On Our Own/Cheryl Kupfer

I recently attended an out-of-town simcha. Among the guests were several acquaintances whom I hadn't seen in several years.

Dear Readers: Everywhere you turn, it seems that people are beset with so many problems and worries; some are financial in nature, some revolve around social issues like shidduchim and marriage, some involve setbacks and losses, and the non-actualization of the vision we had of how the days of our lives would play out.

During Yom Tov, a group of my friends - all middle-aged ( but youthful of course) babyboomers were chatting about the usual things women smooze about when one of them shared with us the call she had recently gotten from her son-in-law's mother.

Last month, I had the privilege - and I do mean privilege – of attending an event at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Toronto hosted by the Canadian Friends of Machon Lev, the Jerusalem College of Technology (JCT), at which an honorary degree was bestowed on John Baird, Canada’s Foreign Affairs Minister.

One of the subjects I was taught as a young child in school was Tefillah. Since we spoke only Ivrit during our Limudei Kodesh and secular Hebrew studies - literature, creative writing and Jewish history - we pretty much understood the words we were davening.

A situation that I’m sure happens way too often is when a friend or relative pressures someone who can’t afford to lose money to “invest in a sure thing.”

According to the Talmud (Ta'anit 30b-31a), on the 15th of Av unmarried girls would dress in plain white clothing, so that those from wealthy families could not be distinguished from the poorer ones.

As I eyed the delicious, calorie-rich dessert buffet at a singles event I recently attended, I surveyed the crowd surging around me, and contemplated what, in the scheme of things was harder to do - lose weight or set people up. Both are very challenging, require a lot of "will" power - combined with tons of resolve, patience - and most importantly, "pep" talking.

There are judges and lawyers both in secular and religious courts who ignored the facts so as to curry favor with the more prominent party in a financial or custody dispute. They frame their actions as being halachically justifiable.

In my previous column, I noted that the typical response to a tragedy in the heimishe community is a call forteshuvah. Almost always, the two "culprits" singled out for the cause of our misfortunes and in most need of repair are shmiras halashon and a lack of tznuit. I stated my belief that these are just two of the many components of a more insidious behavior that is pandemic in our community - that being the wanton, often deliberate action of misleading and fooling people into doing things that ultimately are detrimental and even ruinous to them.

Neglect, indifference or criticism can break a person's neshama.

Just days ago millions of people's lives across the country were impacted by severe unrelenting weather in the form of snowstorms, torrential rains, hurricane force winds and tornadoes.

One of the subjects I was taught as a young child in the excellent day school I attended in Toronto (at the time called Associated Hebrew Day Schools) was Tefillah.

There is another element to mindful walking that I want to point out – being on guard against those who deliberately want to disturb or cause harm.

I know that in the great scheme of things, these irritants are minor, but they do tend to add up.

Was it possible that these butchers of Jewish children had been living the "good life" all these years?

The poem "The Road Not Taken" by renowned American poet Robert Frost expresses the gnawing curiosity that a traveler knows he will always have about the road that he didn't take.

Just days ago, millions of people all over the world welcomed in the secular new year of 2008.

I'm not quite ready yet to shut the door on Purim. Perhaps it's my way of avoiding dealing with Pesach, and the physical and emotional effort that comes with it.

I wrote a version of the poem below many years ago, before the term "shidduch crisis" came into vogue.

A recent article that appeared on the haredi website, yeshivaworld.com, described how askanim in Israel had approached HaRav Aryeh Yehuda Leib Shteinman, shlita, armed with a kol korei against vacations during bein hazmanim. Their goal was to get his haskamah in their mission to stop bachurim from doing what they felt was an inappropriate and wasteful use of time - hiking, swimming, nature walking, sightseeing, etc. (generally vacationing from their studies).

Some may say that certain unlikely events and their timing are a matter coincidence, but we who believe that Hashem is the Eternal Mastermind of the Universe - know better.

There are dissenting opinions by health experts globally, especially now, a year later, but it’s not that simple to uproot yourself and go to a less hysterical jurisdiction.

Why did no one speak up and warn this young lady?

Unpleasant happenings are quickly discarded if they do not affect us directly.

Like an oversized umbrella it covered the entire land.

It goes without saying that the process of getting set up on marriage-oriented dates, going out several times and eventually making the decision that "this is the one" is emotionally and even physically taxing. However, as hard as getting to the chuppah may be - being happily and successfully married is even more difficult and challenging. Two diverse individuals with distinctive mindsets, shaped by their unique experiences from the minute they were born, must suddenly mesh their way of looking at things and their way of reacting to them.

As my friend Eve (not her real name) and I started filling our plates at a recent buffet dinner, she commented that lucky for her, her mother wasn't with us.

In cyberspace, the virtual sky's the limit in the game of one-upmanship.

Uttering this plea is my verbal version of going after rodfei Yisrael. In Jewish law, one can initiate pre-emptive self-defense, and "take out" someone before they do it to you.