broadly considered to be both anti-Semitic and pro-Nazi.

More Articles from Rifka Schonfeld
Schonfeld-logo1

But Pi Day is worst of all
I want the extra credit bad
But trying to remember many numbers
makes me sad.

Schonfeld-logo1

The teenage years are not about surviving. They are about thriving.

She wasn’t paying attention to what the child did when the mother was not in the room. Rather, her main focus was on what the child did when the mother returned.

When any student in the building is in danger of failing, the equivalent of tornado warning sirens should wail around the school.

“If you don’t stand straight, you’ll never get a husband.”

A lot of people have heard about dyslexia, a learning disability that concerns reading.

Because birth order can affect most children in similar fashion, there are things you can do to help your children overcome weaknesses that birth order has thrown their way.

Occasionally, a teacher will encounter a student who simply cannot be motivated to do his homework, finish his worksheet or study for a test.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/discourage-tattling-encourage-tootling/2013/10/18/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: