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Jerusalem, Israel
5 Shevat 5778 -
? Sunday, January 21, 2018


Eclipse Distraction So Successful, Mossad Plans More

“We’re chuffed to bits,” gushed a section chief in uncharacteristic exuberance.

BDS Protesters Using Banners Made In Jewish Settlements

Signs of the times: BDS signs made beyond "Green Line" BDS is 'black and blue' from 'Blue and White'

Non-Arab Iran Willing To Fight Israel and the West Down To Very Last Arab

We are fighting a fight of survival. But it’s not our survival that’s at stake. We’ll be fine. Can’t say the same for the Arabs of the region, though.”

Therapist To Help Hamas Men In Collapsed Tunnel Who Feel ‘Trapped’

Feeling "trapped" and "no light at the end of the tunnel" has led to depression among Hamas diggers

UN Blames Israel For Lousy Mobile Reception In Hamas Tunnels

“It would have been more humane to enable the doomed people trapped in tunnels to play, for example, Candy Crush.”

Abbas Honors Pigeon That Pooped On Netanyahu’s Motorcade

The defecation took place last week, as Netanyahu’s motorcade made its way through Jerusalem. Bibi has had it tough with birds: Obama compared him to 'chickensh*t' and now this. How FOWL!

Moses Smashes Tablets At Seeing Nation Worship Two-State Solution

Moses descended from the mountain and beheld the uncontrolled passion with which the masses were dancing about the idol they had adopted.

To Get Obama’s Attention, ISIS Renames Self, ‘Global Warming’

ISIS intends to rename itself "Global Warming" in order to provoke US into confronting it seriously.

Israelis Hoping Livni Accepts UN Post So She Can Bring That Organization Down Too!

Israelis look forward to Livni’s eventual impact on the UN, which, if Livni’s record serves as an indicator, will descend into irrelevance and impotence.

Obama Cites Lack Of Polish Golf Courses In Skipping Auschwitz [satire]

“Many important occasions demand his (Obama's) attention and there is no way he can attend them all”

US Complains It Was Not Notified of Israel Sukkah-Building Frenzy

Aides to US President Barack Obama expressed displeasure today over not being informed of plans to assemble tens of thousands of makeshift residential structures over the last week in Jewish communities in areas both Israel and the Palestinians claim.

Al Aqsa Worshipers Confused By July 4 Fireworks Not Aimed At People

Numerous worshipers at the contested holy site hesitated before commenting on the American July 4 fireworks tradition, confused by the evident lack of intent to harm others in the celebration.

BDS Says Vashti Boycott Of Ahashverosh Feast Their Idea

This is not the first time the BDS movement has claimed victory as the result of a development that actually runs counter to their goals.

Israel Quickly Hides Dams To Undermine Gaza Flood Claims

It was in fact Israel, not Palestinians or journalists, who began spreading the older photos, in order to generate credibility for the “slander” angle.

Palestinians Mull Plans For When No Holocaust Survivors Left To Stab

From the Arab perspective, the future of Holocaust-survivor-stabbing is bleak, and that replacements for it will not carry the same power.

Naomi Returns To Bethlehem; Last Time Jew Does So Without Military Escort

Naomi came back to Bethlehem today after 10 years, marking the final time for about three millennia that a Jew will enter the city without need of an armed escort.

Haredim Puzzled By World’s Use Of Sukkah Decorations In December

Sukkah tinsel decorations enjoy a robust market but are invariably manufactured for "another"holiday

Consistent Use Of Correct Hebrew Proves Man Is Foreign Spy

“He was using the right verb form for the third-person plural future,” recalled an agent.

Sire, Haman’s Lottery For When To Kill The Jews Promotes Gambling

Sire, just because Eilat is considering legalizing gambling, doesn't make it good for Shushan!

Amnesty International To Merge With Hamas (Satire)

“It’s a natural synergy of goals and talents,” says AI spokesman.

Ayatollahs Realize US Would, By Contrast, Veto Any UN Resolution Against Iran

“Obama.’s been angling to abandon Israel since before he took office.”

Erdogan Wouldn’t Let Elders Of Zion Plan His Fake Coup

“For a coup to be believable, you need the armed forces to be behind it, not just a few units with some others along for the ride.”

Maggid Of Mezeritch: Gebrochts An April Fools Prank Gone WILD!

My friends and I were sure that our disciples, who were learned men, would get the joke, that Gebrocht was an April Fools prank and that would be the end of that. But it didn't happen that way.

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