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December 22, 2014 / 30 Kislev, 5775
 
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For Yaalon, Kerry, Love Means Totally Saying You’re Sorry

To the Americans, he said, "I am the nut they can't crack."

Defense Minister Moshe "Bogie" Yaalon (L), seen here during a drill in the Binyamin Regional Council last December 25, is the one true enemy of the proposed American security plan for Israel. Because he sees it's worthless and says so. And so, Yaalon has been in the State dept. cross-hairs since the start of the talks.

Defense Minister Moshe "Bogie" Yaalon (L), seen here during a drill in the Binyamin Regional Council last December 25, is the one true enemy of the proposed American security plan for Israel. Because he sees it's worthless and says so. And so, Yaalon has been in the State dept. cross-hairs since the start of the talks.
Photo Credit: Ariel Hermoni/Ministry of Defence/FLASH90

In the 1970 film Love Story, Ali MacGraw tells boyfriend Ryan O’Neal: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” That might just mean there’s no love, lost or otherwise, between Israeli Defense Minister Moshe (Bogey—as in Humphrey Bogart, not Boogie, as in boogie-woogie) Yaalon and U.S. secretary of State John (the Boston Brahmin) Kerry. Because Bogie apologized to Kerry, in both Hebrew and English, for his disparaging comments.

Incidentally, I don’t recall President Barack (Barry) Obama ever apologizing to Benjamin (Bibi) Netanyahu for whining about him on an open mike, in conversation with French President Nicolas (Sarko) Sarkozy, back in 2011. Sarko said, “Netanyahu, I can’t stand him, he’s a liar,” and Barry said, “You’re sick of him, but I have to deal with him every day…”

According to Yedioth, Yaalon said Kerry “operates from an incomprehensible obsession and sense of messianism” and “can’t teach me anything about the conflict with the Palestinians.”

And then he said: “The only thing that might save us is if John Kerry wins the Nobel Prize and leaves us be. We’ve given enough and have received nothing… enough is enough.”

In comparison, Bogey’s saying the Brahmin is obsessive and has a messianic complex, then suggesting someone should give the guy his Nobel Peace Prize already so he’ll leave us alone – well, yes, it’s about as bad. Not the worst thing anyone has ever said about Kerry (Where are the Swiftboaters when you need them?), but of all the things being said every day about the United States, the world’s last remaining superpower decided to pounce on Yaalon.

Because it was a golden opportunity, seeing as the talks are in the toilet, the Palestinians are breaking the Oslo principles once again, going to the UN for recognition, the entire Kerry effort is exposed as so much smoke and mirrors—let’s hit Bogie hard.

According to Yaalon, the negotiations over the past seven and something months have been not so much talks between Israel and the Palestinian as a harsh and bitter fight between himself and the American team. “I am the nut they can’t crack.”

They may be annoyed with Netanyahu, but the Americans hate Yaalon with a passion, because he’s a professional military expert, because he is trusted by most Israelis—Bibi is afraid of him politically, so trust there is not possible, especially when Sara is in the room.

Yaalon sees every little fault in the American proposed security plan and has said publicly that it isn’t worth the paper it’s written on (someone needs to upgrade that putdown to include PowerPoint presentations).

So State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki expressed outrage on Tuesday: “The remarks of the defense minister, if accurate, are offensive and inappropriate, especially given all that the United States is doing to support Israel’s security needs.”

Oh, the remarks are accurate, sister, your boss is 100 percent certifiably obsessive, and nasty, too. And that stuff about securing Israel – do us a favor, go secure someone else.

But, of course, Yaalon can’t quite say that, although I would have loved to see him giving our parental figure a little lip. What are they going to do? Announce they’ll cut off military support because of what Bogie called Kerry?

I’d still pay good money to watch it.

“Secretary Kerry and his team including General Allen have been working day and night to try to promote a secure peace for Israel because of the secretary’s deep concern for Israel’s future,” the pesky Psaki said, sounding like the proverbial disappointed mother.

After all the sacrifices your father and I are making for you, how dare you say hurtful things like that?

You know, it just occurred to me that Israel’s relationship with its patron America is very unhealthy, and that both sides should seek psychological help. Two sessions a week, no judgmental talk, in six months the whole Middle East would look better.

Instead of holding up signs against this or that outside the White House, let’s all just pull up a huge banner: “Go see a shrink!”

Psaki added that John R. Allen, the former top American commander in Afghanistan, has developed proposals for securing Judea and Samaria (she used the WB words, obviously) once peace treaty between Israel and the Palestinians is negotiated.

Is that like inviting the Captain of the Titanic to help you ride your boat? What’s the matter, General Custer too busy?

“To question his motives and distort his proposals is not something we would expect from the defense minister of a close ally,” she said.

That already sounds like a note to Moshe’s parents. “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Yaalon, your son Moshe is a very gifted boy, which is why it pains me so much to suspend him from school for three days.”

See a shrink!

For his part, Minister Bogie apologized, in Hebrew and in English (dealing with Americans you expect them not to be versed with any language other than English, if that).

After a closed meeting with Bibi—in which it’s not known if any scolding went on, or just an embarrassed few minutes of silence, or maybe they watched a ball game—Bogie said: “I did not mean to hurt [Kerry's] feelings, and I apologize if he was offended by the Comments attributed to me.”

He also said (I’m paraphrasing) that Israel really appreciates Kerry’s indefatigable efforts to advance the peace negotiations.

Wait a minute, isn’t indefatigable just another way of saying obsessive and riddled with a messianic complex and a greedy desire for the Nobel Peace Prize?

About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.


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12 Responses to “For Yaalon, Kerry, Love Means Totally Saying You’re Sorry”

  1. Lisa Kamins says:

    thanks. too bad Ya'alon can't politically say this, it was accurate, like a surgical knife.

  2. This article captures so well the animosity and hatred that the Obama/Kerry team has for Israel. When will the Jewish liberals wake up? When will they stop mouthing th Orwellian notion that Obama is good for IsraeL?

    i

  3. Sam Gilon says:

    Truth hurts, doesn't it John?

  4. I did not vote for snobama and never would in a billion years. His disdain for Israel is but one of the dozens of reasons why mr.snobama is the most dangerous person on earth.His name in Hebrew means 'lightning on the high places of idolatry.

  5. Becausd he has only contempt for G-ds Law, snobama is the most hateful person alive today, wrapped in a sickly veil of projected messianic brilliance which barely hides his dull-witted void of imagination. So what would you expect from his underlings?

  6. Snobama is most likely the 'son of perdition' spoken of by the Prophet Daniel and Paul the Apostle. Wake up you lunatics who voted for him! You have lit the fuse for disaster we Christians have been warning you about for years.Wake up.

  7. Kerry isn't and won't ever be able to play with the big boys! I loved the comments from the Israeli Defense Minister – no one could have said it better.

  8. Carlos Font says:

    A tremendous article! The Jewish Press is my number one source of information since we practically have no press here. And Yori Yanover's wit and sense of humor are delightful. Reminds me of my favourite conservative writer here in the U.S., Ann Coulter. C'mon, Mr. Yaalon, you don't have to apologize to any one for anything!

  9. Alex Shapiro says:

    A great article. Yori, you are the man, I'm going to order all your books :-)
    Perhaps "Bogie" Yalon is so 'hard nut' is because he, unlike 'yafei nefesh' ('pure souls') who want to sell Israel for a fictional 'peace', bothered to read both Quran and Hadith (two holy books of Islam) where there is clearly said that all the infidels must be killed, particularly Jews (Hadith, the portion Buchari) and that any treaty with infidels should be viewed as a trick.

  10. This peace plan seeks to give up more of God’s land and that is a clear sin against God. God has not changed; He is the same as he has always been. From the day that he gave this land to Abraham until now, He is the same. In recent decades there have been many attacks followed by a time of settling and then renewed trouble and more attacks. Today we see this same scenario but with greater weapons involved and with less time settling in between attacks with more and more troubles mounting. There are even terroristic attacks within the settling periods. We see the Muslim nations getting closer to Moscow as time goes. This looks to be setting up the national alignment of the attack made in EZ 38 that takes place in the middle of the tribulation period. I believe that the rapture/departure of the Christian church is to take place very soon and that an evil peace deal will be made for 7/360 day years, between Israel, the Arabs and a person who will head the one world government. That man will be the anti-Christ. I wrote a book in 2012 that discusses some of the prophecies written about in the Bible. It’s a short read of 6 or 7 pages and it’s totally free. I hope you will have a look: http://www.booksie.com/religion_and_spirituality/book/richard_b_barnes/after-the-rapture-whats-next

  11. "Bogie" Yalon again is obeying Netanyahu to apology Kerry, the same was when Yalon was not in favor to vote the releasing of the morderous terrorist, but Netanyahu convinced to vote in favor, what is going in Israel?, it is forbiden to express?, what about Netanyahu with his big mouth anouncing many years to strike Iran?.

  12. Arie Arazi says:

    I love it Yori. Reading your comments I imagined Bogie resting his hand on Kerry’s shoulder saying “John you are an idiot, do you think that the security of Israel is a child play? Are you trying to teach me Talmud and Pirkeh Avot? You are behaving like that stupid Don Quixote, you see things and you believe that you have found the answer. Did you think, you tambal, of that Abbas has developed a system by which he lets you believe that he is really keen on achieving a peace agreement and makes you dance smelling the Nobel prize, listen, Tete Patate, Abbas knows that he would be slaughtered before he even reaches home. What Abbas wants is that the entire world would feel for him and look at Israel with anger and hatred. If you really want to solve the conflict I know a smart soldier, he is 17 years old, who now works in the kitchen, he can teach you. What is your IQ you said?” John’s face turns red answering “ Mr. Minister, I take this as an insult, are you aware that you are talking with the Secretary of States of the United States of America? And Bogie smiles to him saying “relax this is how friends talk to each other, I’m sorry if my words offended you.” Kerry smiles back saying “for a minute I thought you were serious, by the way who is Don Chichote?”

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