Ahashverosh Enlists J-Street To Oppose Temple Reconstruction
In honor of SHushan Purim: Ben-Ami’s organization rose to combat the common misperception that the Jews give monolithic support to their own redemption and restoration.
Family Makes Aliyah Just To Escape All-Pervasive Christmas Music
While acknowledging Zionism in their upbringings, they talked mainly of getting the hell out of the discordant dystopia.
Jews Don’t Control the Weather? What Do You Call The Ten Plagues?
When a little bit pf Purim comes to Pesach--Trayon White brings his meteorological expertise to the Haggadah
Consistent Use Of Correct Hebrew Proves Man Is Foreign Spy
“He was using the right verb form for the third-person plural future,” recalled an agent.
Why Have Palestinians Been Ethnically Cleansed From ‘The Flintstones’?
People of conscience everywhere must protest. So let us rise up now and fight the erasure of Palestinians from The Flintstones.
Only Possible Conclusion From Unpopularity Of Party’s Ideas: Voters Stupid
“Essentially, the people are wrong for thinking Palestinians trying to kill us means we shouldn’t give Palestinians greater capacity to kill us,” explained Chairwoman Zahava Gal-On.
Umm El-Fahm School Nixes Program To Distribute Candy When Jews Die; Only Israeli Candy...
Market realities dictate the dominance of Jewish-owned companies.
Haredim Puzzled By World’s Use Of Sukkah Decorations In December
Sukkah tinsel decorations enjoy a robust market but are invariably manufactured for "another"holiday
Gov’t: Jewish Prayer On Temple Mount More Dangerous Than Agricultural Terrorism, Theft From IDF...
“Let me say it again: JEWS. PRAYING. You can just feel the existential threat.”
Erdogan Wouldn’t Let Elders Of Zion Plan His Fake Coup
“For a coup to be believable, you need the armed forces to be behind it, not just a few units with some others along for the ride.”
Ayatollahs Realize US Would, By Contrast, Veto Any UN Resolution Against Iran
“Obama.’s been angling to abandon Israel since before he took office.”
Rabbinate To Charge Non-Kosher Restaurants For Non-Kosher Certification
Establishments pursuing a more elite non-kosher clientele will also enjoy more expensive options such as certification that the establishment uses or serves wine consecrated or offered to idolatry.
New Party Just Aggregator Of Other Parties
“Being an aggregator and posing as something original isn’t even original,” he added. “Tzipi Livni did it first.”
Hamas Asks, ‘What Point Of Sukkah If Not To Keep Weapons Near Kids?’
“You don’t exploit that crowded situation to turn the wife, kids, and sisters into human shields? What kind of warped thinking is that?
Woman Who Boasts House Already Clean For Pesach Thinks People Admire Her, Not Want...
Reactions included numerous “Likes” in which the irony failed to resonate.
Aid Orgs Warn Of Low Supply Of ‘PRESS’ Vests For Hamas Personnel
Medical uniforms also hard to come by.
Israel Quickly Hides Dams To Undermine Gaza Flood Claims
It was in fact Israel, not Palestinians or journalists, who began spreading the older photos, in order to generate credibility for the “slander” angle.
You Zionists Are Trying To Kidnap What We Arabs Have Rightfully Stolen
Florin from the Princess Bride visits (in words) the Kingdom of the Jews
Amusement Park Admits: Overbooked Group Visits Just To Ruin Your Family’s Trip
“Frustration for a family that has to wade through throngs of misbehaving day-campers just to miss a shot at a bad stuffed imitation of a popular animated character… that’s what it’s all about.”
AOC: Make Poverty Illegal
“If we want our children safer in school, in the streets, and at home, we need to ban firearms; if we want our children to have enough to eat and a comfortable life, we need to ban poverty.”
Israelis Can’t Wait To Spread Obnoxious Tourist Reputation To UAE, Oman, Bahrain
Israeli travelers took to focusing on what they do best while out of the country: making themselves and their countrymen look like spoiled, whiny, provincial ingrates.
Nation That Colonized Half Of World Warns Jews NOT To Assert Control Over Own...
UK and EU opposition, though by no means unified, comes against the backdrop of two thousand years of European and other dominant powers trying to prevent Jewish sovereignty anywhere.
Unsold Purim Costumes Repackaged As Passover ‘Cereal’
The complete lack of food ingredients makes Rabbinate certification as kosher-for-Passover a formality.
Court-Ordered to Fire Minister Deri, Bibi to Nominate Him as Supreme Court Justice
"Aryeh, I see you on the court, bringing to bear a sensibility that those cloistered, wealthy 'intellectuals' could never muster."
Political Parties To Outnumber Voters By Next Election
The pace of party registration with the Board of Elections has jumped ahead of the birth rate, such that if both rates continue their current trends, parties will outnumber Israeli voters by the first half of 2023.
Egypt Not Worried About Pyramid Slavery Legacy: Everyone Thinks Those Slaves Were Just Jews
The timing of the Exodus narrative according to traditional dating places it centuries later than many of the pyramids.
Netanyahu Staff Now Using Iranian Nuke CDs As Coasters
“It would be a shame to have so many CDs go to waste. My children’s preschool can only use so many of the things in crafts projects.”
Eclipse Distraction So Successful, Mossad Plans More
“We’re chuffed to bits,” gushed a section chief in uncharacteristic exuberance.
Oh Felesteen, We Love You So, We Will Burn You Up So The Jews...
O Felesteen, We shall free you from the prison of their wicked acts of farming, through blood and fire! Mostly fire, though. Lots of it.
Iranian Saboteurs Outed By Showing Up To Synagogue On Time
An eyebrow-raising violation of established custom.