web analytics
August 5, 2015 / 20 Av, 5775
At a Glance
Sections
Sponsored Post


Special Purimshpiel Edition

Question: What will you dress up as this Purim?

 

 



It’s imperative that I boost my popularity now that we are down to the nitty-gritty of the campaign. I will emulate the character of Alvin from that lovable cartoon group Alvin and the Chipmunks. I think I already have his facial features down pat, especially when I smile and laugh.


– Hillary Clinton, U.S. senator, presidential hopeful



 


 


I will be the famous television preacher Joel Osteen, since like him I am a devout Christian. This costume isn’t much of a stretch of the imagination since I love the Christian religion. I will wear a “blinged”-out cross around my neck and carry my favorite copy of the King James Bible, which is also diamond encrusted since in our family we honor and celebrate our religion every day. Just ask my longtime pastor, Jeremiah Wright. Hallelujah, praise the Lord! 


– Barack Obama, U.S. senator, presidential hopeful


 


 


I will dress up as an upper-class elegant woman. I am so mortified after this election that I need to escape for a while and go into hiding. You know, during and after 9/11 many New Yorkers told me I have such compassionate eyes, so why not accentuate them with some mascara? Even during 9/11, while I was deeply involved with repairing the city, I always made sure my shoes matched my suit. So now this Purim I’m taking it to the next level. Did I mention 9/11?


– Rudy Giuliani, failed presidential candidate


 

 

 

 

 



They say leprechauns are fictional characters but I will, by donning their traditional neon green suit and buckle shoes, finally prove to the uneducated Western world that they do exist. We in Iran know full well that leprechauns do exist; they are our allies who jointly work with us to “catch me lucky charms” – which is code for taking over the whole world. Certain things in life are make-believe – women’s rights, free speech, a fantasyland called Israel – but leprechauns are all too real.


– Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iranian president

About the Author:


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “Special Purimshpiel Edition”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
Grafitti on the walls of the Church of the Multiplication at Tabgha, on the Sea of Galilee, in northern Israel, which was set on fire in June 2015.
6 Months’ Jail Without Trial for Jewish Teen Linked to Church Arson
Latest Sections Stories
South-Florida-logo

An impressive group of counselors and staff members are providing the boys and girls with a summer of fun and Torah learning and a lifetime of wonderful memories.

South-Florida-logo

Rabbi Sam Intrator recently led a summer program in Williams Island, located in Aventura. The event focused on how to find spiritual joy in Judaism. The rabbi cited biblical and Talmudic teachings, ancient Temple rituals, and the words of prayers to establish the role that love and positive thinking have in Torah values. Rabbi Intrator […]

South-Florida-logo

The Iranian deal was sealed on July 14, four and a half months after Netanyahu’s visit. The details of the agreement were shocking and worse than anyone had imagined.

There are so many toys available for newborn to age 5, but how do you choose?

In 1939, with life getting harder for Jews, she and several friends decided it was time to make aliyah, and applied at the Palestina Amt for permits.

I am not sure how many of you readers have had this experience, but I did and it truly tested the limits of my sanity!

Aside from my own 485-page tome on the subject, Red Army, I think Jamie Glazov did an excellent job at framing things in United in Hate: The Left’s Romance with Tyranny and Terror.

We studied his seforim together, we listened to famous cantorial masters and we spoke of his illustrious yichus, his pedigree, dating back to the famous commentator, Rashi.

Jews who were considered, but not ultimately selected, include Woody Allen, Saul Bellow, David Ben-Gurion, Marc Chagall, Anne Frank, and Barbra Streisand.

More Articles from Ita Yankovich
Yankovitch-030714-Houston

Wouldn’t it be great if you had a chavrusa working with you, guiding and helping you in your work environment?

Yankovitch-071913-uniform

In a time when service to one’s community seems to be a forgotten ideal, it is our pleasure to continue sharing with you the stories of those men and women who were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for freedom.

The Jewish Press recently sat down with Chaya Lipschutz, a Brooklyn woman who saved the life of a stranger.

In the past, people used to turn to coffee or orange juice to get through a midday slump, but today, many are turning to power and energy drinks for a quicker and longer-lasting jolt. The power drink industry is booming with projected sales of $9 billion and no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Every week nearly three million viewers tune into the Bravo cable channel to watch the hit reality franchise “The Real Housewives” – several shows that follow the lives of affluent housewives and professional women residing in several American metropolitan areas (“The Real Housewives of New York,” “The Real Housewives of Los Angeles,” of Miami, of Atlanta, etc.).

Not too many Jewish World War II survivors from Germany can say that they had the distinction of being both interned in a concentration camp and liberating the captives in that same camp. Erwin Weinberg did just that.

Recently I had the opportunity to spend some times with Bernard (Bernie) Walz and get a glimpse of his war experiences.

As I approached the home of Irving and Miriam Borenstein in the Mill Basin section of Brooklyn, two things became clear: the pride they feel at being Jewish and their joy at living in America. On their front lawn are large American and Israeli flags with a plaque in front which reads:

Never forget the six million murdered in the Holocaust and the three thousand murdered on 9/11.

May G-d remember them for the good with the other righteous of the world.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/magazine/potpourri/special-purimshpiel-edition/2008/03/19/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: