Matzel Toff? Really?

Punning might be the most annoying form of art save for mime (a punning mime, now that would be hateful). Check out the Monday NY Post (a paper known for outrageous punning, not enough mime) for verification. They claim that an outfit named Urban Nosh, which got its start making Matzel Toff, a chocolate-covered matzah, is adding a new, year-round version of the same dubious treat, called Matzel Bits, and are also conspiring to launch yet another new product, called Holy Macaroons. Help…?

Supreme Court Won’t Hear ‘Birther’ Appeal, Obama May Be American After All

Believe it or not, the birther effort to de-legitimize the Barack Obama presidency may be officially over. The Supreme Court refused to hear a challenge to Obama's U.S. citizenship and, consequently, to his eligibility to be the country's commander in chief.

Presidential Conference “Facing Tomorrow” While Facing Away from Observant Jews

Who on those panels has any connection whatsoever to me, to my shul, to our children? What does any of those folks know about the explosion of Torah learning in Israel, about our packed houses of worship, about our proliferation of loan societies, about our irrepressible demographics?

Video: Netanya Purim Carnival—Sassy, Noisy, Happy

We went out to watch the Purim Parade in our sweet town of Netanya, and for a few hours were transported to a care-free world, somewhere between Disneyland and New Orleans. Our daughter Yarden said, Purim is like Halloween but without dead people. Everyone was distinctly alive in Netanya this Purim. And everyone seemed to take very seriously the idea of the Purim happy noise. Even the babies.

Monastery Door Set on Fire and Jesus Called ‘Monkey’ – But Are You Sure...

Police said they suspect this is a response to the evacuation of Migron on Sunday. I have my doubts.

Video: In Role Reversal, McCain Critical of Obama’s ‘in Your Face’ on Pakistan

What's wrong with this picture? Why didn't anybody tell me Sen. John McCain has joined the left wing of the Democratic party?

Seattle LGBT to Visiting Israeli Homosexuals: Gay Aveck!

In the solidarity business, life can be unpredictable. Take, for instance, the story of the LGBT commission representing the gay community in Seattle, which this month canceled a Friday reception at City Hall for a visiting delegation of Israeli gay leaders. They argued that Israel was "pinkwashing" its treatment of the Palestinians by showing the world how fabulous they are on gay rights.

National Yiddish Theater to Honor Neil Sedaka

Bet you didn't expect to find those two components, Yiddish theater and Neil Sedaka in the same headline. Well, now you have! The National Yiddish Theater Folksbiene will be honoring pop singer-songwriter Neil Sedaka, the son of a Turkish Jew father and a Polish-Russian Jewish mother, at its 2012 annual gala, June 12, at New York’s Town Hall.

The Zionist Girl the Jewish Federations Love to Hate

My friend and colleague Lori Lowenthal Marcus writes today in Arutz 7 about her entanglements with the Jewish Federations of North America, and how, instead of confirming or denying a simple question she posed to them, they chose instead to start a campaign of personal attacks against her.

At Last, Shimon Peres Gets his US Citizenship

Of course, it's just a typo, but, you know, come to think of it, wouldn't many of us have preferred it if Shimon were to do what he does on the other side of the pond?

Swing States: Obama Ahead Everywhere but N. Carolina

There's only one bit of good news for the Romney campaign in the all-important swing state polls this weekend.

Arabs Attacking Jews in NJ Primary

With the race between two fellow Dems getting to the finish line, many fear that it has given rise to the first bona fide Jewish versus Arab competition, and an ugly one at that. The battle "has transformed into a troubling ethnic brawl."

Church Official: ‘If You Flatten a Globe, Israel Is at the Center’

Malcolm Hedding, an associate pastor of the World Outreach Church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, was executive director of International Christian Embassy Jerusalem, which has a constituency of 14 million in 110 countries, according to Hedding. “Its main mission is to repair bridges opened up between Christians and Jews because of historical anti-Semitism.”

Barbara Boxer Bashing Bibi on Obama

It's the stuff of early education: "my deep disappointment" and "contrary." The deep sense of betrayal oozing from every well chosen word...

I Want to have Your Baby, Sarah Silverman

Let's talk about motherhood and babies, and why some young girls start planning their weddings at age 7 and have the albums to show for it.

Surfer Rabbi Running for Senate, Ruffling Muslim, Tea Party, Feathers

A rabbi running for the U.S. Senate told a cheering audience, “I am an Islamaphobe and everything we need to know about Islam, we learned on 9/11.”

Barring a Miracle, No Need to Change the White House Curtains

Every educated American has had to explain to a foreigner, at one point or another, our election system, or, more specifically, the Electoral College.

Swing States Today

The first indication of an Obama bump following the DNC convention.

‘Muslim Brothers’ Invading Park Avenue

After quitting his Queens House seat disgraced by "texting," former Congressman Anthony Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin, a top aide to Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton (whom Michelle Bachman accused of being part of a Muslim Brothers conspiracy, seeing as her brother is a Muslim Brother—like her father and her mother, who are also Brothers—this is so Abbot and Costello) have acquired what the NY Post describes as a $3.3M "sprawling, 12th-floor Park Avenue trophy residence" which is owned by Rosen Partners LLC, which the Post says is headed by a close Clinton friend, Jack Rosen.

Singalong: We’re Gonna Tear Hitler Down

My good friend Jonathan Mark posted this video clip on his website on the same day some mad mega-Haredim sprayed Yad Va'Shem with graffiti accusing Zionism of causing the Holocaust. It occurred to me that blues man Leadbelly, who recorded his Hitler tune in 1942, could teach those crazy folks a thing or two about history.

Designer Leon Max Is Buying Up Britain

The Sunday Daily Mail features a colorful spread on fashion designer, owner of the Max Studio upmarket fashion chain, Leon Max, or Leonid Maxovitch Rodovinksi, "one of a clutch of rich Russians buying up chunks of Britain." The piece recalls another billionaire, Roman Abramovich, who bought the London Chelsea soccer team. But instead of buying soccer clubs, Max has purchased "a spectacularly beautiful English stately home." Love those Jews and their wonderful money…

German Federation Condemns Fans Who Hitler-Saluted Israeli Player

The German soccer federation condemned an anti-Semitic act involving Kaiserslautern's Israel striker Itay Shechter, 24, and says such abuse has to be "nipped in the bud" and "we must act decisively." Sunday's taunts came the day after his team's 4-0 defeat by Mainz – their fourth straight loss – in which Shechter did not play.

Poles Unhappy with Obama’s Retraction, as Entire Polish Economy Is at Stake

Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk demanded a more "explicit reaction" to Obama's "Polish death camp" comment. Poland fears being sued for billions of dollars worth of property appropriated from Jews.

US Pediatric Doctor Favors Female Circumcision

Dr. Hatem al-Haj, PhD, MD, a senior committee member of the Association of Muslim Jurists of America (AMJA), has recently published a 41-page Arabic-language paper titled "Circumcision of Girls: Jurisprudence and Medicine," explaining why female circumcision is recommended and even "an honor" for women.

Why Is Romney So Feverish on Israel When Most Jews Will Vote Obama?

It appears that Romney is not playing for the Jews. He has much more serious worries.

Video: Romney Channeling Republicans’ Wishes?

On Saturday, Mitt Romney introduced his running mate, Paul Ryan, as "the next president of the United States."

Reporters, Dog, Irate as PA Won’t Share Supermodel

Why, you might ask, does a supermodel require representation by PA security officials? This, as Fido might say, is where the best bones are buried. An irate Palestinian Journalists Syndicate condemned the Palestinian Authority's "heavy-handed treatment of reporters on Tuesday covering a supermodel's visit to Bethlehem."

Cartoon Rehab: It’s Miller Time, Sort Of

Today's cartoon is from Al-Watan (Qatar), from way back in May 13, 2003. The U.S. and Israel are shown eating from two sides of an apple that represents “the Arab states.” According to the middle-east-info.org, where we found it, this cartoon is noteworthy because it was published in Qatar, home to the Al Jazeera TV network. Qatar is considered by many in the U.S. State Department to be a U.S. ally and a relatively moderate state.

Is Weiner Running for Mayor? Show Me the Money…

"I'm very happy in my present life," Weiner, 47, told People Magazine. But the WSJ is asking: if he's so stay-at-homish, what will he do with his election bucks?

Cartoon Rehab: Oh, Go Ahead, Surrender, You Know You Want To…

Welcome to the Jewish Press Online Cartoon Rehabilitation Project (JPOCRP), or, in short (suggested by our colleague Rafi Harkham) Cartoon Rehab. We found this cartoon on the ADL website. They say it was originally published in Oman, April 12, 2012, and the original text, written in blood, says: "We Will Never Surrender."

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