Photo Credit: Jewish Press
Bari Mitzmann

“Hamakom yinachem etchem – May you be comforted amongst the mourners of Jerusalem” are words that many of us unfortunately know by heart.

I always wondered why we say this in a shiva house. The loss the mourners experienced was incredibly recent. Why would we want them to just feel comfort? Wouldn’t we want them to process and feel the feelings so that once they really get to the point of acceptance, then they can feel comfort?


Many of us have personal struggles. Ones that are not often shared with others, allowing them to fester and breed shame and loneliness.

I use my social media platforms to show people that they are not alone in their struggles. “Imi anochi bitzara”; I see you, I feel you, I am here for you.

Creating a bond with someone struggling and sending the message that you are there for them, for all of the emotions that come with that struggle and the reminder that they are not alone – that is comfort.

To know they must not suffer in silence and that there is an army of people who have their back – that is comfort.

May we all be comforted and be there to comfort others.


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Bari Mitzmann is a popular podcaster whose goal is to empower women, normalize mental illness, and discuss seemingly taboo topics in the Jewish community. She has a MA in education and has worked in outreach.