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Posted on: January 5th, 2011Sections → Family → Parenting Our Children
One of the most important skills good listeners have is the ability to put themselves in the shoes of others or to empathize with the speaker by attempting to understand his or her thoughts and feelings. As a parent, try to mirror your teenagers’ feelings by repeating them.
Posted on: December 30th, 2010Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships
She: We have three children, a home and friends. Finances are not an issue: Yossi leaves money for our home, our family and for me, without my having to ask for it. The children are well dressed, well fed and healthy - at least physically. The house is clean, the laundry done, supper is on the table. I use every bit of energy to make our home the center of my life. But somewhere along the way I lost my marriage.
Posted on: December 29th, 2010Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships
Question: My wife screams and curses at me. For years I have been asking her to stop, but she hasn’t. Now she’s begun doing the same thing to our children, ages 10 and 7 – and they cower in fear. Actually, we are all afraid of her. She never hits, but I think the verbal abuse and screaming is worse.
Posted on: December 22nd, 2010Sections → Family → Parenting Our Children
Is Internet addiction the main cause of today's at-risk crisis? It's a topic most people shy away from, but it's one that needs to be addressed. Everyday more and more teens are getting hooked on the Internet and the effect of surfing may be taking its toll on our youth.
Posted on: December 15th, 2010Sections → Family → Parenting Our Children
Shaindy and Tova have both just earned their degrees and are eager to enter the job market. Both young women are highly qualified, and both are well equipped with impressive resumes and a long list of prestigious references. But while Shaindy finds employment almost instantly, Tova finds herself wandering aimlessly from one interview to another, never quite landing the job that she's looking for. What's the difference between the two young ladies? Shaindy prepared herself for the interview process in advance. She knew how to present herself and what to say. Tova, unfortunately, did not.
Posted on: December 15th, 2010Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships
Question: I trust my husband implicitly. He has never given me reason to suspect him of wrongdoing. So, why am I writing? Three years ago he began a new job. He works very closely with a frum woman. They make a very good team – she is the salesperson and crucial to the business. A few months ago they started to train together to run in a half marathon for tzedakah. Then I found out that she and her husband had separated. I did not hear this from my husband – it was a friend who told me. When I asked my husband why he didn’t tell me, he said that she asked him not to tell anyone and he respected her privacy. Then I found out that they skipped a workout because of the rain and instead had lunch together. This I heard from a friend who saw them together. Please understand I don't want to think he's doing anything wrong. Surely he wouldn't be in a restaurant for all to see if he was up to no good. He says I'm being overly sensitive. Is he right?
Posted on: December 8th, 2010Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships
Online infidelity may be the next upcoming challenge facing the Orthodox world. In the last 12 months, I have seen 11 Orthodox couples where one spouse has reported an online affair that has caused serious distress in their marriage. I now believe that an epidemic of online infidelity may be causing the breakup of countless Jewish marriages.
Posted on: November 24th, 2010Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships
Dear Rabbi Schonbuch, My husband drinks every night. He starts with a few glasses of wine with dinner and always ends with whisky. Some nights it's just one or two large ones and other nights it can be half a bottle. I know that we believe that drinking at a Farbrengen or a Kiddush is allowed, but when does it begin to become a problem?
Posted on: November 24th, 2010Sections → Family → Parenting Our Children
Psychologists study ways to help people find authentic happiness. Researchers report that using one's strengths allows for greater creativity, productivity and excellence. While theses are all the ingredients for professional and career success, they have also been found to work in people's personal lives as well. Utilizing personal strengths yields greater happiness and feelings of well being.
Posted on: November 17th, 2010Sections → Family → Parenting Our Children
Having parented a struggling adolescent for several years, Yael was expecting that life would be different for her now twenty-year old son. She was, and still is, an excellent student, diligently applying the tools she has been gaining in our coaching sessions. Harmony and peace has returned to her home, and the relationship (with her son) she was working on mending has become a reality. Admittedly, she attributes the restored relationship to a parenting methodology she has undertaken -- the love-tough approach.
Posted on: November 17th, 2010Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships
Dear Gary, I'm very upset with the younger generation today and the way they treat their marriages. I've been married for 56 years and admit that it hasn't always been easy. If I thought about getting divorced each time my husband upset or annoyed me, we wouldn't have gotten past the week of sheva brachos. It seems to me that today’s newlyweds don't want to make any sacrifices and think only of themselves. My grandson, the father of two beautiful young children, is getting divorced. He says its because he didn't make his wife happy enough and spent too much time working at his new job. This is outrageous. Do you think this younger generation is too selfish?
Posted on: November 11th, 2010Sections → Family → Marriage and Relationships
Dear Rabbi Schonbuch, My husband and I are having trouble in our marriage. We tend to fight about the same issues every day and he's very emotionally distant. At what point should I consider seeing a marriage therapist?
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