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December 6, 2016 / 6 Kislev, 5777

Posts Tagged ‘CHILDREN’

Government to Reveal Lost Yemenite Children 2001 Committee Findings

Saturday, November 12th, 2016

The Netanyahu cabinet on Sunday is expected to approve the revelation of the findings of a 2001 state committee investigation of the disappearance of the children of Yemenite immigrants who arrived in Israel between 1948 and 1954. The proposal to expose the findings was initiated by Justice Minister Ayelet Shaked (Habayit Hayehudi), and MK Nurit Koren (Likud), who petitioned Prime Minister Netanyahu to appoint a minister-level official to examine the issue.

In May, Netanyahu appointed Minister Tzachi Hanegbi (Likud), whose mother, former MK Geula Cohen (Likud and Tehiya), is herself Yemenite. Now, as Hanegbi has concluded his examination, with the help of the state archivist and the Government Freedom of Information Unit of the Justice Ministry, the publication of the committee’s report will be voted on by the cabinet, and followed by a vote of the Knesset Constitution Committee.

According to the proposal, the classified protocols of the 2001 Cohen-Kedmi Committee, which began its investigations in 1995. This followed bloody clashes in Passover of 1994, between the followers of Yemenite Rabbi Uzi Meshulam and police. The Meshulam followers were barricaded in the rabbi’s Yahud home  for 52 days, until police raided the place, aided by snipers and helicopters. One man was killed in the clashes.

The government-appointed committee heard more than 850 testimonies in those seven years, 27 of which remain classified. The committee’s findings were issued in 2001 in a 1,828-page report. Regarding 979 missing babies, the committee concluded that they had concrete evidence that they had died, just as hospital staffs were telling their newcomer parents. But the committee said it had not been able to find evidence on 69 missing babies, and raised the possibility that they had been given to adopting parents by social workers, without consent or even knowledge of their biological parents.

At the time, the government placed a gag order on the content of the committee’s protocols until the year 2071, with the rationale of wishing to avoid additional pain to the parties involved. The proposal the cabinet is expected to approve on Sunday conditions the revelation of specific cases of illegal adoptions on the consent of the adopted person in question. Considering the fact that they are now in their sixties and even seventies, every such revelation will likely touch the lives of dozens of individuals.

Justice Minster Shaked said in a statement that “there is a major public interest in revealing this affair, and to exposing as many of the details as possible. The era of hiding information is over in this country.”

JNi.Media

The Intensity of Gifted Children: Pros And Cons

Monday, November 7th, 2016

Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained – Marie Curie

 

Raising a gifted child? You’re so lucky, right? Actually, sometimes it’s extra hard to raise a gifted child. Celi Trepanier, the author of Educating Your Gifted Child, created a checklist of information those people parenting or teaching gifted children should know. I’ve included the top five issues people should be aware of:

            Gifted students do not always excel in school. While many gifted children are high achievers and excel in school, many others are bored, unchallenged, or dealing with co-existing learning disabilities. This means that even though gifted students are very bright, we cannot always expect them to succeed in school.

            Gifted children often have emotional intensities. Along with higher than average intelligence, gifted children often have stronger than average emotions; they can be passionate and intense.

            Gifted children can be extremely sensitive. That emotional intensity (#2) works hand-in-hand with extreme sensitivity. Children who are gifted can be very sensitive to sensory issues such as smells and sensations as well as negative comments or criticism.

            Gifted children can have learning disabilities. Students who are both gifted and have learning disabilities are often called “twice exceptional.” Children can have both above average intelligence and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or Sensory Processing Disorder.

            Gifted children can struggle socially. They are not always interested in the conversations or hobbies of their peers and will therefore stand apart. In addition, sometimes they excessively correct the people around them, leading to resentment and frustration.

 

Now What?

So, what can we do with this information? What do you do as a parent or teacher of a gifted child? Christine Fonseca, the author of several nonfiction and fiction titles, recently published Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students: Helping Kids Cope with Explosive Feelings. The main focus of her book is helping gifted children who struggle with their emotions.

 

In her introduction she notes,

Parenting is a difficult job. You aren’t given a manual when you have a child and there’s no survival guide to tell you what to do. Things complicate further if your child is lucky enough to be gifted. People tell you it’ll be easy raising a bright child, leaving you frustrated when your child begins to act a little… intense.

Fortunately, there are parenting books to help – too many parenting books.

Most of these books don’t address the unique needs of gifted children. In fact, as you attempt the strategies typically found in them, things often get worse…

As the negative feelings build, your child increases the intensity of her behaviors, adding fuel to the fire. The result? A chaotic household with few resources available to help.

That’s where this book comes in. Designed to provide support for the difficult job of parenting gifted children, “Emotional Intensity in Gifted Students: Helping Kids Cope with Explosive Feelings” provides the resource you need to not only understand why gifted children are so extreme in their behavior, but also learn specific strategies to teach your children how to live with their intensity.

We might think that it is easy to parent gifted children, but in reality, parenting gifted children can be a struggle until we figure out how to manage and direct all of their special characteristics.

 

Tips for Helping Your Gifted Child Deal with Emotional Intensity

Now that we understand why we need a separate guide for parenting gifted children, what are the steps parents can take to help those children manage their emotions? How can we make life easier and more enjoyable for the whole family?

            Help your child talk about his emotions. When we help children develop an emotional vocabulary, we can transform raw feelings into a tangible thing. This is the first step in learning to control those very raw emotions.

            Recognize (and help him recognize) his escalation cycle. Most children have a pattern in terms of what sets them off and how they get riled up. When we can point these patterns out to the child, he can start to recognize his behavior and stop himself before he gets out of control.

            Create a plan. After you have identified the escalation cycle, the two of you can work on a plan for what your child can do when he is overwhelmed. These can be relaxation techniques or exercises to distract from the cycle.

            Don’t get emotional yourself. If your child does get caught up in the emotional intensity and cannot stop the escalation, be sure to keep your emotions neutral and stay calm.

            Take a time out. Both you and your children can take breaks from each other in order to create distance from the emotional outbreaks.

            Emphasize the behavior you want to see. Rather than talking incessantly about the negative behavior that your child is exhibiting, talk about the positive behaviors that you would like your child to engage in. The more attention you pay to the positive, the more it will be on your child’s mind.

Just remember, intensity is a great thing! It’s passion and enthusiasm and lifelong engagement. As parents and teachers, we just need to ensure that we direct that energy towards positive endeavors.

Rifka Schonfeld

Israel Warns Google, Apple: New Game on Gaza War Could Endanger IDF Soldiers

Tuesday, November 1st, 2016

Public Security Minister Gilad Erdan has called on Apple and Google to remove a new “free to play” game from their online stores, called “Liyla and the Shadows of War.”

The minister contends that the mobile app is being used to incite players to kill IDF soldiers, by having them take on the role of a girl in Gaza during the 2014 war between Israel and Hamas, ‘Operation Protective Edge.’

The Israel Defense Forces are seen as “the bad guy” in the game, and are portrayed as particularly cruel and filled with murderers.

Erdan has warned both Google and Apple that the game could endanger the lives of IDF soldiers became of the incitement it generates. But neither company has responded to his concern.

Gaza resident Rasheed Abueida, the creator of the game, says it’s based on “actual events” and calls it a “cry for help.”

The promotional kicker line on the game’s website says, “When you live in a war zone and death is hunting everyone, things will look different and choices become harder. Face your fate in an unjust war to survive with your family from the shadows of war.”

Reviewer Rami Ismail, co-founder of Vlambeer, is quoted on the site as saying, “Liyla is a brave personal game about the invasion of Gaza, both an exploration of what games can communicate and a plea for help from someone actually affected by the reality the game sketches.”

Abueida explains on the site that he made the game because he is a father of two children, and “I can’t imagine my life without them, but in Palestine nobody is safe.

“When the war started in Gaza and I saw the images of the killed kids in their parents hands I was shocked, I had a weird feeling, it’s a combination of sadness, fear, empathy and anger. All what I was thinking of is ‘What if this happened to me.’ I have chosen to share those feelings in a game to deliver a message of how we are living as Palestinians under this situation. It’s not just a Game, it’s a case and call for help.”

The game won the Reboot Develop Indie Award in the category of “Visual Excellence,” according to the website.

Under “Resources” the site lists the Human Rights Watch “World Report 2015: Israel/Palestine Events of 2014” and the “Gaza Emergency Situation Report” released by the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (UNOCHA).

Neither was an example of professional objectivity.

Also listed is a link to ABC News, which leads to an article by Middle East correspondent Matt Brown, beginning with the sentence, “An Israeli military spokesman says the Israeli Defence Force (IDF) should have been able to tell that four boys it killed on a Gaza beach last week were not Hamas operatives.”

There are also two videos on the page, one from Qatar-based Aljazeera, “Israeli strike kills children on Gaza beach,” and the other, a 67-second report from a Palestinian Authority-generated news source, TOMO, “Israel-Gaza conflict: another UN school hit by Israel, at least 16 dead.”

“Facts” are graphic images of the war that are part of the game. The game uses sounds from freesounds.org, and the melodic music, “Cold” by Jorge Mendez.

The skewed way in which so many residents of Gaza and the rest of the Palestinian Authority view the events of the summer of 2014 is displayed in all its tragedy and misery in this game.

The biggest tragedy of all is the destruction caused by the vicious Hamas leaders of Gaza who used them all as human shields, who forced them into bloodshed and war, and who then prevented them from fleeing to safety even when Israel did its best to allow them safe passage out of the combat zones.

It is Hamas who has misdirected and outright stolen their supplies to create more instruments of war, rather than the homes and hospitals and neighborhoods for which they were intended. And it is Hamas who has held them hostage and prevented them from doing anything else with their lives, other than working as slaves for the cause of hatred and death, from the very youngest ages to the grave, sometimes in a collapsed tunnel, and sometimes in a teenage attempt to murder a Jew.

“Sadness, fear, empathy and anger?”

Understandable, and matched by the endless frustration of those on the other side of the security barrier who have done everything possible to create the reality of a reasonable co-existence with their Arab neighbors.

Hana Levi Julian

Seven Tips To Manage Anxiety In Children

Friday, October 21st, 2016

I want life to be easier for Jake. He’s an exact replica of me. I was the kid who always had a stomachache, always worried about doing something wrong, kept thinking I was going to get in trouble – and, of course, I never, ever did. I was the model child. He’s always on edge, looking around at what other kids are doing, making sure he’s not doing anything different. He’s only five years old. Why can’t he relax like the other kids? It kills me.

Sarah has never been a worrier; she was always my confident straight-A student, but suddenly she has become paralyzed with fear about everything. She is hesitant to try anything new, she’s doubting her abilities, she second-guesses everything. It’s heartbreaking – we don’t know what happened to our girl, and we don’t know how to get her back.

The above scenarios are two of many in Dr. Tamar Chansky’s book Freeing Your Child from Anxiety. Below, I’ve outlined the different types of anxiety that children can experience:

            Panic disorder: This is accompanied by panic attacks, which include feelings of fear and dread that come with no warning. Those feelings are associated with sweating, chest pain, irregular heartbeats, and trouble breathing. Many times, these panic attacks are mistaken for heart attacks by the sufferer.

            Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): The World Health Organization estimates that around 2.5% of the world’s population, ranging from children to senior citizens, is affected by OCD, an anxiety disorder. Evidence is strong that OCD tends to run in families. Of course, having a genetic tendency for OCD does not mean people will develop it, but it does mean there is a greater chance.

Dr. Elana Pearl Ben-Joseph of the Emours Center for Children’s Health Media states that people “with OCD become preoccupied with whether something could be harmful, dangerous, wrong, or dirty – or with thoughts about bad stuff that might happen. With OCD, upsetting or scary thoughts or images, called obsessions, pop into a person’s mind and are hard to shake.”

            Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): PTSD involves anxiety and stress about traumatic events in one’s past. This disorder frequently occurs after violent personal assaults, such as mugging, domestic violence, terrorism, natural disasters or accidents. Children who experienced an extremely disturbing event might subsequently develop generalized anxiety. PTSD is often triggered by sounds, smells, or sights that remind the sufferer of the trauma.

 

Some symptoms of PTSD include:
Anger and irritability
Guilt, shame, or self-blame
Substance abuse
Depression and hopelessness
Feeling alienated and alone
Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
Headaches, stomach problems, chest pain

 

            Social Phobia: Social phobia is characterized by an overwhelming fear when confronted with social situations. Those with social phobia have a strong fear of being judged by others or publicly embarrassed. They might be afraid of doing common things in front of other people – for example, eating or drinking in front of other people, or ordering a drink at a coffee shop. Generally, this condition is diagnosed in children when they start school, but it can be interpreted as shyness and only get diagnosed later in life.

            Generalized Anxiety Disorder: This is the least specific, but perhaps one of the most prevalent. People with generalized anxiety disorder feel severe tension and worry even when there is little or nothing to provoke that fear.

 

Chansky suggests seven steps to overcoming anxiety:

            Empathize. We always want to tell our children, “There’s nothing to worry about,” but if our children are worrying, it will help them to know that we understand they are afraid and we can see things from their perspective. We might know that there is nothing to worry about, but it will help our children if we can see things through their eyes for a moment.

            Reframe the problem. Dr. Chansky has some great techniques for helping children relabel the worry. Instead of always listening to the messages from what Dr. Chansky calls “the worry brain,” children can learn to filter those messages and reframe them. This is something that we work on in my six-week program for helping children succeed in school.

            Shrink down to size. Once we acknowledge and reframe the worry, we can “fact-check” it. Help your child think rationally about whether the actual event lives up to the fear that it is producing.

            Turn off the alarms. Our bodies sound the alarm when we are anxious: we sweat, our hearts race, our face get hot, we feel dizzy. Children need to learn relaxation techniques to manage those physical reactions, for example, deep breathing or meditation.

            Practice dealing with the worry. The more you are exposed to worries (with the tools to deal with them), the better equipt you will be when real worries come your way. In order to prevent children from becoming overwhelmed, build up their “worry management muscles” when the stakes are low.

            Move forward. Help your child get unstuck. When he or she is stuck in a worry, figure out another activity to take his or her mind off of it. Physical activities are often best because they involve both the body and the brain.

            Positive reinforcement. Compliment or reward your child when he or she is courageous and fights through the worry. This will encourage calm in the future.

Anxiety can be crippling, especially in the first months of school. Give your child the tools he needs in order to fight the worry and succeed!

 

Register now for a Social Thinking workshop by Michelle Garcia Winner on November 16. Please call Mrs. Schonfeld at 718-382-5437 for more information.

Rifka Schonfeld

Eulogies by Shimon Peres’ Three Children

Friday, September 30th, 2016

Eulogy by Yoni Peres

So much has already been said and written about this giant of a man – Shimon Peres, statesman, intellectual and visionary. Words cannot adequately describe what he did for the State of Israel, the Jewish people and humanity.

However, today I would like to bid farewell to my father.

I was born and raised in a reality quite different from today.

Israel was a tiny, young country faced with formidable challenges.

That is why father decided to dedicate his life to the country and its people. My sister, my brother and I were raised with great devotion by our beloved mother, Sonia, of blessed memory.

As a child, I was privileged to observe and listen in amazement to his conversations with writers, poets, artists and intellectuals. Despite the many hurdles and difficulties along the way, he persevered and achieved great things.

Father considered himself shy, even though he was always under the spotlight. I must have inherited that trait from him. We had a deep and special bond. Despite his many absences, he always took a loving interest in us, even from great distances. He helped me through hard times, and I tried to be at his side too in difficult times, to help him even though he had enormous reserves of inner strength.

My father was very sensitive and caring towards all people. He wasn’t ruled by his ego, he treated everyone as an equal and was always attentive, interested and supportive.

He loved his family dearly, and with all the new members that joined us.

In recent years, he basked in the love of millions in Israel and the world. What a sight it was to see.

When asked what he would like to have inscribed on his tombstone after death, he said, without hesitation, “He was too young to die.” Indeed, my dear father, this is how I feel – you left us prematurely. There is so much more you could have done.

I bid you farewell with love and longing. May you rest in peace.

 

Eulogy by Prof. Tzvika Walden

My father had a long and good life.

Today, I bid farewell to two people:

Peres – Shimon, his Excellency, that is Mr. President.

And I say goodbye to the man my mother called Buzhik, and I called father, grandfather and great-grandfather.

The first was Peres of the state, of the people, the citizen of the world. Others will eulogize that Peres. I will share a few private moments.

The world will remember the determined Peres who never stopped, who kept running despite the obstacles, and despite the falls along the way. I will remember him during this past year at Friday-night dinners at our home, when he was the first to rise for Kiddush, holding the booklet with the Shabbat songs printed in tiny letters, trying to make out the words of the songs through his thick lenses, never skipping a word, singing at the top of his lungs.

He was described as a great negotiator, as someone who always found a way to get what he wanted. To me he was a young man who used his creative skills to get us to eat. Who cut sandwiches into triangles and diamonds. Try this. It’s a Burmese sandwich. My father pulled out all the creative stops, and used every trick of the trade to tempt us to open our mouths and eat and grow.

In the eyes of the public he will be remembered as one who dined with kings.

I remember him at the table of a French restaurant, when he whispered in my ear, it’s tastes good, but nothing compares to your mother’s salad. To him, Israel’s cucumbers and tomatoes were the finest of delicacies.

There were those who considered him an adventurer, someone who rushed to adopt every innovation.

But when I got married and decided to take the name Valden, it took him almost a year to come to terms with the idea. Whenever I came home, he would announce: Sonia, look who’s here, Mrs. Valden,” as pleased as punch.

He will be remembered as an elegant, well-dressed man, always well groomed, who would take a small comb from his pocket to smooth his hair. At home when we were arranging books on the shelves, and he was dressed only in khaki shorts and an undershirt, a knock was heard at the door. It’s okay, I said, it’s Rafi, but he being the complete gentleman that he was, hurried to the bedroom to put on a shirt.

Much has been said about his forbearance and infinite patience. He measured long and short on a timeline of two thousand years of history when weighing the state of the nation, but in nanoseconds when waiting for a text to be printed. He was ready with his new corrections even before the ink was dry. A day after lending me a book, he was astonished to learn that I had not yet finished reading it.

My father had a long and good life.

And all those years he was a man in love:

In love with Sonia – We were just about to dedicate Sonia House – a wellness center for the children of the Ben Shemen Youth Village, where they first met and fell in love.

Mother believed that every injustice in the world could be corrected  and was always there to listen, support and help.

Father admired this trait in her.

My father had a long and good life.

And all those years he was a man in love:

In love with his family, with the people of Israel, with the State of Israel,

A man who loved life in the present and was in love with the promise of the future.

My father, you were a lover of life, who sprung like a lion at daybreak to fulfill his mission.

For so long, I tried to catch up with you.

But now, heed my loving words, you have earned a well-deserved rest.

 

Eulogy by Chemi Peres

Farewell words to my dear father

We believe our father would have wanted us to say a few words in English to all of you who traveled from across the world to join us at this devastating moment, as we say goodbye and pay tribute to a special man who we all loved dearly.

He would have wanted us to thank you all for your friendship to him and to our people.

We believe that if he could he would have used this opportunity to remind us all that the role of leaders today is to serve their people and that there is no greater responsibility and no greater privilege than that.

He saw in all of you leaders, friends and partners in his quest for peace. We will treasure his memory and honor his legacy. And on a personal note let we switch to Hebrew

My dear beloved Father,

Today I am accompanying you on your last journey, to your eternal rest, in the National Cemetery on Mount Herzl, named for the visionary of the State.

In one of your many books, you accompanied Herzl on a wonderful imaginary journey to a new land. You were privileged to be one of Israel’s founding fathers. As indeed you were, your entire life. A visionary, a pioneer, a doer, who made his dreams come true.

You kept your promise to your beloved grandfather, when you bid him farewell on your first stop on the way to the Land of Israel.

You never forgot what it means to a Jew. And I promise you that neither will I. No one can continue to pave your path instead of you, but many follow in your footsteps, each according to their own way and conviction. And I am one of them, as best I can.

I had the great privilege to be one of your three children, and the father of three of your grandchildren: Nadav, Guy and Yael. We are the children and grandchildren of your and the love of your life, our dear beloved mother, Sonia.

Your parting words to her when she left us are engraved on our hearts: “I fell in love with you on the first day we met, I’ll love you till my last day on earth.” Your love was the first and greatest gift you gave me, my wife Gila and our three children. I have carried the love you both instilled in me from the day I was born, as will my wife and children, forever.

In the last ten years of your life, as President of the State of Israel and President of the Peres Center for Peace, our family grew closer than ever. Our oldest son Nadav made sure that we made the most of every minute with you. He patiently taught you that the news can be recorded, so that we could spend more time together. We were so happy that you got to know and love his girlfriend Noam, who is from Ben Shemen, with whom you shared your love of books and your curiosity about the study of the brain.

You took special interest in Guy’s studies. He so resembles you in appearance and in his kind heart. So often, we saw the two of you deep in conversation about interests that only you two shared.

You beamed with joy when you gazed at our youngest daughter Yael, whom you lovingly called Yali. You loved to sing to her and took a passionate interest in her plans for the future.

I cherished the special relationship forged with Gila, who loved and cared for you so. We loved our Friday night meals, the weekends and holidays we spent together in our house overlooking Lake Kinneret, home to poets Rachel and Naomi Shemer, so close to Kibbutz Alumot, which you helped to found.

We will remember you wherever we go and in whatever we do. We will remember you in words, and in books. We will remember you in poems and songs. And in the pathways of the country that you helped build, and in the magnificent undertakings you established.

Whenever we see your friends and loved ones, we will see your face reflected, as in the many people in Israel and the world for whom you were a leader, mentor and inspiration. You were a role model, a loyal son to your people and your country, and you strove with unparalleled determination for security and peace.

You never spared your energy, and it never waned. You made the most of every moment in your life, up to very the end. We will remember you as one whose greatness stemmed from a deep passion to serve a great cause, and not out of a desire for power. You leave behind a monumental and lasting legacy. I will never forget what I learned from you. The older I grew, the closer we became. And the closer I got, the more I saw your greatness. You were a giant.

In the last ten years of your life you were surrounded by boundless love, like never before. If only you could now see for a fleeting moment the pure love for you here, at this your last stop. How moved you would be, and thankful to all those who came from near and far. You always preferred the possibilities offered by the imagination to clinging to memories of the past. The legacy you leave to us is the world of tomorrow.

I told you that I loved you. But I never knew how much. Only the pain of loss and sorrow of separation that surround us all here together have helped me understand.

Farewell my teacher and mentor. Farewell beloved father and grandfather. We will travel the path of light you left us.

Jewish Press Staff

Lords of the Dance

Monday, September 19th, 2016

Hareidi children dance at the Kotel in the Old City of Jerusalem on September 18, 2016.

Photo of the Day

Goldstein on Gelt: What’s the Best Way to Give Your Children Financial Assistance?

Monday, September 19th, 2016

Parents often want to give financial assistance to their children. How much should parents give, and what’s the best way to do it?
On today’s show, Doug Goldstein, CFP® examines generational giving. Learn about the tax considerations involved in gifting money to your children, and how the wrong kind of assistance can make your children more dependent on you and less able to manage their money.
Apart from the issue of helping your children financially during your lifetime, is it important to leave them an inheritance? Attorney Jeff Condon, author of Beyond the Grave: The Right and Wrong Way of Leaving Money to Your Children, explores how estate planning can affect family relationships. Listen for tips on appointing executors, protecting your estate from taxes and how to preserve your estate’s value.
The Goldstein On Gelt Show is a financial podcast. Click on the player below to listen. For show notes and contact details of the guest, go to www.GoldsteinOnGelt.com

Doug Goldstein, CFP®

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/blogs/goldstein-on-gelt/goldstein-on-gelt-whats-the-best-way-to-give-your-children-financial-assistance/2016/09/19/

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