Latest update: May 22nd, 2012
3) Try to get close with your mother-in-law. Call and talk to her about her family or about any problems you know she is experiencing. If you know this will make her uncomfortable, then talk to her about your children and ask her for her advice and opinions. Even if you don’t need her ideas, pretend that you do and make her believe that her advice and opinions are important to you. If you ever follow her advice, make sure to let her know that it produced great results.
At the next simcha, sit next to her and talk about something you know she likes. Compliment her on a dish that she prepared, and ask her for the recipe and how to make it as well as she does. If you notice that she needs help with something, volunteer to do it for her. While this step might seem useless, the more you have these types of conversations with your mother-in-law the more she will feel that she is needed. This will make her feel much closer to you, and ultimately she will be more comfortable helping you.
If you follow these three steps, I am confident that you will notice that your mother-in-law will help you more often and be more supportive. I bet it will even get to a point where your sisters-in-law will become jealous of you!
Simple Yet Powerful Thoughts
Dear Simple Yet Powerful Thoughts:
Thank you for your insightful and helpful letter. I think your ideas will help to bring shalom and create better relationships between daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law. Your ideas can be helpful in all relationships. It is important for all of us to remember to be appreciative of others and judge them favorably. Thank you again for writing and may Hashem give you hatzlachah in all your endeavors!Dr. Yael Respler
About the Author: Dr. Yael Respler is a psychotherapist in private practice who provides marital, dating and family counseling. Dr. Respler also deals with problems relating to marital intimacy. Letters may be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org. To schedule an appointment, please call 917-751-4887. Dr. Orit Respler-Herman, a child psychologist, co-authors this column and is now in private practice providing complete pychological evaluations as well as child and adolescent therapy. She can be reached at 917-679-1612. Previous columns can be viewed at www.jewishpress.com and archives of Dr. Respler’s radio shows can be found at www.dryaelrespler.com.
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