web analytics
July 24, 2014 / 26 Tammuz, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Advocacy Room IDC Fights War on Another Front

Student Union opens ‘hasbara’ room in effort to fill public diplomacy vacuum.



Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 12/25/09

By:

Chronicles-logo

Dear Rachel,

I’ve thought long and hard about writing this letter and decided that in the interest of family harmony, it is well worth my trouble.
As harsh as it may sound, people don’t live forever, and I believe that arrangements made beforehand can go a long toward preventing future family machlokes.

Most of us tend to accumulate various memorabilia in substantial amounts over a lifetime, what with furniture, furnishings, paintings, photographs, knickknacks of all sorts, etc.

Many children and grandchildren are known to have squabbled over “who gets what” when parents “leave” to a better world. It is not necessarily the monetary value that creates the disagreements, I might add; very often it is the nostalgia factor that comes into play.
A favorite chair, a painting, a desk, a vase, even a drinking cup different items have different connotations to individuals. These may involve personal memories, attachments formed, etc. and so forth.
Most parents know their children well enough to be able to stipulate who should get what and what should belong to whom. This can be accomplished either in writing, or in person while parents are still able to. Live discussions are far more constructive than guesswork and the engendering of hard or hurt feelings once “live” discussions are no longer possible.

Nobody likes to focus on the “end of the line,” but preparedness does not have to mean that the end is imminent. It is just a matter of serious consideration for the future (after 120) and the peace of mind that comes with knowing that one’s children will be left feeling cared about.

Just my two cents

Dear Just,

While your suggestion makes sense, it is hard enough to cope with each new day, let alone concentrate on a time down the line that most of us would much prefer not to dwell on. And, besides, we don’t dream that the material things we live with daily and take for granted are the kind of items that our children will wrangle over.
That said, I would take your idea one step further – to suggest that parents/grandparents not wait until they can no longer verbalize, “you’re welcome.” And most will agree that there is a level of satisfaction in witnessing a child’s and grandchild’s delight and appreciation over a personal gift presented with love.
After all, none of our accumulated items will accompany any of us on our final journey, so why not indulge our children with gifts of some of our extras accumulated in china closets and attics, for birthdays, anniversaries, etc.
Of monetary gain what is the sense in constantly seeking more lucrative investments and making another couple of bucks? How many of our young (and not so young) couples, especially in today’s tough economic times, cannot do with a cash gift to supplement the cost of exorbitant tuition or to help defray the cost of a grandchild’s wedding, etc.?
This is not to say that all of our senior citizens are in a position to dispense as freely as they would like to. And it is vitally important for our elders to maintain a healthy degree of independence, which very much involves being financially solvent. (After the many long and hardworking years, one does earn the right to relax in comfort.) In this vein, it should be stated that young people who are fortunate to be doing well should be seeing to their parents’ needs and comfort rather than vice-versa.
Ultimately, we must all remember that gemilus chassadim (acts of kindness) sustain our world and that our money and possessions are all given to us by Hashem Who intended for us to share them, not hoard them.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, which are sure to open up the hearts and wallets of many.

We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 338 Third Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11215.

About the Author: We encourage women and men of all ages to send in their personal stories via email to rachel@jewishpress.com or by mail to Rachel/Chronicles, c/o The Jewish Press, 4915 16th Ave., Brooklyn, N.Y. 11204. If you wish to make a contribution and help agunot, your tax-deductible donation should be sent to The Jewish Press Foundation. Please make sure to specify that it is to help agunot, as the foundation supports many worthwhile causes.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Chronicles Of Crises In Our Communities – 12/25/09”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
U.S. President Barack Obama
FAA Ban on Flights to Israel ‘Worse than BDS’
Latest Sections Stories
book-Family-Frayda

Written entirely through Frayda’s eyes, the reader is drawn by her unassuming personality.

book-I-Kings

Adopting an ancient exegetical approach that is based on midrashic readings of the text, thematic connections that span between various books of the Bible are revealed.

book-Unify-A-Nation

While Lipman comes from an ultra-Orthodox background and is an Orthodox rabbi, he offers a breath of fresh air when he suggests that “polarization caused by extremism and isolationism in the religious community may be the greatest internal threat to the future of the Jewish people”

The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten defines a mentch as “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character.”

Certainly today’s communication via e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and the like, including the ubiquitous Whatsapp, has reduced the need to talk with people and communicate at length.

These two special women utilized their incredibly painful experience as an opportunity to assist others.

Maybe we don’t have to lose that growth and unity that we have achieved, especially with the situation in Eretz Yisrael right now.

Sleepily, I watched him kissing Mai’s chubby thighs.

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

My teachers like me and they tell my parents that I am a great girl with good middos.

The chicken and waffle nuggets were fabulous and were like chicken in a dessert form.

“Have you forgotten your dreams?” The Hope Merchant asks a defeated and hopeless Lily when she “happens” upon his shop.

The universe was created by God out of nothing; it has not always existed.

    Latest Poll

    Israel's Iron Dome Anti-Missile System:





    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/chronicles-of-crises/chronicles-of-crises-in-our-communities-215/2009/12/23/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: