Cartoon Rehab: Oh, Go Ahead, Surrender, You Know You Want To…

Welcome to the Jewish Press Online Cartoon Rehabilitation Project (JPOCRP), or, in short (suggested by our colleague Rafi Harkham) Cartoon Rehab. We found this cartoon on the ADL website. They say it was originally published in Oman, April 12, 2012, and the original text, written in blood, says: "We Will Never Surrender."

Yated Ne’eman Seeking New Mashgiach?

A call to the paper's editorial offices resulted in utter bewilderment.

Watch Bassem Youssef Hosting Jon Stewart in Cairo

Platitudes—lots and lots of fresh, heaping platitudes…

Sheikh Boycotts Interfaith Conference Because of Jews

Al-Qaradawi said he opposes any discourse with Jews in principle.

Presidential Conference “Facing Tomorrow” While Facing Away from Observant Jews

Who on those panels has any connection whatsoever to me, to my shul, to our children? What does any of those folks know about the explosion of Torah learning in Israel, about our packed houses of worship, about our proliferation of loan societies, about our irrepressible demographics?

Kerry: Democracy Is What We say It is

Remember how we used to call him Boston Brahmin—what's happened to that?

Why I Love Working at the Jewish Press (I)

I plan to make this a series of articles, pointing out how the Jewish Press effectively removes the poison from the fangs of the Jewish media stories, putting things in context and perspective and providing a Truth that represents both reality, and by definition, our Torah values.

‘Natural Born Killers’ Murdered ‘Jewish Sounding’ Victim

Anti-Semitism in some parts is apparently so rampant, it's enough to have a Jewish sounding name for your life to be in danger. A couple of rampaging murderers who are up for several murders in Oregon and California, said in a jailhouse interview after their arrest that one of their victims, Cody Myers, was killed because he had a "Jewish sounding" last name. Myers happened to be a devout but extremely unlucky Christian.

With Romney Stuck Practically Everywhere, It’s Obama’s Race to Lose

Obama's overall favorable score is now a healthy 50.4% vs. 43.4% unfavorable, a spread of +7.0%.

It’s OK for Sarah Silverman to Wear a Cross

Does anyone among our readers feel outrage at the image of this Jewish girl from upstate New York with a cross around her neck?

No One Protesting Death of Prisoner in Palestinian Custody

The PA attorney general denied that the prisoner was tortured or beaten during interrogations.

No More Hebrew Classes in North Texas University, Registrar Glitch Blamed

For the past 10 years, UNT has been the only university in the North Texas area where students could study Hebrew outside of seminary. But, according to NTDaily.com, after many years of low enrollment, the program is being eliminated. Ruth Precker, the adjunct professor hired in 2002 to teach Hebrew, believes the program’s recent low enrollment is due to issues with the registrar – there was a glitch!

Cleveland Just Missed Its Chance to Own 3 Major League Jews

Had the (Jewish) heavens gone a little bit differently, Cleveland could become the first American city with three Jewish major leaguers playing at the same time.

Odd News: Glenn Beck’s Nazi Collection Goes on Display in Utah

I've no idea whether to feel offended by the fact that Beck saw fit to spend money on a sample of Hitler's blood.

Too ‘Hot’ for Comfort, Temp Sues Orthodox Bosses in Failure to Communicate

The owners of Native Intimates are Orthodox Jews. That by itself is not exactly shocking, since Jews of all stripes have been running New York's garment industry since the early 20th century. What's unique about this particular outfit is their poor choice in letting go a female temp at their warehouse because she looked and dressed too provocatively for the workplace.

Grownup Chanukah Stories

I went on a random search for similar "balabusta" solutions for the miraculous by really lengthy festival of lights.

Antisemitism Is Rampant in Europe, Pass the Matzo

Have we become desensitized to the signs of an approaching holocaust?

5th Annual New York Peace Film Festival Offers No Attacks on Israel

When a press release from the organizers of the NY Peace Film Festival popped in my email, I naturally braced myself for the usual torrent of anti-Semitic graffiti masked as criticism of Zionism we have learned to expect from any event with the words Peace and Festival in the title. To my very pleasant surprise, someone at the 5th annual festival has decided—imagine!—to dedicate the entire program to films discussing peace efforts around the world.

Mudar Zahran: King Abdullah Will Be Toppled in 2013

Zahran predicted that by the end of 2013 King Abdullah, whom he calls "the only non-Palestinian in Jordan," will be toppled, and at long last the Palestinians will be free to conduct their lives in their own country.

Matzel Toff? Really?

Punning might be the most annoying form of art save for mime (a punning mime, now that would be hateful). Check out the Monday NY Post (a paper known for outrageous punning, not enough mime) for verification. They claim that an outfit named Urban Nosh, which got its start making Matzel Toff, a chocolate-covered matzah, is adding a new, year-round version of the same dubious treat, called Matzel Bits, and are also conspiring to launch yet another new product, called Holy Macaroons. Help…?

Barbara Boxer Bashing Bibi on Obama

It's the stuff of early education: "my deep disappointment" and "contrary." The deep sense of betrayal oozing from every well chosen word...

When I Murdered Rabin

Between conversations and nibbling, one of my neighbors bent over and whispered, smiling, “At least in this shul we know no one is going to recited Tehillim for his speedy recovery.” My immediate, totally uncalculated reaction was to open a siddur (prayer book) and begin to recite Tehillim. I couldn’t behave otherwise. That‘s my nature – if someone will tell me NOT to jump off a bridge, I’m already up on the railing, hat in hand.

Sheldon Cooper’s Girlfriend Speaks at National Museum of American Jewish History about her Bat...

The lovely Mayim Bialik, heartthrob of millions of geeks as Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory, spoke at the National Museum of American Jewish History to mark the 90th anniversary of the Bat Mitzvah. I absolutely love Mayim, who confessed to nursing her own little boy, Fred, through age 3 ("I believe in child-led weaning"). I just think she may not be the best advocate for rituals of adulthood…

Morsi, Obama, the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Israel

The short history of the state of Israel is paved with mistakes, some of them understandable, some difficult to comprehend. But, in my opinion, no mistake even comes close to the signing of the Camp David Accords.

Election Day Joke (with Explanation)

Thank you, Jameel from the Muqata for the image, which I opted to usurp.

Israeli Media ‘Crucifying’ Windsurfer who Said ‘Shma Israel’ and Lost

She told an Israeli reporter about her plans: "I get on the surfboard, say 'Shma Israel, Hashem Elokeino Hashem Echad' and I go to war."

Memo to Obama: Mid-East Peace in 1 Hour or your Money Back

Mr. President, this memo is written in a children’s book format for several reasons: 1. To force simplicity and brevity 2. To demonstrate how uncomplicated the...

Church Official: ‘If You Flatten a Globe, Israel Is at the Center’

Malcolm Hedding, an associate pastor of the World Outreach Church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, was executive director of International Christian Embassy Jerusalem, which has a constituency of 14 million in 110 countries, according to Hedding. “Its main mission is to repair bridges opened up between Christians and Jews because of historical anti-Semitism.”

Swiss Politician Wants ‘Kristallnacht for Mosques’

Alexander Müller has resigned from the Swiss People’s Party after a tweet sent from his account called for a repeat of the Night of the Broken Glass, this time targeting Muslims. His tweet read: “Maybe we need another Kristallnacht… this time for mosques.”

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