web analytics
July 10, 2014 / 12 Tammuz, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
Meir Panim's Restaurant in Tiberias Restaurant in Tiberias Enriches Holocaust Survivors’ Wellbeing

The generosity of Mrs. Lee Steinberg of New York helped establish the Meir Panim Free Restaurant in Tiberias.



The Bum Class


Herskowitz-Moishe

When Rov Pam, a”h, gave me the go ahead to do Pre-Marital counseling, I knew in time I would add more topics to my curriculum. But I never dreamed that I would be talking about teenagers at risk to a couple that just go engaged! But the fact remains that I do. Couples are getting nervous about what is happening to our youth and how it will affect their future. It seems as if a war has broken out, and our youth is under attack. At present, yeshivas are at a loss about what to do and have a “zero tolerance” approach to dealing with the problem. Once the child is asked to leave the yeshiva he/she will find it difficult to gain entrance to another. This will start a cycle of rejection, anger, rebellion and finally teenage depression – an “at risk” cycle that our sages were quite aware of, and avoided at all costs

Many years ago, I received a phone call from a Rosh Yeshiva in Brooklyn who stated that he needed my help with one of his staff members, who had once been a student of his. I was working for an agency called The Federation Employment and Guidance Service that provided career testing and guidance. As we spoke, he explained that this rebbe’s class was just completely out of control. He continued to tell me that the rebbe’s wife was having a hard time dealing with all this stress and wanted a divorce. Perhaps being a rebbe was just not for him. He then told me that he had contacted a contractor that he knew who would be willing to hire this young man as an apprentice installing ceramic tiles. “If you feel that he has the potential to do the job, I will make the call” he said, “but first I have a confession to make. In yeshiva there was always a feeling of defeat, on the part of the rebbe, with the boys who were not ‘into’ learning. These boys were different from the rest. So, rather than expel them, we separated them and gave them their own rebbe to work with. As the years went by, these boys graduated and married. Some went to college, others went into business and became very productive in the community. The point is that I was wrong about them! The very same boys we wanted out became the baal-batim of today! They not only support us, but they also support several other yeshivas!” I did not dare interrupt him as he spoke, but I knew he was talking about the bum class-a system class that saved hundreds of youth from becoming teenagers at risk. The Vilna Gaon cites a talmudic passage on the famous pasuk, “educate each child according to his ability.” It was a time in history when the yeshiva world ruled with their heart and followed the words of the Vilna Gaon. It seemed as if the yeshivas gave over the responsibility of the bum class to the yetzer hara, who just took control and changed the name to teens at risk. A week later, I met with the young man, as we reviewed his test scores. He seemed to have some disabilities, but they were manageable. But with time and patience he could learn the tile business. Today, this very same rebbe has his own tile business and helps support the yeshiva in every way.

Because this rosh yeshiva followed the words of the Vilna Gaon and put the children’s priorities even before his very own, he was zoche to save hundred’s of boys from becoming teens at risk, and in turn keep shalom bayis within their homes.

Moishe Herskowitz MS., CSW, is a marriage counselor and maintains his private practice in Brooklyn as founder of CPC. He is an educator, lecturer, consultant and adjunct professor at Touro College. He is the counseling coordinator for Career Services at Touro College and the At Risk Center in Brooklyn. Moishe is presently working as a licensed guidance counselor for the NYC Board of Ed. in Special Education.  For more information or to obtain a free brochure, please contact Moishe Herskowitz at 435-7388 or at CPCMoishe@aol.com.

About the Author: Moishe Herskowitz, MS., LCSW, developed the T.E.A.M. (Torah Education & Awareness for a better Marriage). As a licensed clinical social worker and renowned family therapist, he guides new couples through easy-to-accomplish steps towards a happy, healthy marriage. He can be reached at CPCMoishe@aol.com or 718-435-7388.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “The Bum Class”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
The procession at Shalavim of Naftali Frenkel.
Naftali Frenkel Reward Bill Introduced in US Congress
Latest Sections Stories
Baseball-Insider

Zimmer was popular with veteran teammates like Roy Campanella, Gil Hodges, Pee Wee Reese and Duke Snider – and with a rookie lefthander named Sandy Koufax.

book-end-the-madness

Of course it is disingenuous to tell a person from a non-rabbinic, non-rosh yeshiva home to make an effort.

Israel’s coastline may be short, but there are still some real estate pearls waiting to be realized, offering cheap alternatives for sea front living. All you have to do is go further from the boundaries of Tel-Aviv and the Dan Block.

Explosive children or those with ODD are easily frustrated, demanding and inflexible.

Glob on the sunscreen, break out the darkest chocolate you can find and let the sun shine in!

Synagogue ritual art is also abundant but for various reasons not usually collected.

It is so hurtful to heighten people’s sense of inadequacy and guilt in a matzav that is already horrendous and difficult to bear.

In my experience, modern schools tend to be more open-minded toward other flavors of Judaism.

Green was an American volunteer in Israel’s 1948 War of Independence, but something happened In Israel that has haunted him ever since.

In this book, lovingly and admiringly written by Harry’s wife Marion, his partner in all his endeavors, the reader is granted a ringside seat to every detail in how this project was conceived and carried to fruition.

The author begins by distinguishing between what he calls inner/sacred technology and external/profane technology.

It is often quite easy to get into a situation. When the situation gets sticky, it is often really hard to get out.

The event included a hands-on challah baking, a candlestick-making workshop, and discussions of the uniqueness of the Jewish woman.

More Articles from Moishe Herskowitz
Herskowitz-Moishe-NEW

In fact Hashem sets up couples that have opposite traits as an opportunity for each to help, learn, and heal the other.

Herskowitz-Moishe-NEW

Your husband seems to have experienced what we have described as the Ambivalent Attachment.

Many times when a couple is arguing they may, unconsciously, trigger childhood anger. So much so, that if we would stop and listen to what they are arguing about, it would sounds like two eight year olds fighting in the back yard.

In my last article I had mentioned that often one of the symptoms of autophobia, a fear of abandonment, is that as adults people suffering with this condition may become extremely sensitive to rejection.

In part one (Family Issues 04-29-2011) we mentioned that often a symptom of the anxiety disorder, the fear of abandonment, is a strong need to be in control. That is because the person suffering from the disorder has lost someone in their past – due to separation, divorce or death – and may unconsciously blame themselves for the desertion.

The fear of abandonment, also known as autophobia, is an anxiety disorder characterized by an acute fear of being alone. Often, one of the symptoms of this particular anxiety is a strong need to be in control. This is because one has previously lost someone close through separation, divorce or death and may unconsciously blames his or herself for the event. When this happens, any type of separation may traumatize the person, even the marriage of his or her own child can be viewed as a life-threatening event.

The following was a letter sent as a response to the article, “Children of Shame” (02-04-2011). The article addressed the fact that children learn at a very young age to disconnect their feelings as a mechanism to end their feelings of shame. As these children become adults, they find it difficult to reconnect those out of fear that once again they will feel the pain of shame.

Children who grew up feeling shameful for the most part will have also grown up without someone to talk to about how it made them feel.

Shame is one of the most destructive feelings there is. It is a feeling that something is wrong within us and has a negative affect on a child’s self-development.

    Latest Poll

    The Obama administration's recordbreaking embrace of PUG (Palestinian Unity Government) with Hamas is...







    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/the-bum-class/2003/09/24/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: