Amusement Park Admits: Overbooked Group Visits Just To Ruin Your Family’s Trip
“Frustration for a family that has to wade through throngs of misbehaving day-campers just to miss a shot at a bad stuffed imitation of a popular animated character… that’s what it’s all about.”
Palestinians Mull Plans For When No Holocaust Survivors Left To Stab
From the Arab perspective, the future of Holocaust-survivor-stabbing is bleak, and that replacements for it will not carry the same power.
Erdogan Wouldn’t Let Elders Of Zion Plan His Fake Coup
“For a coup to be believable, you need the armed forces to be behind it, not just a few units with some others along for the ride.”
Man Torn Between Wanting Return To Normal And Having Excuse Not To Go To...
“I’m not looking forward to when things open up and my wife starts asking why I’m not going.”
Gov’t Runs Out Of Ways To Explain Ban On Temple Mount Jewish Prayer Without...
“If we do our jobs and have to face the violent mob, people might get killed and we might lose our jobs, which would be the biggest tragedy of all.”
Ahashverosh Enlists J-Street To Oppose Temple Reconstruction
In honor of SHushan Purim: Ben-Ami’s organization rose to combat the common misperception that the Jews give monolithic support to their own redemption and restoration.
Political Parties To Outnumber Voters By Next Election
The pace of party registration with the Board of Elections has jumped ahead of the birth rate, such that if both rates continue their current trends, parties will outnumber Israeli voters by the first half of 2023.
UN Envoys Go Through Metal Detectors Into Session To Condemn Israel For Metal Detectors
“Who could ever agree to go through such humiliation as magnometers?”
Amnesty International To Merge With Hamas (Satire)
“It’s a natural synergy of goals and talents,” says AI spokesman.
God Fails To Get J Street’s Approval Before Promising Land To Jacob
Ben-Ami insisted that American Jewry in general, but especially his organization, must have a say in what happens from "the River of Egypt to the River Euphrates."
PreOccupied Territory: The Whole AirBnB Fiasco Is A Good Pretext For Not Cleaning My...
Outwardly I have to act as if I’m really annoyed.
Biden Announces He Identifies As Black; All Criticism Therefore Racist
Mainstream media sources rushed to assist.
Rabin Assassination Only Thing Remaining For Labor, Meretz To Feel Vindicated About
Officials admitted they find it difficult to identify any phenomenon other than Rabin’s assassination that paints the left in a positive light and the right in a negative one, given that the left’s policies resulted in so much carnage.
Palestinians Hoping Biden Will Remind Jews Not To Be So Goddamn Sovereign
“If the Jews of Israel want to live a normal existence, they have to forfeit the security that everyone needs in order to live a normal existence.”
Khamenei Disappointed Not To Be Named Part Of Biden Transition Team
The Ayatollah grew to think he established almost a birthright to shape US Iran policy during the Obama administration.
Oh Felesteen, We Love You So, We Will Burn You Up So The Jews...
O Felesteen, We shall free you from the prison of their wicked acts of farming, through blood and fire! Mostly fire, though. Lots of it.
My Favorite Biblical Moment Is When Moses Brought The Palestinians Into The Promised Land
When Moses, after four hundred years of wandering through the wilderness, finally led he Palestinian People into the land Allah promised to their ancestor Cain.
Gaza Mourns 6′ Tall, Bearded Kindergartener Killed By Israel
He met his end in a tunnel that IAF jets pounded with bombs the Thursday night before last, along with six other Palestinian toddlers in their twenties
I Like Sunsets, Walks On The Beach, And Sending Children To Get Shot At...
Love at first fight...
Holocaust Deniers Fear For Future Of Denial As Original Deniers Die Off
Even a soldier who was only seventeen at war’s end would be pushing ninety today.
Netanyahu Staff Now Using Iranian Nuke CDs As Coasters
“It would be a shame to have so many CDs go to waste. My children’s preschool can only use so many of the things in crafts projects.”
France Vows To Protect Remaining Un-defaced Jewish Tombstone
Police will reassign officers who until now have guarded synagogues, yeshivas, and other Jewish community institutions.
Jews Worthy Of Third Temple For Centuries Already; Bureaucracy, Contractor Delaying Work
"certain unnamed contractors who continue to claim they need fees to cover various zoning variances and building permits for the Third Temple and other, associated facilities, when in fact no such fees were stipulated in the contract.”
COVID Guidelines Almost As Coherent As Case For Palestinian Statehood
“We find slightly more support for the idea that Israel should rely on existential enemies to help guarantee its security.”
PreOccupied Territory: NGOs Can’t Hear Dying Syrians Over Sound Of How Awesome Hamas Is
“Chemical weapons? No, that couldn’t be right. Obama and Kerry promised Russia would take care of removing Assad’s stockpile.”
If Australia Moves Its Embassy To Jerusalem, We’ll Keep Doing The Awful Things That...
The dunderhead's blunder 'saids' in response to thunder from Down Under
Ayatollahs Realize US Would, By Contrast, Veto Any UN Resolution Against Iran
“Obama.’s been angling to abandon Israel since before he took office.”
Iranian Saboteurs Outed By Showing Up To Synagogue On Time
An eyebrow-raising violation of established custom.
New Party Just Aggregator Of Other Parties
“Being an aggregator and posing as something original isn’t even original,” he added. “Tzipi Livni did it first.”