web analytics

Control Issue

15 Iyyar 5770 – April 28, 2010
In our rapidly changing world, the idea of control has begun to change quicker than anyone can imagine. A metamorphosis of unparalleled proportion is taking place and many parents feel that they are unequipped to deal with the challenges that it will demand.

Toby’s Secret Dating

19 Nisan 5770 – April 2, 2010
Ruth had just recently discovered (from another parent) that Toby had been secretly dating a boy for over a year. When she confronted Toby about her boyfriend, Toby had adamantly refused to admit that she was secretly seeing anyone. Ruth was extremely distraught to realize that her daughter would do something against her wishes and asked if I could help.

Oh, So Angry (Part IV)

14 Nisan 5770 – March 29, 2010
This is the fourth and final part on my series on anger, apersonal control and anger management. I believe there are several major beliefs one needs to appreciate when it comes to understanding anger, angry people and controlling anger and other emotions - let's call then the "secrets of anger." An important definition to remember before we discuss these secrets is that when something happens that causes us to have strong emotions, the thing happening is referred to as a trigger.

How To Combat Classroom Bullying

9 Nisan 5770 – March 24, 2010
Two months into the school year, Shonnie's enthusiasm for school inexplicably took a nose dive. Her morning routines seemed to take her forever. The 7 year-old reacted to her mother's exasperation by turning sulky and tearful. With increasing frequency she missed the bus and needed to be driven to school.

Choices

In most homes, as women prepare to join the Seder (hopefully, somewhat rested), the anticipatory anxiety associated with the "P" word (pre-Pesach angst) is no longer. The cleaning, preparations, shopping and cooking are now a thing of the past. And finally, the Hagaddah's legacy of yetzias Mitzrayim (exodus from Egypt) takes front stage.

Debbie’s Body Piercing

5 Nisan 5770 – March 19, 2010
Referring back to our earlier case of Debbie’s body piercing, let’s see how using knowledge of Debbie’s inner world and the power of spending quality time together can help her parents connect to her.

Oh, So Angry (Part III)

2 Nisan 5770 – March 17, 2010
In continuing our discussion on anger management, I would like to share some basic beliefs that one must understand in their journey to anger management (which I also referred to as personal control). As we have previously discussed, anger control is directly related to self-esteem and confidence. That is, the better the self-esteem, the more capable the person will be in controlling emotions. Also, related to this is the concept we refer to as "shame."

Controlling Your Teenager (Continued From 2/19/10 Issue)

20 Adar 5770 – March 5, 2010
The fifth pillar of the inner world is what the eminent psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl called the “Will to Meaning.” This desire for meaning implies wanting to know the whys of life and not just the hows.

Oh, So Angry (Part II)

17 Adar 5770 – March 3, 2010
In Part I of this four-part series, I introduced you to Aaron and his extreme anger. I ended that article with, "I must say that as I was describing this theory, Aaron's mouth dropped open, his eyes grew wide and tears formed in his eyes as he moved closer in his chair. The only thing he could say was, "How did you know?" With that comment, Aaron and I started a remarkable relationship. With all the counselors he had been to over the years, Aaron said that no one really understood him. Here was the angry young man who didn't want to be there, fully engaged and ready to work, ready to share his pain, ready to begin a trusting relationship."

School Bus Safety

I want to make it clear that this article in no way is meant to blame any of the people involved in what appears, by all accounts, to have been a tragic accident when a Brooklyn school bus killed a 4-year-old boy in Boro Park on February 17. But as a father who knows the pain of burying his own children only too well, I believe that it is important to ask if there is any room for improvement in our school bus safety procedures.

Controlling Your Teenager

6 Adar 5770 – February 19, 2010
As children move from infancy into middle and later childhood, they have a growing need for control over their environment. To meet this need, teenagers must be given reasonable power to make choices about what they eat, whom they play with, and what extracurricular activities they participate in.

Oh, So Angry (Part I)

3 Adar 5770 – February 17, 2010
Dr. and Mrs. Schwartz came into the office looking very tired, stressed, despondent and unsure of themselves. They came without Aaron because he had refused to come to the appointment. He claimed that at 15 he could decide for himself if, and when, he would come to appointments about his life. They began by describing an extraordinarily angry young man.

Self Esteem, Individuality and Love for Teenagers

22 Shevat 5770 – February 5, 2010
We often use the expressions "good self-esteem” or "poor self-esteem” to describe people’s evaluation of their own worth. When people have good self-esteem, they tend to view life from a positive perspective, seeing their potential value. Poor or low self-esteem causes people to feel that everything they do in life is a losing battle and that they always get the short end of the stick.

A Validating Experience (Part IV)

19 Shevat 5770 – February 3, 2010
What does it mean to be validated? In what areas of life can one expect to be validated? What attitude, behaviors or actions convey a message (or feeling) to someone that s/he is being validated? How does one validate, or invalidate? What benefits are there to validating and being validated - in the short term as well as long term?

The Arrowsmith Program: Opening Vistas of Opportunity for the Learning Disabled

12 Shevat 5770 – January 27, 2010
If you are a parent, chances are that you have enjoyed reading Herman Parish's series of children's books based on the outrageous character, Amelia Bedelia. All decked out in her housekeeper headgear and apron, Amelia is perpetually getting into trouble at the Rogers' home. Inevitably misconstruing her bosses' instructions, her resulting hysterical antics never fail to entertain young and old.

The Roadmap To Your Teenager’s Inner Worlds

6 Shevat 5770 – January 20, 2010
Relating to their teenager can be easier than most parents think, especially when they learn about the key areas that can sustain the relationship: connection, control, and communication.

Temper Tantrums

Dear Rabbi Horowitz: Our 10-year-old son, the oldest of our six children, has a very strong-willed personality and is very energetic. He has a very hard time sitting in school all day. (He attends school from 8:30 a.m.-4:45 p.m.) At home, he is frustrated with having to sit and do his homework. He often has temper tantrums when asked to do his work. My husband says that he is lazy and self-centered. I agree, in part, but isn't this what all children are like? Don't we have to teach them how to act properly? Thanks, Rachel

When Touch Gets Too Touchy

Most people don't think much about their socks, but for eight-year-old Suri W., they are all-important today. The seams at her toes are terribly irritating. Suri spent an inordinate amount of time this morning getting them into a perfect position. But now, three hours later, they apparently shifted. The teacher's voice has receded into the background; a friend's request for a pencil has gone unheeded. The itch has taken over.

A Validating Experience (Part III)

In the first two parts of this four-part series, we discussed the need to validate someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one. Utilizing a Rabbinic illustration, we presented the story of Rav Yochanan ben Zakai when he sat shivah for his son. The focus was on his receiving consolation: why he received comfort from his one student, Rav Elazer ben Aruch, and not from his other four students. Now let us move to a Biblical backdrop as we continue.

Childhood Resilience

28 Tevet 5770 – January 13, 2010
Why is it that one youth involved in a trauma or difficult situation seems to bounce right back with little effect on his daily functioning while another youth seems to take forever to get back to his usual self?

Latest News Stories


Sponsored Post

Recommended Today


Something Random from the Week

Printed from: http://www.jewishpress.com/sections/family/parenting-our-children/control-issue/2010/04/28/

Scan this QR code to visit this page online: