web analytics
April 18, 2015 / 29 Nisan, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Special Purimshpiel Edition

Question: What will you dress up as this Purim?

 

 



It’s imperative that I boost my popularity now that we are down to the nitty-gritty of the campaign. I will emulate the character of Alvin from that lovable cartoon group Alvin and the Chipmunks. I think I already have his facial features down pat, especially when I smile and laugh.


- Hillary Clinton, U.S. senator, presidential hopeful



 


 


I will be the famous television preacher Joel Osteen, since like him I am a devout Christian. This costume isn’t much of a stretch of the imagination since I love the Christian religion. I will wear a “blinged”-out cross around my neck and carry my favorite copy of the King James Bible, which is also diamond encrusted since in our family we honor and celebrate our religion every day. Just ask my longtime pastor, Jeremiah Wright. Hallelujah, praise the Lord! 


- Barack Obama, U.S. senator, presidential hopeful


 


 


I will dress up as an upper-class elegant woman. I am so mortified after this election that I need to escape for a while and go into hiding. You know, during and after 9/11 many New Yorkers told me I have such compassionate eyes, so why not accentuate them with some mascara? Even during 9/11, while I was deeply involved with repairing the city, I always made sure my shoes matched my suit. So now this Purim I’m taking it to the next level. Did I mention 9/11?


- Rudy Giuliani, failed presidential candidate


 

 

 

 

 



They say leprechauns are fictional characters but I will, by donning their traditional neon green suit and buckle shoes, finally prove to the uneducated Western world that they do exist. We in Iran know full well that leprechauns do exist; they are our allies who jointly work with us to “catch me lucky charms” – which is code for taking over the whole world. Certain things in life are make-believe – women’s rights, free speech, a fantasyland called Israel – but leprechauns are all too real.


- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranian president

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Special Purimshpiel Edition”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Daniel Lubetzky  president of V15 and CEO of Kind "healthy" bars
No Victory for V15 and Not Healthy ‘Healthy’ Snack Bars
Latest Sections Stories
Lewis-041715-Jewish-Soldiers

During the Second World War, a million and a half Jewish soldiers fought in the Allied armies, the Partisan units in Eastern Europe, and the anti-fascist underground movements in Western Europe and North Africa. These Jewish fighters won over 200,000 medals and citations. The Museum of the Jewish Soldier in World War II in Latrun, […]

Jerusalem Heights Penthouse

The 2-day real estate event will take place in Brooklyn on April 26 and 27.

Schonfeld-logo1

She wasn’t paying attention to what the child did when the mother was not in the room. Rather, her main focus was on what the child did when the mother returned.

The Mets at least have hope for the future with some good young pitchers.

French thinkers of the Enlightenment were generally not pro-Semitic, to say the least.

My Jewish star was battered, indeed it was a wreck
But I picked it up anyway and put it around my neck
To know that hatred mangled it was surely very painful
But just the same to me it is still very beautiful.

A compulsion is a repetitive action. But what underlies the compulsion is an obsession or fear.

When any student in the building is in danger of failing, the equivalent of tornado warning sirens should wail around the school.

It goes without saying that when it comes to your kids, safety is always your number one priority.

After the last of Austria’s Jews were murdered, Albert confiscated whatever Jewish property remained.

How can you expect people who go through such gehenom to even know how to give warmth and love?

More Articles from Ita Yankovich
Yankovitch-030714-Houston

Wouldn’t it be great if you had a chavrusa working with you, guiding and helping you in your work environment?

Yankovitch-071913-uniform

In a time when service to one’s community seems to be a forgotten ideal, it is our pleasure to continue sharing with you the stories of those men and women who were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.

The Jewish Press recently sat down with Chaya Lipschutz, a Brooklyn woman who saved the life of a stranger.

In the past, people used to turn to coffee or orange juice to get through a midday slump, but today, many are turning to power and energy drinks for a quicker and longer-lasting jolt. The power drink industry is booming with projected sales of $9 billion and no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Every week nearly three million viewers tune into the Bravo cable channel to watch the hit reality franchise “The Real Housewives” – several shows that follow the lives of affluent housewives and professional women residing in several American metropolitan areas (“The Real Housewives of New York,” “The Real Housewives of Los Angeles,” of Miami, of Atlanta, etc.).

Not too many Jewish World War II survivors from Germany can say that they had the distinction of being both interned in a concentration camp and liberating the captives in that same camp. Erwin Weinberg did just that.

Recently I had the opportunity to spend some times with Bernard (Bernie) Walz and get a glimpse of his war experiences.

As I approached the home of Irving and Miriam Borenstein in the Mill Basin section of Brooklyn, two things became clear: the pride they feel at being Jewish and their joy at living in America. On their front lawn are large American and Israeli flags with a plaque in front which reads:

Never forget the six million murdered in the Holocaust and the three thousand murdered on 9/11.

May G-d remember them for the good with the other righteous of the world.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/special-purimshpiel-edition/2008/03/19/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: