Yori's News Clips

Punning might be the most annoying form of art save for mime (a punning mime, now that would be hateful). Check out the Monday NY Post (a paper known for outrageous punning, not enough mime) for verification. They claim that an outfit named Urban Nosh, which got its start making Matzel Toff, a chocolate-covered matzah, is adding a new, year-round version of the same dubious treat, called Matzel Bits, and are also conspiring to launch yet another new product, called Holy Macaroons. Help…?

The Sunday Daily Mail features a colorful spread on fashion designer, owner of the Max Studio upmarket fashion chain, Leon Max, or Leonid Maxovitch Rodovinksi, "one of a clutch of rich Russians buying up chunks of Britain." The piece recalls another billionaire, Roman Abramovich, who bought the London Chelsea soccer team. But instead of buying soccer clubs, Max has purchased "a spectacularly beautiful English stately home." Love those Jews and their wonderful money…

We went out to watch the Purim Parade in our sweet town of Netanya, and for a few hours were transported to a care-free world, somewhere between Disneyland and New Orleans. Our daughter Yarden said, Purim is like Halloween but without dead people. Everyone was distinctly alive in Netanya this Purim. And everyone seemed to take very seriously the idea of the Purim happy noise. Even the babies.

When a press release from the organizers of the NY Peace Film Festival popped in my email, I naturally braced myself for the usual torrent of anti-Semitic graffiti masked as criticism of Zionism we have learned to expect from any event with the words Peace and Festival in the title. To my very pleasant surprise, someone at the 5th annual festival has decided—imagine!—to dedicate the entire program to films discussing peace efforts around the world.

Ginia Bellafante writes in the NY Times about the Park Slope coop wars we told you about a week ago (In-Fighting at Brooklyn Food Co-op over Israel Boycott). She points out the obvious: "Calling for a boycott of Israeli-made foods at the Park Slope Food Co-op turns out to be a lot like calling for a boycott of Speedos in Minsk. And, predictably, the use of a healthy food-related organization for political reasons has enraged the Hummus Party. I kid you not.

After moving the Rebbe's home at 770 Eastern Parkway to Israel, Lubavitch now moves the Kotel to America. My advice to you is, fasten the bolts and beams in your house, or one morning you'll wake up to discover Lubavitch has moved you to a new continent…

The German soccer federation condemned an anti-Semitic act involving Kaiserslautern's Israel striker Itay Shechter, 24, and says such abuse has to be "nipped in the bud" and "we must act decisively." Sunday's taunts came the day after his team's 4-0 defeat by Mainz – their fourth straight loss – in which Shechter did not play.

They didn't want marriage at age 95, but their parents insisted…It's a very old joke which I kept thinking about while watching this video. You absolutely have to, also, or you'll hate yourself afterwards. Seriously, they look so CUTE together, short, wrinkled, with 190 years between them and such sweet love. After their two-minute ceremony in a small room in the county office, the couple ate lunch at a nearby International House of Pancakes and returned to their Palm Springs condominium…

According to the State, Rabbi Meshulam Rothschild, 26, was moving about 3,600 cartons a week of illegal cigarettes with no tax stamps out of his warehouse on Spencer Street in Williamsburg. At $50 a carton in taxes, that's a very nice income, although not so steady, it turns out…

The case is, predictably, another ugly and scary and very personal one, which is why I stayed off it all this time. But as the pressure campaign is increasing and even Fox News is dumping on the husband (a Republican!), I went looking for some context. Now you can, too…

On the menu this morning: A Yiddishe Robbery … The Birds, The Bees, And The Jews … Latter Day This … Albert Brooks? Try Albert Speer! … and Human Rights Watch Guy Gets Watched Back. We're weird, we're borderline freaky, we're Jewish – get used to it. Or don't, we get paid either way.