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Yori's News Clips

    Matzel Toff? Really?

    Punning might be the most annoying form of art save for mime (a punning mime, now that would be hateful). Check out the Monday NY Post (a paper known for outrageous punning, not enough mime) for verification. They claim that an outfit named Urban Nosh, which got its start making Matzel Toff, a chocolate-covered matzah, is adding a new, year-round version of the same dubious treat, called Matzel Bits, and are also conspiring to launch yet another new product, called Holy Macaroons. Help…?

    Yated Ne’eman Seeking New Mashgiach?

    A call to the paper's editorial offices resulted in utter bewilderment.

    ‘Hineini’ by Any Other Name…

    I don't have a problem with the documentary, only the title.

    Egyptian President Giving Chutzpah a Bad Name, Lecturing the US on Respect

    Instead of stressing his friendship and loyalty to a country which, despite its own economic woes is generously helping to feed his 80 million plus citizens, Morsi is actually lecturing the United States, saying it needs to "fundamentally change its approach to the Arab world, showing greater respect for its values and helping build a Palestinian state, if it hoped to overcome decades of pent-up anger." For the record, since 1979, an annual contribution which totals, give or take, $30 billion has yielded the United States "decades of pent-up anger."

    Sheldon Cooper’s Girlfriend Speaks at National Museum of American Jewish History about her Bat...

    The lovely Mayim Bialik, heartthrob of millions of geeks as Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory, spoke at the National Museum of American Jewish History to mark the 90th anniversary of the Bat Mitzvah. I absolutely love Mayim, who confessed to nursing her own little boy, Fred, through age 3 ("I believe in child-led weaning"). I just think she may not be the best advocate for rituals of adulthood…

    ‘Ashkenic’ Jews to Celebrate the Passover with Brisket and Kuegel

    In Woody Allen's 1973 comic Sci Fi masterpiece "Sleeper," an underground band in the far future is trying to revive Allen's memory by acting out scenes from his childhood in Jewish Brooklyn. One of the men, in the roll of Allen's father, urges him, "Stop whining and eat your shiksa…" That was the feeling that overcame me when I read the article in Monday's Daily Mail of New Baltimore, NY, under the headline "Church brings Jewish traditions to life."

    ‘Arbeit Macht Frei’ – in Detroit Packard Plant

    No one knows if the sign is an ironic comment on the company's treatment of its employees.

    When I Murdered Rabin

    Between conversations and nibbling, one of my neighbors bent over and whispered, smiling, “At least in this shul we know no one is going to recited Tehillim for his speedy recovery.” My immediate, totally uncalculated reaction was to open a siddur (prayer book) and begin to recite Tehillim. I couldn’t behave otherwise. That‘s my nature – if someone will tell me NOT to jump off a bridge, I’m already up on the railing, hat in hand.

    Barring a Miracle, No Need to Change the White House Curtains

    Every educated American has had to explain to a foreigner, at one point or another, our election system, or, more specifically, the Electoral College.

    I Want to have Your Baby, Sarah Silverman

    Let's talk about motherhood and babies, and why some young girls start planning their weddings at age 7 and have the albums to show for it.

    How the Left Reports on Turkey

    I can spot a lefty report about Jews and Israel a mile away, but will I be able to catch those same tricks in a story about another country?

    Really Scary Pep Talk on How to Have a Safe Trip Abroad, Courtesy of...

    The world is not a safe place, is the bottom line of what our State Dept. wants you to know. But if you insist—heaven knows why—on leaving your safe bedroom and risk setting foot in one of those awful places you hear about in the news, there's a lot you need to know. Travelers can become victims of crime and violence, or experience unexpected difficulties, says the special page titled "A Safe Trip Abroad" on the DOS website.

    Surfer Rabbi Running for Senate, Ruffling Muslim, Tea Party, Feathers

    A rabbi running for the U.S. Senate told a cheering audience, “I am an Islamaphobe and everything we need to know about Islam, we learned on 9/11.”

    Moroccan Ghosts Hacked Reform Congregation Websites

    Not meaning to sound callused about the suffering of fellow Jews, but the cure for this could be simple...

    The Jews who Celebrated Erev St. Patrick’s Day

    "An advertising agency was trying to get some business for Moskowitz & Lupowitz, which was a Jewish restaurant."

    Is CUNY Planning a Jewish Quota?

    CUNY Chancellor Matthew Goldstein has stepped into a gigantic mound of odoriferous matter, and it isn't clear if and how he's getting out of it, and, worse, what will the cleaning bill be. What's worse, it's possible he didn't even intend all the mean things people are saying about him. Maybe all he wanted was to help…

    Is Weiner Running for Mayor? Show Me the Money…

    "I'm very happy in my present life," Weiner, 47, told People Magazine. But the WSJ is asking: if he's so stay-at-homish, what will he do with his election bucks?

    Gaza – You Won’t Recognize the Old Place…

    What do you think of when you hear the name "Gaza?" Gut wrenching misery of a devastated people under siege. Not if you judge by this music video, shot against images of the thriving, beautiful, totally modern city of Gaza, with thousands of folks gathering in a stadium for a celebration, and the obligatory images of armed Hamsniks in training. Everyone looks well fed and quite happy.

    The Secretive Casualties of War

    True story – because I saw it in Yedioth.

    Holocaust Days of Remembrance and Traditional Coconut Pyramids

    Here's the text that accompanies this image on the Pentagon-run website DefenseImagery.mil: "During the Holocaust Days of Remembrance U.S. Air Force Capt. Jennifer McGee, with the 12th Contracting Squadron, helps Madison Angelito and Alex Barner make coconut pyramids, a traditional Jewish dessert, at Randolph Air Force Base, Texas." There are Days of Remembrance? More than one? Needs checking. Also: traditional Jewish coconut pyramids? Whose tradition? Help...

    Israeli Media ‘Crucifying’ Windsurfer who Said ‘Shma Israel’ and Lost

    She told an Israeli reporter about her plans: "I get on the surfboard, say 'Shma Israel, Hashem Elokeino Hashem Echad' and I go to war."

    God Bless You Baroness Ashton for Leaving my Zeidi Alone

    If you ask me, if fewer politicians tell me how much they regret my zeidi's murder it's a step in the right direction.

    Iran VP Says Talmud to Blame for Drugs Trade

    Rahimi's remarks came at an international anti-drug conference in Tehran, attended by many foreign diplomats, and AFP says it was "a rare diatribe by an Iranian official targeting the Jewish faith, rather than the state of Israel."

    Swiss Politician Wants ‘Kristallnacht for Mosques’

    Alexander Müller has resigned from the Swiss People’s Party after a tweet sent from his account called for a repeat of the Night of the Broken Glass, this time targeting Muslims. His tweet read: “Maybe we need another Kristallnacht… this time for mosques.”

    Lie to your TV

    It makes me wonder if why we even bother to report on stuff.

    Why Is Romney So Feverish on Israel When Most Jews Will Vote Obama?

    It appears that Romney is not playing for the Jews. He has much more serious worries.

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