Perhaps the most important part of the teshuvah process is being able to admit when we’re wrong. If I’m unable to say “I was wrong,” how am I going to acknowledge my sins before Hashem and truly regret what I’ve done? It is therefore incumbent upon us to acquire enough humility to admit our mistakes.
Rebbe Nachman tells us that one of the biggest barriers to seeing and admitting the truth is the desire to be victorious. He writes, “A person who always wants to win the argument is very intolerant of truth. The truth may be staring him in the face, but because he is determined to win at all costs, he ignores it completely. If you want to find the real truth, you must rid yourself of the urge to win. Then you will be able to see the truth if you wish.” (Likutey Moharan I, 122)
If we apply this idea to teshuvah we can see how the desire to “win” acts as a barrier to admitting our sins before Hashem. That inner voice tells us “You had no choice! You had to act in the manner you did!” Rebbe Nachman is telling us our desire for truth must be stronger than our desire to win. Otherwise, we’ll be blind to the truth even when it’s obvious to everyone else just how wrong we were.
With Yom Kipper approaching, we take stock of our lives and seek to do teshuvah for our sins. May Hashem help us to pursue truth to the utmost degree and be willing to say the words, “I was wrong.” G’mar chasima tova.