When one hears the term ‘Hate Crime’ it usually conjures up images of white supremacists beating up innocent black youth or some neo Nazis doing the same to an innocent Jewish youth. But hate is not unique only to cross racial or religious cultures. One can hate one’s own. A Chasidic girl’s school (Bobov) was recently torched in Israel.

This – says MK (member of the Kenesset) Yisrael Eichler of the Haredi Yahadut Hatorah (UTJ) party – is but one example of hate crimes perpetrated against Haredim that is completely ignored by the media. From 5TJT:

“Every day people spit at and curse hareidi Jews, particularly recently, and nobody is horrified by this.” Says Eichler. And yet if a girl gets spit upon bya Chardi Jew an entire party is created that receives enough votes to get 19 seats in the Kenesset!

The arson attack was the tip of the iceberg, Eichler said. “Every day people spit at and curse hareidi Jews, particularly recently, and nobody is horrified by this.”

“But when somebody in Beit Shemesh spits on one girl, a party was built on that spit that got nineteen mandates, and another twelve religious mandates joined them to boycott hareidi Jews and starve their children,” he said, referring to the Yesh Atid party and its pact with the Bayit Yehudi (Jewish Home) party.

I don’t know how true it is that crimes against Haredim are ignored by the media. If true his indignation is understandable.

But I think he fails to understand why it is happening (if indeed it is). Did all these secular Jews wake up one day to become haters of Haredim – for no reason at all? To many of us who live outside of his world the answer is obvious. They were not born this way or suddenly cast into an anti Haredi spell by demons from outer space.

It is because of the Haredi sense of being in service to God to the exclusion of all others. They truly believe B’Emunah Shelaima (with complete faith) that they have the only true path to God. Their understanding of Torah supersedes the understanding of all others. And that nothing colors that understanding.

As such they view any opposition to themselves as either ignorant (at best) or outright hostility to God. The latter being the more common attitude.

Does he really think that Yesh Atid got their 19 seats because of bad press? …or from one incident in Bet Shemesh? Is it possible he may just be missing the real reason?

I think it is far more likely that the issue of the day – sharing the burden by serving in the army – is what drove this election. That may not be the only issue that drove Israelis to the polls for, but it was certainly one of the more important ones.

Their attitude about the draft is but one area that they badly stumble over. It isn’t so much the issue itself that polarizes the secular and Dati parties from Haredim. It is the way that Haredim characterize and react to it… that does. Their righteous indignation translates to condescension which is palpable – often turning into outright hostility!

Take for example Rav Shmuel Auerbach recent comments as reported in the Jewish Press. Referring to the requirement to resist the draft he said:

“[S]tand guard without any changes, because this is one of the fundamentals of the faith, in the category of ‘ye’hareg v’bal ya’avor’ (a commandment one must obey even at the cost of their own life). …The issue at hand (the draft) is nothing short of eradicating our religion… (emphasis mine)”

One must die rather than serve one’s country. That is how he refers to military service in Israel. Can either MK Eichler or Rav Auerbach or the many other Haredi rabbinic leaders not imagine how the typical Israeli mother whose son is subject to be put in harm’s way might react to that kind of statement?!

The answer must be that they are incapable of imagining it. The belief in the righteousness of their cause blinds them to the perspectives of others. Anyone who does not see it their way must be an enemy of Judaism to be resisted at the cost of their own lives if necessary. Yehoreg V’Al Ya’avor. Virtually all Haredi rabbinic leaders seem to feel this way to one extent or another.

Since suffering from colitis as a teen, I finally adopted a strict diet in my 30s that ended my torment. It wasn’t easy to forgo white flour, white sugar and all chemical additives, but it meant that I spend the last 40 years pretty much free of doctors, medications and illness, thank God. Thus, I was surprised when two weeks before Rosh Hashanah, I began to experience increasingly severe stomach discomfort – until I was barely able to move. Despite what I was soon to endure, it helped greatly to focus on the moment-to-moment miracles. For example:

Miracle #1: My son Moshe, who is one of the busiest people on the planet, called on a Wednesday night to say, “I have a free morning, so let’s finish your new set of Sanity Cards,” a project to help children deal with stressful events in a positive manner. Miraculously I had no clients that morning, which is usually a busy time, and miraculously he has never before called with such an offer. So I immediately agreed. He came promptly at 10 a.m., as promised. His presence helped distract me from the pain, which I was sure would soon fade.

Miracle #2: We finished around 10:30 a.m., when he said, “Mom, this is ridiculous. You’re in too much pain! Get a doctor.” I promptly called the service that sends doctors to one’s home. The clerk at the health fund said that the doctor could not come until 3 p.m., but less than half an hour later, he showed up unexpectedly. After a brief examination, he promptly sent me to the emergency room.

Miracle #3: Since my son was with me, he was able to drive me to the hospital. He also stayed with me most of the time – returning home at 2.am.

Miracle #4: After sitting in terrible pain in the emergency room, a bed finally became available at around 3:30. I was able to lie down, which I hadn’t been able to do before, and was given an IV, which included a pain reliever. At 5:30, the results of the CT finally came back. A group of doctors determined that I had a massive infection, as well as three large blood clots near my pancreas. The nurse told me to not move around, as things looked grim. But I was relieved that there was no obstruction, as my greatest fear was that I would need to undergo intestinal surgery.

Miracle #5: I was given antibiotics and heparin intravenously to dissolve the clots. I was told not to move, lest the dangerous blood clots travel to my lungs or brain, God forbid. As I looked at the bags hanging from the poles, I thought to myself, “This is how I need to feel Hashem’s love, as if it is flowing into my veins 24/7.”

Miracle #6: At 2 a.m., I was transferred to the hospital ward. Although my roommate was having a hard night, her husband was the sweetest person imaginable, constantly soothing her with words of reassurance and helping her with all the little things a person needs right after surgery. Thus, the energy was very positive and loving. I was grateful that there were only the two of us and grateful for buttons that allowed me to adjust the bed myself.

Miracle #7: The next day my son brought me lots of reading material, including all the Mishpacha magazines that I hadn’t gotten to and a book I had been wanting to read for months – that he just “happened” to find. I was soothed and inspired during the long nights.

Miracle #8: On Friday afternoon, at around 3 p.m., a group of ten young men with guitars, flutes and drums entered my room singing Shabbos songs. They even asked for my favorites. Pure Gan Eden! After they left, a chassid walked in with a sweet two-year-old who was holding a basket of taffy candies. Her father motioned to her to give two candies to each patient. What a lesson in chesed! I disposed of the candies, as I do not eat sugar. But her smile will stay with me forever.

Miracle #9: At around 5 p.m., my brother walked in with a box of grapes, which I had asked him to bring – just in case I could eat something. Since my daughter, who insisted on coming to visit, had gotten mixed up and had gone to Ein Kerem hospital instead of Shaare Zedek, we had time to talk, which was important to us.

Ten months after Channel 2 News ran a devastating story about her 8-year-old daughter, Na’ama, being spat on by Haredim over differences on modest attire, Hadassa Margolis is planning to move out of Beit Shemesh, the Haredi enclave outside Jerusalem.

In the headline-making interview, back in December, 2011, Hadassa and Na’ama shared horrifying tales of Haredi men attacking them every morning, as mother was accompanying her daughter to school. They were yelled at and spat on by Haredi men, they related, to the point where little Na’ama was staying home, refusing to go to school for fear of being attacked again.

The Margolis story was supported at the time by interviews with Haredi men who spoke openly o the cameras about the need to shame publicly women who do not adhere to the strictest Haredi manner of dress.

The Margolis family is religious but not Haredi.

Now, Hadassa Margolis is considering moving out of Beit Shemesh. This is despite the fact that their story had an enormous impact on the city, as Na’ama herself told IDF radio this week: “The extremists are no longer coming out when I walk to school,” she reported, commenting that “the news report changed reality.”

The same IDF radio report this week said that three kolels (yeshivas for married scholars) where the Haredi attackers used to belong have been closed down and the students left town. But that is not enough, apparently, for Hadassa and Na’ama Margolis, who say they’re still feeling traumatized by last year’s events.

“I’ve had enough of feeling like we’re anybody’s scapegoats (fra’yerim), I’ve had enough of feeling uncomfortable, changing clothes in certain places. I’m a little exhausted emotionally.”

She confessed she is yet to take actual steps to facilitate a move, but she is not going to deny that this is her intention. She said she knew people wanted her to say when she was leaving and where to, but she insisted she would do “that which is best for my family.”

“I don’t need for my daughters to grow up with such thoughts in their heads – am I modest enough – with fear. I want to live in a normal place, without extremists,” she concludes.

The story about the Haredi soldier who was shamed and kicked out of the Toldos Avraham Yitzchak synagogue in Beit Shemesh is not over yet, reports B’Hadrei Haredim: the soldier arrived at the synagogue this week, in civilian clothing, and was honored with an aliyah to the Torah by one of the members.

As, reported last week, a uniformed, 27 year old Haredi soldier, father of two, came to the Toldos Avraham Yitzchak shul in the Nachala U’Menucha neighborhood of Beit Shemesh to pray. At the courtyard entrance, one of the chassidim warned him: “Don’t enter this beis medrash in an IDF uniform.” Later on, when he did decide to go inside, he was verbally attacked by one of the men in the shul who yelled, “Get out, you impure person! Get right out!”

On Monday, close to 11 AM, the same soldier arrived to pray at one of the “shteiblach” (smaller shuls) on the lower level of the same building. According to the report of a person who was also praying there, “the other worshippers spoke with him nicely, even those that had shouted at him. They also spoke about the commotion that resulted from the story’s publication.”

He also said that “one of the people praying there even bought him an aliyah.”

They sell aliyot on a weekday morning? Seriously? That’s a much bigger story than the whole soldier thing…

I am in shock.

A friend of mine was visiting the United States and his ride to the airport for his return flight to Israel fell through. At the last minute he needed to find a ride to a terminal that was 50 minutes away in order to catch a bus to New York City where he would then take a shuttle to the airport.

A young man, fresh off a year of Torah study in a top hesder yeshiva and looking forward to his second year of learning in Israel, offered to drive this visiting rabbi. This boy would appear to be a yeshiva high school success story – religious and learning Torah. Of course, he was told, the rabbi will pay something to offset gas expenses and for his time.

They arrived at the bus terminal and my friend decided he would give the boy more than what he thought the effort was worth since he appreciated the gesture. He offered the young man $50. The boy said it was not enough. My friend offered $60. The boy said, “You have to pay me double because I now have to drive back.”

My friend was taken by surprise and said $60 for 90 minutes of driving was certainly fair. The boy insisted on asking a cab driver what he would charge. The cabbie answered $60. The boy would not accept that. He demanded $100. The rabbi said he needed cash for more buses and for food. The boy responded that this was “taking away time from Torah learning” and he needed to be compensated accordingly. My friend managed to find $84 only to be met with the boy saying, “This is just not right.” And with that they parted ways.

My friend related how just that morning during Shacharit he was thinking about how “off target” we are as he watched rabbis barking at children to stand during “vayevareich Dovid” and the “vihu rachum,” part of Tachanun at a youth minyan. He was not suggesting we shouldn’t find ways to encourage our children to stand when our custom dictates standing during prayers. But the degree to which the kids were being scolded for not standing struck a chord that led him to reflect upon what we teach as important and what is not important.

When this yeshiva boy then squeezed him for money, it all came together in his mind and I could not agree more.

There is no doubt the horrifying actions of this young man are not mainstream. However, sometimes reaching a new low can shock the system and prompt introspection. A yeshiva high-school graduate – after a year in shana aleph and preparing for shana bet – acting in this manner is certainly a significant low and brings issues I have been thinking about for years to the fore.

Let’s take a step back and see where the average yeshiva high school boy stands upon graduation from high school. Is he fluent in Hebrew? No. Can he prepare a Gemara on his own? No. Does he enjoy studying Gemara? No. Does he know Tanach? No. Does he enjoy davening? No. Does he understand basic Jewish philosophy about God, the purpose of creation, and why we do the things we do? No. Does he stand head and shoulders above the rest of society in terms of his dedication to acts of loving-kindness and basic human decency? No.

The time has come for us to look at ourselves in the mirror and work to make change.

What can be done? I would begin by following the advice of my teacher and mentor, Rabbi Yaakov Weinberg, of blessed memory, and teach Hebrew. Twelve years of school is more than enough to produce students who are completely fluent in Hebrew and capable of opening both prayer books and classic Jewish texts and having a basic understanding of the meaning of the words.

Another one of my teachers pointed out the shame that if every Book of Chabakuk were to be removed from all our schools and study halls, no one would even notice. The Written Torah contains God’s eternal messages to us and therefore we should shift away from our focus on Gemara and produce students who are proficient in Tanach and Mishnah.

Bat Melech, Israel’s most comprehensive network of social service for victims of domestic violence, has reached across the Atlantic for assistance, hoping to create a funding base in America in order to be able to help even more women in crisis.

Newly hired executive director of American Friends of Bat Melech, Danielle Berkowitz, has been working in the field of non-profit management for fifteen years, specializing in fundraising, grant writing, leadership development and project management, and recently relocated from Beit Shemesh to Highland Park, New Jersey with her husband and three children.

“When Bat Melech reached out to me, I knew I had to join with them and use my expertise to help victims of domestic violence,” explained Danielle. “Not only is it a cause that is near and dear to my heart, as it is based in my former home of Beit Shemesh, but last year alone Bat Melech had to turn away fifty four women, not to mention their children, due to a lack of funds. The Israeli government will pay some of the costs of assisting abused women, but they will only pay for the woman herself not her children. And most of these women have at least four kids. There is a stark need that has to be met and we are hoping to get people in the United States on board for this very important cause.”

While Danielle knew there were many organizations that would be able to make use of her expertise, the pull of working with Bat Melech was too strong to resist.

“There are, unfortunately, so many people in need, so many worthy causes that work with varied client groups, but what struck me about Bat Melech is that when it comes to domestic abuse, so many are quick to blame the victim. No one blames a child for being handicapped, no one blames a widow for her husband’s death, but so many people blame a woman in an abusive marriage. She gets blamed if she stays, blamed if she leaves, blamed for being in the situation in the first place. Wherever these women turn, they are faced with blame.”

Danielle finds that while the topic of abused women is one that people of any religion or demographic can relate to, it is particularly difficult for women in the Orthodox Jewish community. Not only are people hesitant to take in an abused woman and her children, for fear of ruining a prospective shidduch or otherwise sullying the family name, once an abused woman makes the decision to leave her community she is ostracized and will never be able to return to her former home. Additionally, children of an abused mother typically find that they are no longer welcome in school, as they are viewed as “problem children” and very often find themselves in shelters all day, every day, for months on end.

“I am hoping to spread the word on this issue throughout the United States so that people know about Bat Melech and know what we are doing for women who can’t ask for themselves,” said Danielle. “The problem of abused women transcends both geography and religion. People everywhere understand the concept of a women and children whose lives are placed in jeopardy by an abusive father.”

Danielle hopes to bring her message not only to adults but to children as well.

“Kids gravitate towards ‘mitzvah projects’ and we need to let them know that they have the ability to help other children who don’t have the privilege of going to school. It can be twinning programs, Bar and Bat Mitzvah programs. These kids aren’t supposed to have Bar and Bat Mitzvahs?”

While Danielle and her family hope to return to Israel at some point in the future, for now her sights are set firmly on using her time in America as wisely as possible.

“I hope to move forward and continue to make a difference in people’s lives,” said Danielle. “Sadly, there are so many victims of domestic abuse in Israel and it is up to us to help them get through this traumatic period of their lives.”

Sandy Eller is a freelance writer who has written for various websites, newspapers, magazines and private clients in addition to having written song lyrics and scripts for several full-scale productions. She can be contacted at sandyeller1@gmail.com.

“Magen” is a new Child Protection Agency operating in Ramat Beit Shemesh, two miles south of the city of Beit Shemesh, whose Haredi vs. National Religious and Secular clamorous encounters made headlines a month or so ago. But Magen deals with a quieter, more sinister aspect of life in this area. Founded two years ago, Magen’s website now reports the presence of at least 36 suspected child abusers in the community of Ramat Beit Shemesh.

Two weeks ago, on 20th February, the new organization sent out this message to the Beit Shemesh community by email:

WARNING

It has come to our attention that there is a man operating in  Ramat Bet Shemesh who has reportedly lured and attacked young girls.

His modus operandi is reportedly that he approaches a young girl and invites her to “help him” in darkened or secluded areas (storage areas, car parks, etc) and then he attacks the girl. (This method may change – so it is better not to be too specific when discussing this with your children).

Anyone who notices anything strange of this nature should immediately call the police and if possible take photos.

If one sees a child being lured or led into such a dark or secluded area, or into a vehicle, one should certainly intervene, without placing oneself in danger, for instance by asking the child if the man is her or his father. Please note any identifying information, such as location of incident, description of the person and what he is wearing, ethnicity, age, unusual facial characteristics, smells and any other details, even if they seem inconsequential at the time.

For victims, it’s essential that the police are informed and that they be able to interview any children involved (which is done exclusively by highly trained experts), so that they may investigate and arrest this person, and also so the child receive professional assistance if required.

Please contact the Police and Magen if you have any information or you need assistance in coping with this problem.

Yorkshire, England born Magen Executive Director David Morris, is a young looking father of six who says he is affiliated with the National Religious and is an entrepreneur in the field of electro-optics. Some 10 years ago, he founded a charity organization called Lema’an Achai (For my Brothers) in the then fledgling Ramat Beit Shemesh, applying innovative methods to empowering poor residents.

As part of his function as head of the charity organization, David Morris started hearing more and more reports of child abuse from clients, and began to look for ways of resolving each one.

In spite of strong support from much of the community and rabbinical leadership for improving child safety, he began to encounter resistance within the community, and his endeavor was at risk. All closed communities are anxious about revelations of corruption in their midst, and their natural tendency is often to circle the wagons.

David Morris decided to pick his battles, and so, instead of courting confrontation, he decided to separate his charity work from his dealing with child abuse cases, and launched Magen, a completely independent organization dealing strictly with complaints of child abuse in Beit Shemesh.

That was two years ago. Today Magen has identified four areas of activity in child protection against abuse in this orthodox enclave.

1. Raising awareness through education 2. Hotline, email for questions and reports 3. Support and help for victims and their families 4. Management of alleged perpetrators in the community.

A few months ago, Morris reported to the Nefesh Mental Health Conference in Jerusalem that in the first 18 months of the new agency’s involvement in the community, 40 men have been reported to Magen as having abused children. The organization is aware of 109 children who have allegedly been abused. That makes it one alleged perpetrator to three alleged victims.

According to Morris, 90% of the cases reported to Magen were from the community of Ramat Beit Shemesh.

“Magen is now well known in Ramat Beit Shemesh, and this probably explains much of the frequency and quantity of abuse reports we are seeing in that community. As our activities increase in other communities in Bet Shemesh, we would expect some evening-out,” Morris says.

Of the reported offenses, 78% were sex crimes against children. This compared to 10-15% nationally, as reported by the Child Protection Association of Israel.

Magen also reports that 72% of the alleged victims are boys – which reflects the trend in Jerusalem, where, according to the Child Protection Center of Jerusalem, a majority of child sex-abuse victims are also now male.

“Families have traditionally been primarily worried about their daughters being potentially abused,” Morris confirms. He urges local families, while continuing to guard and educate their daughters in this area, not to forget the risks to their sons.

We are all aware of the terrible divisions among Israel’s Jewish population. My friends and colleagues in Israel tell me they cannot remember a time in recent years where so much fragmentation existed. All this when the external threats facing Israel grow greater by the day.

If there ever was a time we could not afford to be splintered, it is now. But how can we help bridge some of the gaping chasms that exist in our extended Jewish family?

I recently learned about a wonderful organization called A Package From Home (www.apackagefromhome.org), started by an American woman. From its website:

Our mission is to strengthen the spirit and resolve of each Israeli soldier, and to show our appreciation for the sacrifices they are making in securing our safety and the survival of the Jewish People. Our care packages are not only a warm reminder of the love and esteem we hold for our soldiers but also are items that they truly need.

Packages are sent first to Chayelim Bodedim (male and female combat soldiers that have no immediate family in Israel) and severely wounded soldiers who are receiving long term hospital care.

Winter packages include a fleece jacket, 2 piece long underwear, bath towel, fleece blanket, ski hat, gloves, socks, boxer shorts, neck warmer, individual packets of coffee and sugar, candies, chocolates, and snacks, travel size toiletries, and 4 letters written by people from all over the world offering the soldiers thanks and encouragement.

These packages aren’t just about sending soldiers candy and treats. They include essential items Israeli soldiers need in order to get through the cold winter months. Apparently, the IDF does not equip its soldiers with all those items – that’s left up to their families.

What if a soldier has no immediate family in Israel? This organization makes sure that soldier still ends up with those winter essentials. Each package costs $30 to sponsor. Last month, the Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund of my shul, Kesher Israel of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, sponsored 12 winter packages.

If I had my way, those packages from Kesher Israel would have been delivered to completely non-observant soldiers. I would love to let them know our Orthodox synagogue loves, supports, and appreciates them for being our Jewish brothers and sisters – regardless of their level of observance.

There’s a second wonderful cause our Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund recently contributed to. We are all aware of the horrible news coming out of Beit Shemesh, where students of Orot Banot, a girls’ school aligned with the Religious Zionist community, have been subjected to inexcusable intimidation, harassment, and violence.

All responsible Jews have condemned those who treat little Jewish girls in such an abhorrent fashion. However, I recently asked myself what I had done – other than condemning the thuggish behavior of some and commenting on one angle or another of this terrible story – to try to comfort those wonderful children traumatized by this terrible situation.

I reached out to several friends and colleagues in the greater Beit Shemesh area. I asked for their help in making sure this e-mail reached its intended destination:

Dear Orot Banot of Beit Shemesh, I hope you are well. My name is Akiva Males. I am the rabbi of Kesher Israel Congregation in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, USA. (An OU synagogue.) All of us here feel terrible about the violence, intimidation, and harassment that your wonderful students have had to deal with. We’d like to help put smiles on their beautiful faces. Can you please tell us how we can do this? We would like to make a modest contribution. Can we donate funds for a school Shabbat party, or something? Please let me know as soon as possible.

I received the following e-mail response from the principal of the Orot Banot girl’s school, Mrs. Pirchiya Nachmani:

Dear Rabbi Males, Firstly, thank you for your note and support. It is very appreciated. At this point, we believe that the best way to counter the intimidation that has been aimed at our school, is by continuing to do what we have been mandated to do. That is, educating our young girls with a passion for learning, teaching them to strive for excellence in all areas,and developing in them a strong love for Israel…

To that end, we would be grateful if you would consider a donation towards our library or our science lab. This would react to destruction with building, it is something that will stay with our students and as you wrote “put a smile on their beautiful faces”.

We invite you to come visit our school so you can see personally how our students themselves are the “living response” to the situation.

Again, thank you so much for your support.

Needless to say, a check from our Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund was sent, and our entire congregation feels proud to support the wonderful students of Orot Banot.