web analytics
July 25, 2014 / 27 Tammuz, 5774
Israel at War: Operation Protective Edge
 
 
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post
IDC Advocacy Room IDC Fights War on Another Front

Student Union opens ‘hasbara’ room in effort to fill public diplomacy vacuum.



Help Wanted

Respler-040612

In therapy she learned to stop her silent treatment and incessant crying. It took a lot of courage, but she would sometimes laugh at the joke publicly and then tell him privately that she laughed so as not to embarrass him, but that his joke had hurt her. She would tell him calmly that she knew he did not mean to hurt her, and would ask him to think before speaking. She continued to treat him respectfully, and spoke to him calmly.

At first the husband was totally unprepared for her reaction and did not know how to respond. However, she kept on firmly telling him how he had hurt her, but insinuated that perhaps he did not do it on purpose. This continued until the husband finally admitted that he hated himself for hurting her. He decided to attempt to change his behavior.

He reached the conclusion that he needed help in bolstering his self-esteem, since he acted this way publicly due to his own insecurity. Since his wife created a loving and warm atmosphere whereby she accepted him and changed her countermove when he embarrassed her, he eventually attended therapy to learn how to behave differently in social situations. In therapy he realized that his mother had always embarrassed him publicly.  What he had been doing was considered a “repetition compulsion,” where he repeated his mother’s behavior, but focusing it on his wife.  He was finally able to control his behavior and their marriage became loving and respectful.

These examples show that it is possible to change a marriage by initiating therapy on your own. In both cases the reluctant spouse entered treatment after seeing the marriage partner change his or her countermoves.

Hatzlachah in your quest to improve your marriage. I hope the aforementioned examples help you make the right choice and assist you in getting the help that you need!

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Help Wanted”

Comments are closed.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Current Top Story
Hamas terrorists often misfire their rockets that explode in Gaza civilians areas.
‘Hamas Fired from UN School Area and Prevented Evacuation’ Says IDF
Latest Sections Stories
WC-072514-TCLA

“You Touro graduates are automatically soldiers in [Israel’s] struggle, and we count on you,” Rothstein told the graduates.

A-Night-Out-logo

The lemonana was something else. Never had we seen a green drink look so enticing.

Singer-072514

On his marriage, he wrote: “This is what I believe: something of the core, of the essence of this meaningful and life-affirming Judaism will not be absent from our home” (1882).

With the recent kidnapping by the Hamas and the barbaric murder of three children – Gilad Shaar, Eyal Yifrach and Naftali Frankel, we believe that the best answer to honor the memory of those murdered is to continue building those very communities – large and small – that our enemies are trying to destroy.

Written entirely through Frayda’s eyes, the reader is drawn by her unassuming personality.

Adopting an ancient exegetical approach that is based on midrashic readings of the text, thematic connections that span between various books of the Bible are revealed.

While Lipman comes from an ultra-Orthodox background and is an Orthodox rabbi, he offers a breath of fresh air when he suggests that “polarization caused by extremism and isolationism in the religious community may be the greatest internal threat to the future of the Jewish people”

The Joys of Yiddish, Leo Rosten defines a mentch as “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character.”

Certainly today’s communication via e-mail, Facebook, Twitter and the like, including the ubiquitous Whatsapp, has reduced the need to talk with people and communicate at length.

These two special women utilized their incredibly painful experience as an opportunity to assist others.

Maybe we don’t have to lose that growth and unity that we have achieved, especially with the situation in Eretz Yisrael right now.

Sleepily, I watched him kissing Mai’s chubby thighs.

I have always insisted that everything that happens to anyone or anything is min Shamayim.

More Articles from Dr. Yael Respler
Respler-071814

My teachers like me and they tell my parents that I am a great girl with good middos.

Respler-071114

Some yeshivish couples do not believe in going out with other couples, but that does not mean that the women cannot have social lives.

In my experience, modern schools tend to be more open-minded toward other flavors of Judaism.

I was called to the principal’s office and shown a picture my daughter had drawn.

“Where was this guy when I was dating?”

We must be honest about whether this shidduch “crisis” is self-made, and how much of it is really a crisis at all.

Being a teacher requires more than just knowing the material.

She compares me to her romance “heroes,” and I seem to always fall short of her expectations.

    Latest Poll

    Do you think the FAA ban on US flights to Israel is political?






    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/marriage-relationships/help-wanted/2012/04/05/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: