Parents At Risk, Teens At Risk

Posted on: September 1st, 2010

When parents come to talk to me about a troubled teenager, I often find it helpful to explore whether or not their marriage is causing their teenager to be at risk.

When They’re Least Lovable

Posted on: August 25th, 2010

"I can't take it anymore!" "What happened? Is the baby teething again? You're exhausted." my husband asked, trying to read my thoughts, over the phone.

Our Son Wants To Leave Yeshiva

Posted on: August 25th, 2010

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: We were taken aback when our 18-year-old son just called us from Eretz Yisrael (we live in Europe) and told us that he was coming home and wants to immediately go to work. He said that he is wasting his time in yeshiva, and just can't take it anymore. He said that he will "run away from home" if we don't allow him to go to work.

Communicating With A Teenager

Posted on: August 18th, 2010

For both parents and teenagers alike, adolescence can be a very hard time. Unfortunately, when family life gets rough, communication tends to break down. And when it does, parents need to restore their ability to relate to their teenagers by learning about the rules of communication.

One Size Does Not Fit All Differentiated Instruction: Teaching Every Child How He Learns Best

Posted on: August 11th, 2010

In a bustling fifth grade class Moshe is listening to a tape-recorded reading of President Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, while Shmuel is writing a poem about a fight between brothers. Next to Moshe and Shmuel, Yerucham is reading an account of a former African-American slave.

Eight Ways To Stop Yelling At Your Kids

Posted on: August 4th, 2010

Many parents admit they yell too much, but do not know how to avoid exploding when irritated. It takes effort and discipline to defeat any addiction, whether it's overeating or cigarette smoking and the screaming addiction is no different. Thankfully, when we really want to grow spiritually, we are given Heavenly guidance.

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Communicating Effectively (Part III)

Posted on: July 21st, 2010

Recently, I asked a family friend, a financial advisor, to share with me his perspective on the importance of rapport in the world of sales. In a general way, I knew that successful salespeople maintain good rapport with their clients. And so I was curious. Was the need for developing rapport in business any different than doing so in a parent-child relationship? To that end, I posed the following questions: "How do you establish rapport with a new client? And what do you believe is a key issue to creating rapport?

Dealing With The Explosive Child

Posted on: July 21st, 2010

Kaboom! That's what we experience when there is an explosion. And that's exactly what we feel like when we are dealing with an "explosive" child. For those of you who don't understand what I'm talking about, consider yourselves blessed. But those who know exactly what it means for a child to "explode" for no apparent reason understand what a tremendous challenge this is. It's like living inside a simmering volcano. As one frustrated mother put it, "We are in a perpetual state of crisis."

The Arrowsmith Program

Posted on: July 19th, 2010

If you have a learning disabled child I don't have to tell you about the myriad direct and indirect related challenges and associated frustrations. No doubt, you know them all too well.

Spending and Investing

Posted on: July 15th, 2010

Francine has been coming to therapy for about a month. Her parents brought her due to problems and conflicts she was experiencing boat home, school and in the community. Like many teens, Francine did not see the value of therapy and felt the problems were only her parents' issues. Besides, if she needed to talk to anyone, she would speak with her friends.

Don’t Let Homesickness Spoil Your Child’s Summer

Posted on: June 30th, 2010

Every summer, all across America, parents put their children on buses bound for sleepaway camp. They wave good-bye, hoping their kids will have a wonderful time, make friends, learn new skills and come home happy and healthy. Hoping, sometimes, that the tears they see as the bus pulls away are just a fleeting show of regret at leaving home.

Teens Who Give Up Their Religion

Posted on: June 23rd, 2010

Let's look at an example of how mentoring improved the life of a teenager who had given up observing Jewish tradition.

Communicating Effectively (Part II)

Posted on: June 23rd, 2010

A political figure refuses to comment on a current news story in which he is involved.. In the hope of avoiding a scuffle with her parents, a teenager, who has broken curfew, quietly opens up the front door. As she makes a mad dash to her room, she tries to avoid being noticed and questioned. In both situations, a lack of communication may be perceived as failure on the part of the individual to take responsibility for his/her actions, and/or an admission of guilt. In such cases when the person does not say yes, the message being conveyed to others can be perceived as noby default, and vice versa.

De-escalating Crises at Home

Posted on: June 16th, 2010

Mr. and Mrs. S. came into the office with their ten-year-old daughter, Sharon. They were very distraught and had numerous complaints about Sharon’s behaviors. Not only was she having problems academically and behaviorally in school, but they also complained that every time they asked Sharon to do something at home it became a major altercation.

‘Kids In Pain’: Brooklyn’s Our Place Helps Teens At Risk Of Being Forgotten

Posted on: June 9th, 2010

It is a testament to the authenticity and devotion of the staff at Our Place - a group of drop-in centers in Flatbush that cater to what most people would simply term "at-risk" teens - that none of them wanted to be mentioned by name in this article. In fact, the majority of them were even cautious about speaking with a reporter, so protective are they of their children, whom they consider very nearly their own.

Mentoring

Posted on: June 9th, 2010

When the parent-teen relationship is strained or just needs improvement parents can utilize outside help to bring about a change. When necessary, one of the most effective ways of wielding indirect control is by having the teenager meet with a mentor. As a third person, uninvolved in family conflicts, a mentor is able to interact with a teenager and provide an informal means of solving problems at school, help the teen do homework or simply be a friend.

Communicating Effectively (Part I)

Posted on: May 17th, 2010

The Meaning of The Communication Is The Response It Elicits

Teaching Organization To Children

Posted on: May 12th, 2010

Dear Rivka, Help! My 8 year old daughter is terribly disorganized! Any tips for helping me help her change ? I am motivated to teach her as it is making me crazy.

Moti’s Street Clothes

Posted on: May 12th, 2010

I once received a call from a forty-seven year old distraught mother whose seventeen-year-old son Moti had changed his style of dress, wearing jeans and refusing to wear a hat. She explained that he had gone through a difficult time in school and was now hanging around the house instead of studying in yeshiva. He was also mixed up with the wrong crowd and was associating with at-risk teenagers late at night on the street. She was very concerned as she had an older son who had gone "off the path" and was worried that Moti was going in the same direction. She believed that Moti could be helped if he would be willing to talk with someone.

The Tyranny Of OCD

Posted on: May 5th, 2010

With Pesach behind us, what better time to take a closer look at the annual burst of intensity that propelled us, in the weeks and days leading to the yom tov, into a frenzy of cleaning? That sustained embrace of scrupulous cleaning offers insight into a subject that has lately received a great deal of attention in psycho-educational literature. The topic, OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, might be understood by comparing it with that exhausting endeavor from which many of us are just starting to recover.