web analytics
June 30, 2015 / 13 Tammuz, 5775
At a Glance
Judaism
Sponsored Post


A Child-Centric Seder

Neuman-033012-seder-table

Every family needs to create realistic expectations for their seder in advance. Typically, couples do not discuss how the seder will work and how to create the best environment for the family and guests involved. However, doing so will ensure that you are both on the same page. You might consider including your children in some part of the discussion – it is a great way to learn what parts of the seder are important to them.

Finally, think about how wonderful you can make this Pesach for your children and guests and how that will ultimately decide how they will look at Pesach in the future. I recently heard a story from Rabbi Topp, rabbi of Beth Jacob in Beverly Hills, that I found so meaningful and which I believe can be helpful to all of us as we plan our sedarim.

A man fell in love with a beautiful, silver kos Eliyahu but it would have been a financial stretch for him to purchase it. He asked his rav what to do and his rav told him that if he bought this kos, the rav personally guaranteed that Eliyahu HaNavi would come to his seder. Needless to say he purchased the kos and was thrilled as the seder approached. However, Eliyahu HaNavi did not appear. He visited the rav the next morning to relay the news. The rav asked him if he had many guests and did he engage much with his little children during the seder. The man replied that he did not. The rav assured him that the next year, if he followed through, Eliyahu would indeed grace his seder.

The following year, he invited many more people and he spent the majority of his time delighting his young children with wonderful stories of the Hagaddah but to his great frustration, Eliyahu did not show. He reported this to his rav.

“Did you have many guests?” his rav asked. He responded that he did. In fact, he explained that some of them would not have had a seder at all if not for his invite.

“Did you focus on your children?” the rav continued. He responded with an enthusiastic “yes” recalling the loving and meaningful time and energy he had focused on his kids.

“Don’t you see then,” the rav explained, “Eliyahu did attend your seder. YOU were Eliyahu to those guests and your children.”

Too often we wait for someone to bring joy and meaning into our lives, when we can assume the role of giver – helping and loving others. Spend some time not only making this Pesach a kosher one, but a festive and loving one as well.

About the Author: M. Gary Neuman is a psychotherapist, rabbi, and New York Times best-selling author. He is the creator of NeumanMethod.com video programs for marriages and parenting.


If you don't see your comment after publishing it, refresh the page.

Our comments section is intended for meaningful responses and debates in a civilized manner. We ask that you respect the fact that we are a religious Jewish website and avoid inappropriate language at all cost.

If you promote any foreign religions, gods or messiahs, lies about Israel, anti-Semitism, or advocate violence (except against terrorists), your permission to comment may be revoked.

No Responses to “A Child-Centric Seder”

Comments are closed.

Current Top Story
The new security fence is under construction along the Israel-Egypt border.
Israel to Extend Security Fence Along Eastern Border
Latest Judaism Stories
Staum-062615

Amalek, our ultimate foe, understood that when unified, we are invincible and indestructible.

Torat-Hakehillah-logo-NEW

Perhaps on a deeper level, the mitzvah of parah adumah at this junction was not just to purify the body, but the spirit as well.

Rabbi Avi Weiss

Halacha isn’t random; it’s a mechanism guiding individuals and society to a higher ethical plateau.

Q-A-Klass-logo

Question: Should we wash our hands in the bathroom with soap and water, or by pouring water from a vessel with handles three times, alternating hands? I have heard it said that a vessel is used only in the morning upon awakening. What are the rules pertaining to young children? What is the protocol if no vessel is available? Additionally, may we dry our hands via an electric dryer?

Harry Koenigsberg
(Via E-Mail)

Less clear, however, is whether the concept applies to the area of civil law such as the law of transfer of property.

The greatest of men, Moshe, had to wait for Hashem to sprinkle purifying waters on Bnei Yisrael to mark the conclusion of the period of death.

My Plate, My Food
‘My Loaf Is Forbidden To You’
(Nedarim 34b)

Of Chukkim “Satan and the nations of the world made fun.” They may appear irrational & superstitious

I realized from this story that I was sent as a messenger from above. Hashem has many helpers in this world to help do his work.

Tosafos answers that nevertheless the sprinkling is a part of his taharah process.

“What difference does that make?” replied Shraga. “What counts is the agreement that we made. I said two hundred fifty and you accepted.”

Zaidie’s legacy of smiles and loving words was all but buried with him, now the family fights over $

Israel’s complaining frustrated Moshe, making it increasingly hard for him to lead effectively

Dovid’s musical Torah teachings were designed to penetrate the soul and the emotions.

It occurred to me, as my brain rattled in my skull on a two-hundred mile ride through rural Virginia, that our souls work in much the same way.

More Articles from Rabbi M. Gary Neuman
Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary

Are we allowed to lie for shalom bayis? It would seem so, but what might be a healthy guideline for when it’s okay and when it’s not?

Neuman-Rabbi-M-Gary

Sacrifice is the backbone of our souls. It indicates self-regulation for a higher purpose.

Spoiler Alert: Going to see the movie “Saving Mr. Banks”, starring Tom Hanks is not like going to Disney World. Well, it is like going to Disney World if you go mid-August with your triplet toddlers, feed them all cotton candy, and lose your car because you forgot you parked in Pluto 7.394. It’s not a happy Disney movie.

Stacy and George walked out of the marriage counselor’s office angrier than when they arrived. It was their third session and this last fight over his ex-wife wasn’t going away. The fifty minutes spent embroiled in a detailed account of their battle only fired up their anger – and the counselor’s request to remember how much they love each other wasn’t helping. It would be a week before the next session and both of them were already talking about not coming back.

The therapeutic alliance has always been about a firm connection between patient and counselor. There has always been one primary standard – physically meeting in an office setting. There might be some phone calls in between sessions or to bridge some vacation gap. But therapy has always been about a feeling of connectivity and there is no better way to do this than face-to-face.

Cindy is 43, successful, attractive, a dedicated mom, extremely caring… and she hates herself. She doesn’t readily admit this, but spend a minute inside her head and you’ll discover the resounding messages revolving around negative rants – everything from “I failed” to “I should’ve done better.” You wouldn’t know it from her behavior. She’s a high functioning, regular member of society.

As adults who were children of divorce know, healing does not occur through time alone. In fact, my research found that only 46% said they had a positive relationship with their fathers as adults.

Stacy and Michael walked out of the marriage counselor’s office angrier than when they arrived. It was their third session and this last fight over his ex wife wasn’t going away. The fifty minutes embroiled in a detailed outline of the battle only fired up their anger and the counselor’s request to remember how much they love each other wasn’t helping. It would be a week before the next session and both of them were already talking about not returning for therapy.

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/judaism/holidays/a-child-centric-seder/2012/03/29/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: