Latest update: January 16th, 2014
In the 1970 film Love Story, Ali MacGraw tells boyfriend Ryan O’Neal: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” That might just mean there’s no love, lost or otherwise, between Israeli Defense Minister Moshe (Bogey—as in Humphrey Bogart, not Boogie, as in boogie-woogie) Yaalon and U.S. secretary of State John (the Boston Brahmin) Kerry. Because Bogie apologized to Kerry, in both Hebrew and English, for his disparaging comments.
Incidentally, I don’t recall President Barack (Barry) Obama ever apologizing to Benjamin (Bibi) Netanyahu for whining about him on an open mike, in conversation with French President Nicolas (Sarko) Sarkozy, back in 2011. Sarko said, “Netanyahu, I can’t stand him, he’s a liar,” and Barry said, “You’re sick of him, but I have to deal with him every day…”
According to Yedioth, Yaalon said Kerry “operates from an incomprehensible obsession and sense of messianism” and “can’t teach me anything about the conflict with the Palestinians.”
And then he said: “The only thing that might save us is if John Kerry wins the Nobel Prize and leaves us be. We’ve given enough and have received nothing… enough is enough.”
In comparison, Bogey’s saying the Brahmin is obsessive and has a messianic complex, then suggesting someone should give the guy his Nobel Peace Prize already so he’ll leave us alone – well, yes, it’s about as bad. Not the worst thing anyone has ever said about Kerry (Where are the Swiftboaters when you need them?), but of all the things being said every day about the United States, the world’s last remaining superpower decided to pounce on Yaalon.
Because it was a golden opportunity, seeing as the talks are in the toilet, the Palestinians are breaking the Oslo principles once again, going to the UN for recognition, the entire Kerry effort is exposed as so much smoke and mirrors—let’s hit Bogie hard.
According to Yaalon, the negotiations over the past seven and something months have been not so much talks between Israel and the Palestinian as a harsh and bitter fight between himself and the American team. “I am the nut they can’t crack.”
They may be annoyed with Netanyahu, but the Americans hate Yaalon with a passion, because he’s a professional military expert, because he is trusted by most Israelis—Bibi is afraid of him politically, so trust there is not possible, especially when Sara is in the room.
Yaalon sees every little fault in the American proposed security plan and has said publicly that it isn’t worth the paper it’s written on (someone needs to upgrade that putdown to include PowerPoint presentations).
So State Department spokeswoman Jen Psaki expressed outrage on Tuesday: “The remarks of the defense minister, if accurate, are offensive and inappropriate, especially given all that the United States is doing to support Israel’s security needs.”
Oh, the remarks are accurate, sister, your boss is 100 percent certifiably obsessive, and nasty, too. And that stuff about securing Israel – do us a favor, go secure someone else.
But, of course, Yaalon can’t quite say that, although I would have loved to see him giving our parental figure a little lip. What are they going to do? Announce they’ll cut off military support because of what Bogie called Kerry?
I’d still pay good money to watch it.
“Secretary Kerry and his team including General Allen have been working day and night to try to promote a secure peace for Israel because of the secretary’s deep concern for Israel’s future,” the pesky Psaki said, sounding like the proverbial disappointed mother.
After all the sacrifices your father and I are making for you, how dare you say hurtful things like that?
You know, it just occurred to me that Israel’s relationship with its patron America is very unhealthy, and that both sides should seek psychological help. Two sessions a week, no judgmental talk, in six months the whole Middle East would look better.
Instead of holding up signs against this or that outside the White House, let’s all just pull up a huge banner: “Go see a shrink!”
Psaki added that John R. Allen, the former top American commander in Afghanistan, has developed proposals for securing Judea and Samaria (she used the WB words, obviously) once peace treaty between Israel and the Palestinians is negotiated.
Is that like inviting the Captain of the Titanic to help you ride your boat? What’s the matter, General Custer too busy?
“To question his motives and distort his proposals is not something we would expect from the defense minister of a close ally,” she said.
That already sounds like a note to Moshe’s parents. “Dear Mr. and Mrs. Yaalon, your son Moshe is a very gifted boy, which is why it pains me so much to suspend him from school for three days.”
See a shrink!
For his part, Minister Bogie apologized, in Hebrew and in English (dealing with Americans you expect them not to be versed with any language other than English, if that).
After a closed meeting with Bibi—in which it’s not known if any scolding went on, or just an embarrassed few minutes of silence, or maybe they watched a ball game—Bogie said: “I did not mean to hurt [Kerry’s] feelings, and I apologize if he was offended by the Comments attributed to me.”
He also said (I’m paraphrasing) that Israel really appreciates Kerry’s indefatigable efforts to advance the peace negotiations.
Wait a minute, isn’t indefatigable just another way of saying obsessive and riddled with a messianic complex and a greedy desire for the Nobel Peace Prize?Yori Yanover
About the Author: Yori Yanover has been a working journalist since age 17, before he enlisted and worked for Ba'Machane Nachal. Since then he has worked for Israel Shelanu, the US supplement of Yedioth, JCN18.com, USAJewish.com, Lubavitch News Service, Arutz 7 (as DJ on the high seas), and the Grand Street News. He has published Dancing and Crying, a colorful and intimate portrait of the last two years in the life of the late Lubavitch Rebbe, (in Hebrew), and two fun books in English: The Cabalist's Daughter: A Novel of Practical Messianic Redemption, and How Would God REALLY Vote.
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